Darling Steps

Putting Things into Perspective

Even if you’re not a parent, it’s sometimes very difficult to put things into perspective. Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns, many of which are quite frightening.

When you’re a parent, these unexpected roadblocks typically seem all the more daunting. After all, it’s your job to protect your children and assist them in making the best decisions, now and in the future. The following tips are suggestions to help you put things in perspective, as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Honestly, it can be done! All it takes is a little bit of practice.

Technically, putting something into perspective is comparing it to a similar situation. The end result is a clear, more accurate understanding of the problem. It can also mean coming to the realization that you now understand the importance of something.

Stay Calm

One of the most crucial things when trying to put things into perspective is to remain calm… or at least as calm as possible. Take three or four deep breaths. Briefly, close your eyes and try to envision yourself relaxing on the beach or one of your favorite destinations.

Doing your best to stay calm allows you to take control of the situation and come to a resolution as soon as possible.

Consider the Feelings of Others

In a perfect world, everyone would be considerate of the feelings of others. When perspective is an issue, try to put yourself in the shoes of all of the other people involved. What are their motives? What do they fear? Why are they behaving this way? These are just a few questions to think about.

Everyone is different. No two people look at a situation exactly the same. Before you say anything that may end up hurting someone’s feelings, step into their shoes. It really makes a difference.

Take a Break

If all else fails, take a break. Put younger kids down for a short nap or if you have older kids who don’t need constant supervision, take a walk around the block. This gives everyone the chance to cool off and think about things in a rational manner.

At this point, you can even talk to yourself a bit (if only in your mind). Doing so might prevent you from overreacting. Overreacting only upsets everyone and elevates the problem.

Remember that you’re the adult. If the situation is causing your children to be upset, seeing you upset will only make things worse. Let’s face it, life is stressful for everyone at times. No one is immune to stress-free parenting.

Now that we’ve talked a bit more about the best ways to put things into perspective, hopefully, it’s helped you stay on the right track. Of course, at times, you’ll still feel a challenge. There’s no way around it. But, the more you make use of these tips, the better off you’ll eventually be. Just take it one day at a time and as the saying goes… “don’t sweat the small stuff!” You’re certainly not alone. And, in reality, the world would be a boring place if everybody had the same perspective, wouldn’t it?

Relax – They’re Just Kids

While raising children is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, it can also be stressful. Parents are on call 24 hours a day, which can cause stress levels to build. This anxiety can lead to difficulty sleeping, headaches or a lowered immune system. Here are a few things you can do to help you relax and manage the stress that often comes with parenting.

Watch What You Eat

Not only is a balanced diet good for you physically, but it also helps you to manage stress. Eating right keeps your energy levels up throughout the day, and helps you to fall asleep at night.

One thing to be sure to include when planning out your meals is complex carbohydrates, such as those found in whole grain pasta and bread. These carbs may increase your brain’s level of serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that helps to keep you calm and in a good mood. Omega-3 fatty acid is another dietary addition that can help you to stay on top of any situation. Commonly found in fish, seeds, and nuts, omega-3s help to regulate the stress hormones in your body.

Get Plenty of Exercise

During a workout, your body releases endorphins, which brighten your mood and make you feel accomplished. In addition, the positive stress of an intense workout helps to prepare the brain for negative stress down the road. Consider starting an exercise routine, whether it’s walking around the block or even a gym membership. Not only will it help you to feel positive, but it may also give you the energy you need to keep up with the kids.

Set Aside Some Time

Don’t feel guilty for wanting to take some time out for yourself. Whether it’s being able to watch a movie uninterrupted or finding the time for a spa day, devoting a little time and energy to taking care of yourself will help you to maintain a positive attitude. If the children are old enough, you might encourage them to explore after-school activities, which will give you more time to tend to your own needs, as well as heighten your children’s interest in hobbies and activities.

Look for Help

At times when stress levels start to get high, it’s important to remember that you can ask for help. If you hire a babysitter or even give the kids a little time at their grandparents, this frees up some time so that you can take care of whatever you may need to get done. If you need to vent about the things that have you stressed, try calling a friend or even inviting them over to help you unwind.

When parenting gets stressful, it’s important to relax and stay in control of the situation. Your kids learn by watching you. So, responding to stressful situations with a positive attitude is more than a little important. By ensuring that your stress levels are under control, you can focus less on feeling anxious and more on the time you and your family spend together.

Common Sleep Problems in Younger Children

Most parents are aware of the importance of sleep for their child, but are not always clear about how much sleep is enough. They are also often confronted with common sleep problems which they may not be aware are not normal and need to be dealt with, or they know there is a problem but are not sure what to do.

How Much Sleep Does a Child Need?

A school-aged child generally needs ten to eleven hours per night. However, as they get older, get more homework, and engage in more recreational activities, their sleep can start to suffer.

Even mild sleep deprivation and disruption of sleep can cause serious issues. Studies have shown that those countries which practice daylight savings time note more accidents during the dates when the clocks change, especially when the clocks are set forward one hour and people therefore lose an hour of sleep.

A lack of sleep can cause:

* Accidents and injuries

* Behavioral problems

* Mood disorders, such as stress, irritability, depression and anxiety

* Memory, concentration, and learning problems, often described as a “brain fog”

* Slower reaction times, such as when playing sports, or when adults are driving

* Overeating and binge eating

* Gaining weight, mainly due to the lack of sleep affecting the hormones that impact metabolism and weight loss

If your child is showing any of these symptoms, it might be time to tighten up on your daily and nightly routines.

Other Issues to Watch Out For

Sometimes underlying health issues can result in sleep disorders. If you have noticed any of these in your child, it might be time to follow up with a pediatrician:

* Snoring

* Breathing pauses during sleep, gasping sounds or wheezing sounds

* Trouble falling asleep, even though you know they have been up for hours and have to be tired

* Problems with sleeping all the way through the night

* Trouble staying awake during the day, nodding off a lot in the car and/or at home

* Unusual events during sleep, such as sleepwalking or nightmares

* Night terrors, a reluctance to go to bed

* Bedwetting, which can disturb sleep and be very upsetting

* Getting up in the night for various reasons, such as the toilet

Snoring and respiratory issues could be a sign of a more serious condition known as sleep apnea, in which the upper airway gets cut off and the person literally wakes up for microseconds at a time in order to gasp for breath. Over time this can lead to both seriously disrupted sleep and oxygen deprivation.

Mood disorders can usually be handled safely without medication. Stress relief techniques, meditation and visualization of a “happy place” can all help.

Nightmares can lead to night terrors, a fear of falling asleep. Parents being on the same page about regular bedtimes and what to do if a nightmare occurs can help. So too can limiting anything the child finds “scary”.

Practical Steps

1. Establish a regular time for bed each night, seven nights a week.

2. Establish a regular wake-up time seven days a week.

3. Organize a relaxing bedtime routine, such as bath, pajamas and a story, to signal the end of the day.

4. Do not allow electronics in any bedroom (including your own).

5. Limit liquids three hours before bedtime, and avoid stimulants like caffeine and chocolate.

Adjusting Your Expectations for Every Family Member

Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting all of your children to do equally well in this world. It’s just another day in the life of a proud parent. Unfortunately, in the majority of families, not every child is created equal for one reason or another. Some children might even be dealing with a physical or mental disability, have a substance abuse problem or something else equally challenging.

That being said, it is possible to adjust your expectations for every family member in your household… even the adults. Other parents are successfully achieving this feat. Read on to learn more.

Defining Your Children

When defining your children, it’s extremely important not to compare one child against another. It’s also vital that you don’t try to fit them into a mold. Every child on this planet is different. No two kids will ever be exactly alike when it comes to things like thoughts and achievements.

Take the time necessary to really think about each of your children. Forget what their friends are doing, forget what you’ve heard online or on TV, and forget about what your spouse or partner says about them.

Ask yourself:

• What are my child’s needs?
• What is my child’s basic temperament?
• Where is my child in regard to development?
• What are my child’s accomplishments?

Once you have answers to these questions, you can start to zero in on your possible expectations.

Discovering Uneven Development

Every child develops a different rate. So, don’t automatically panic when you think one of your children is a bit behind his or her peers. In the vast majority of cases, these kids catch up eventually. It just takes a little more time.

At this point, you might want to schedule a meeting with each of your child’s teachers. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help your child with any delays he or she might be experiencing.

Adjusting to Different Levels

Assessing each of your children’s “reasonable behavior” also means taking his or her capabilities into account. For example, if one of your children happens to be afraid of heights, you may want to drive to your next vacation destination instead of flying. Don’t just automatically expect that child to get on an airplane and tolerate a long flight with no problem at all.

Always be tolerant of other people’s views when adjusting your expectations of family members. It’s not uncommon for your child’s other parent or adult relative to question your expectations.

If you disagree, sit down with that person and ask them why they feel as they do. Many times in situations like this, coming to an agreement is easier than you think.

From reading this, is it time to adjust your expectations for your family members? If so, there’s no better time to get started. The adjustment typically takes some time, so don’t expect it to happen overnight. But, with due diligence, you’ll accomplish the task before you know it.