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9 Ways To Stay Calm When Your Kids Don’t Listen

Staying calm and keeping our cool when kids press our buttons lol is tough. You don’t want to yell or hit them. You want to discipline and teach them in a healthy effective way without losing your mind. It’s simple to manage difficult behavior once you understanding the reason behind them. I’ll share 9 easy ways I stay when my children don’t listen.

Understand The Root of Your Feelings

To get the root of your emotions, you need to ask yourself if and why you’re angry. Is the frustration building from any other area of your life, and you’re reflecting this on your children? If this situation happened three days from now and you were away from your kids, would you feel the same?

Remove Yourself From The Scene

Walk away to cool off. Head to the bathroom, your closet, porch, or backyard and take a 5-minute break to figure out the most effective way to respond versus react. It is possible to calm down without losing your temper.

Scream It Out

If you can’t stop yourself from yelling, feel free to scream into a pillow or head to the bathroom (or any solo room) to close the door and let it out.

Related: How-To End Power Struggles With Children

Visualize Connections

Imagine what you genuinely want your relationship with your child to look like. Now, compare that to how it looks at the moment. Keeping the vision in focus allows us to remember our WHY. To ground us in the midst of frustration. Visualize yourself staying calm with your little one.

Stay Prepared

Create and choose a strategy you’ll use ahead of time to help yourself stay calm during tantrums, etc. It’s not always easy to deal with difficult behavior but it’s definitely possible to be a calm parent if your READY.

Related: How-To Discipline A Difficult Child Without Hitting

Keep A Notebook

Make a habit of jotting down frustrating moments. Then, at another time, look your notes over and allow yourself to free write without judgment. What happened? Why were you feeling this way? Then, move on with your day.

Related: How-To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling

Remember It’s Never About You

When kids are disobedient, it’s almost always a request for help and guidance. More than anything, your child wants (and needs!) you to stay calm to help them healthily solve their problem

Sometimes It IS About YOU

An unconventional statement, but, children are merely mirrors or tape recorders as I jokingly say. They are reflecting your own emotions. Whatever feelings your child is exhibiting, take a quick body scan, and analyze whether you are experiencing those emotions. Then, work on shifting your attitude, and your kid will follow.

Related: Keeping Calm As a Parent

Delay Your Reaction

If you can delay your anger or yelling (even if for just a few minutes)- you’re setting yourself up for success to approach the situation in a calmer way
6 Ways to Teach Empathy to Children

6 Ways to Teach Empathy to Children

The ability to understand the feelings of others is a core quality that contributes to healthy, prosperous relationships and social connections.

Parents who know how to foster empathy in their children weren’t born with this knowledge – they learned and applied it. And you totally can too! (I know because I’ve done it)

This skill can be tricky to learn, especially for toddlers. However, all of the work and effort you put in to teach this important trait pays off greatly.

The founder of the school of individual psychology said:

Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another
Alfred Adler

Now, I’m sure you have a ton of questions or even hesitations. I know I did:
- When is the right time to start teaching our kids empathy?
- How should we do it?
- Is the occasional lecture about the importance of the skill enough?
- Are there some creative ways to do it?
- Will your child end up overwhelmed by empathy?
Parents who practice conscious parenting-deal with these and many other questions on a daily basis.

Fortunately, even though it is a learned behavior, your child is born with the capacity for empathy. You just have to recognize it and encourage the attitude that cultivates this capacity.

Any parent who is capable of being kind and shows compassion already provides their children with a good foundation of empathy!

Here are 6 ways to teach your child the art of compassion and empathy:

Teach them about emotions

Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, differ, and name various emotions correctly is the key to future empathy. A child cannot empathize with feelings they can’t explain. By pointing out and naming emotions you assume your child is feeling, and the ones you’re feeling as well, you’ll stimulate the development of emotional intelligence.

Model and interpret a variety of feelings

Use everyday situations of observing distress (in real life, books, or on TV) and talk with your child about how the main character of the story could be feeling. Teach them to take a pause and think about other people’s emotions before taking any action.

Inspire curiosity for similarities

Kids feel greater empathy for familiar individuals and people who are more similar to them. Make your children aware of the experiences that they have in common with others. Allow them to meet people from different backgrounds so they can hear their stories and identify with them.

Read TONS of stories and organize role-plays

Empathy is more than just “emotion sharing.” It means taking another person’s perspective as well and trying to walk a mile in their shoes. Fictional stories and real-life narratives offer excellent opportunities for teaching empathy. Discuss the story you are reading with your child and focus on the hero’s emotions. ◦ Simulate common difficulties and life challenges with your children. This way they can perceive how they feel playing the role which will help them understand other people better.

Practice recognizing facial expressions & body language

Being empathic is hard if you can’t read someone’s face. Toddlers often misinterpret facial expressions. Show them pictures of people expressing different emotions and help them name each one of them correctly. Point out facial expressions with toddlers on tv and in real life.

After a conflict, ALWAYS share emotions

Conflicts happen in every family. Maybe you got angry with your child for something they did, or perhaps they got in a fight with their sibling. Once you’ve calmed down after the conflict, talk to your child about everyone’s emotions. This will enhance their empathy and also help them express their feelings more adaptively.

The moment you decide to teach your child empathy, you can be sure that you’re on the right path. Remember, each time you demonstrate empathy on your own, you are one step closer to having an emotionally well-developed child.
11 of The Best Growth Mindset Books for Parents

There must be hundreds of parenting books available but which books are best for helping you understand growth mindset? I’ve listed many books below that’ll help with just that! Enjoy and if you’ve read other helpful books, share them with me in the comments below.

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We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post. Please click my disclosure policy to learn more. I only recommend products & services I’ve used, vetted, & love! I appreciate you.

Mindset: by Carol S. Dweck

Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychologist, spent decades researching what caused some children to flourish while others seemed to stall. She discovered that there were what she calls two types of mindsets. There were the “fixed mindset and those that held a “growth mindset.” essentially, people with a growth mindset believe that their abilities can be developed and they can learn anything. While those with a fixed mindset believe they are either born with their gifts and talents, or they’re not. Dweck shares these findings to help motivate teachers, parents, and other professionals to motivate positive outcomes. “With the right mindset, you can motivate those you lead, teach, and love — to transform their lives and your own.”

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Psychologist Angela Duckworth shares her groundbreaking perspectives on gaining achievement. She states that talent alone does not equal outstanding achievement but persistence and GRIT. She shares her insights on why some people fail, and others succeed and the importance of remaining focused. She shares gripping personal stories that are insightful and life-changing.

How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character by Paul Tough

Paul Tough tackles the question, “Why do some children succeed while others fail?”

In “How Children Succeed,” Paul Tough argues that a child’s qualities and matters most are least related to their IQ scores and more to do with their character and skills like grit, curiosity, conscientiousness, and optimism. (He uses sound neuroscience and psychological research to support his perspectives.) He provides a radically different perspective and how to understand how our children develop character and how they learn to think and overcome adversity. This book will inspire you and change your understanding of childhood for the better.

Mindsets for Parents: Strategies to Encourage Growth Mindsets in Kids by Mary Cay Ricci

In this book, Mary Cay Ricci provides parents a blueprint for developing a growth mindset in their home. You’ll find her conversational style of writing approachable and real-world examples applicable to your own lives. This book is easy-to-digest and provides strategies for children of all ages.

The Growth Mindset Coach: A Teacher’s Month-by-Month Handbook for Empowering Students to Achieve by Annie Brock

This book was created by teachers for teachers and is an ultimate guide for unleashing students’ potential through creative lessons, empowering messages, and innovative teaching. This book provides everything you need to foster a growth mindset in the classroom.

The Growth Mindset Playbook: A Teacher’s Guide to Promoting Student Success by Annie Brock

This book is an easy-to-implement collection of creative ideas and new strategies that inspire students with the power of a growth mindset. As a sequel to The Growth Mindset Coach, education professionals Annie Brock and Heather Hundley show how to take mindset to the next level with further resources, examples, and ideas. This book is packed with detailed lesson plans, hands-on activities, and discussion points for talking with parents and other educators.

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes

This book by Shonda Rhimes (yup, the creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal and executive producer of How to Get Away With Murder Shonda Rhimes!) takes us on her journey of how saying YES for one year. Changed her life―and how it can change yours, too!

Mathematical Mindsets: Unleashing Students’ Potential through Creative Math, Inspiring Messages and Innovative Teaching by Jo Boaler

This book will help rid math anxiety for students of all ages. It provides practical strategies and activities to help teachers and parents show all children they can enjoy and succeed in math (even if they hate it). Jo Boaler–Stanford researcher, professor of math education, and expert on math learning–has studied why students don’t like math and often fail in math classes. She’s followed thousands of students through middle and high schools to explore how they learn and find the most effective ways to unleash the students’ math potential. She illuminates the gap between what research has shown to work in teaching math and what happens in schools and at home. This book bridges that gap by turning research findings into practical activities and advice. Boaler translates Carol Dweck’s concept of ‘mindset’ into math teaching and parenting strategies, showing how students can go from self-doubt to strong self-confidence, which is essential to math learning. Boaler reveals the steps that schools and parents must take to improve math education for everyone.

The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child by D. Siegel

This book helps guide parents to unlocking their child’s innate capacity for resilience, compassion, and creativity. In The Yes Brain, Siegal gives parents skills, scripts, and activities to bring kids of all ages into the beneficial “yes” state. You’ll discover the four fundamentals of the Yes Brain-balance, resilience, insight, and empathy. How to strengthen them, the key to knowing when kids need a gentle push out of a comfort zone vs. needing the “cushion” of safety and familiarity and the strategies for navigating away from negative behavioral and emotional states (aggression and withdrawal) and expanding your child’s capacity for positivity. The Yes Brain will help you nurture a positive mindset and keep your child’s inner spark strong!

How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by A. Faber

In this book, the authors guide us on tackling the challenging issues teens and parents face today. With their conversational writing style and straightforward advice, you’ll find it easy to walk away with easy-to-implement strategies and techniques to help you parent well.

The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by G. Chapman

In this book, Chapman provides tangible resources on parenting children well based on their “Love Language”. A must-read!

Grit for Kids by L. Daniels

This book will give practical advice on how to help kids develop GRIT! This book will walk you through and teach you how to do this in an easy-to-digest way. You’ll discover how to inspire your kids, teach them ways to manage their emotions, increase optimism, and so so much more!

How to Be an Imperfectionist by Stephen Guise

In this book, Guise suggests an exciting concept called “Imperfectionism.” Guise shares that from an early age, most kids are taught to color inside the lines and any color that goes outside those lines is considered to be a mistake (that should be avoided.) Guise shares how perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. However, Imperfectionism permits us to live outside the lines where “possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.” Guise applies the science of behavior modification directly to perfectionism’s roots, which then shows us a new and better change method.

There it is Mama’s! These book are the MUST-HAVES in your library if you’re keen to understand a growth mindset. If you’re looking for more growth mindset and positive resources, check out my other posts (you can also “search” growth mindset in the search bar)

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9 of the Best Tools to Make Your Life EASIER When You’re Stuck at Home!

9 of the Best Tools to Make Your Life EASIER When You’re Stuck at Home!

Now that we’re all in some form of lockdown and stuck at home, we need help to keep kids occupied more than ever! I’m sharing the best tools, services and more that’ll make your life easier when you can’t leave the house.

1.This Disinfectant

I recently purchased a bottle of this cleaner, and I’m in love. Obviously, I feel obliged to share it with you, considering we’re in the middle of a pandemic and all. This stuff smells fantastic and is an effective germ killer. It’ll disinfect everything in your home fast and is safe to use around children.

Make sure you use this to disinfect your doorknobs, light switches, remotes, facets, and countertops daily! (and any other frequently touched surface)

2. Growth Mindset Journal

This journal is my favorite resource for teaching my kiddos how to confidently develop a resilient mindset to face life’s challenges. Since we have some extra time, I’m desperately searching for non-screen time things to fill the gaps. I recommend this bundle HERE or anything in this SHOP. The printables are a high-quality resource for parents, teachers, and counselors.

And you can get 25% OFF the bundle by using the code: SAVE25

3. Time Timer

Is anyone else finding their kids and routines are entirely out of whack right now?

Maybe, the kids are fighting more, you’re experiencing more meltdowns, disobedience, or the kids are going to bed later and later every night.

Whatever the case is, you NEED this timer in your life. Why? This brilliant little creation visually shows your child how much time they have left for specific tasks! It’s handy for kiddos that have NO SENSE of time. LOL (you know what I mean, ahaha. Is it ready NOW???)

I use it for a ton of things, multiple times a day.
- Screen-time limits
- Play-time
- Schoolwork time
- Cooking
- Cleaning
Pretty much ANY routine that needs timing. Now, for the pessimist or extreme couponers in the back, LOL (I see you. I was you too). I know you’re wondering WHY you would invest in something like this when you could use the timer on your phone. BUT, while you’re right, you could use this; you’re kids can’t see the timer/clock.

Trust me, using this clock will significantly reduce the temper tantrums and meltdowns that come from “time being up.” This way, your kids can trust their timing and judgment because they can SEE what is left. It’s so simple but genius!

4. How to talk so kids will listen

This book is utterly amazing, and quite frankly, every person should read it. Whether or not they have children. Why? If you have kids, that’ll be your holy grail to understand how to talk to your children like the little human beings they are.

If you don’t have children (hmm, if you don’t, I’m not sure what brought you here, LOL), this book will still help you speak to other adults in a compassionate, understanding, and empathetic way. Most, if not all, adults have unresolved trauma. With many utterly unaware that this exists. When we speak to one another, we are essentially talking to the delicate inner child (& childhood experiences/perspectives) within us.

5. Darling Steps’ Huge List of Activities For Kids

I’ve compiled a list of activities for kids to complete no matter where they are in the world. Most, if not all, are free or low-cost.

Access the list of kids’ activities here.

6. Books for Kids

We have a family of avid readers. (Hello, friend! You’re looking at the quiet, shy kid whose head was always in a book. I forced, I mean encouraged this hobby onto my children)

Although this list isn’t cumulative ( I promise, i am working on writing a list of every book we have read, loved, and enjoyed! I can’t wait to share it!)

Here’s a list of our favorite books to help kids foster a positive, growth mindset.

These books use fantastic imagery and examples to show kids how to think positively and develop resilience.

Check out those growth mindset books here.

7. Musik Subscription

Musik is one of my family’s favorite subscriptions! We love it because it’s like Netflix or on-demand for MUSIC! It’s laid-back yet organized fun. You choose any class you want, grab any instrument you have on hand or household items in its place, and hit play. Before long, you and your kids will find yourselves singing and having fun!

It’s an easy way to insert intentional bonding time into your day. You could also opt to use it as the “Netflix nanny,” where the kids follow the teacher while you complete any chores or work.

8. Green Kid Crafts

My kids (and me! Who am I kidding? lol) LOVE these boxes! It can be such a struggle attempting to put crafts together that don’t look like a haphazard project the dog ate! Everything your kids would need comes included right in the box! And I don’t know about your kids, but my kids love receiving mail. (don’t we all?)

They provide cool, fun, engaging science and STEM discovery boxes that are extremely high-quality, beautifully designed, and thoughtfully crafted to stimulate your child’s passion. And, if that wasn’t enough- they are a great small mom-owned business that provides excellent customer service. You’ll definitely want to grab your FREE TRIAL here!