Humility is such an important aspect of being human. Even more so in parenting. Many people will tell you that in order to possess humility, you have to possess self-confidence. This is a matter of opinion.
The definition of humility (according to dictionary.com) is “to be humble” or have a modest opinion about your own self-worth.
It’s easier to instill than you think.
Right off the bat, let’s note- no two families are the same.
When teaching your kids humility, it’s always best to “go with your gut.” That certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t consider the advice of friends and family members, who are always usually more than willing to give it.
You know your children best.
Being Thankful
You have to teach children to be grateful for everything they have. Even the small things. As well as the non-material items like- family. Children need to learn how to say “please” and “thank you” at a very young age. (Obviously) This is of course, is a vital sign of respect.
Being Apologetic
Being humble means, we’ll need to be apologetic and express empathy. No one is immune from making mistakes. It’s the way of life. But by learning to apologize, children can put aside their pride and also don’t expect any pampering in return. Even if your child is a little wee bit wrong, it’s essential for them to apologize.
Exhibiting Self-Respect
We should never expect children to be someone their not. Nor should we ever and I mean never compare them to other children in order to be happy. Everyone deserves the right to feel comfortable by being unique in their own way. Self-respect plays a significant role in this.
Also, children that learn self-respect will almost always have an easier time valuing others. Kids who are exposed to other nationalities/races & cultures are learning about value, without even realizing it. (yay for travels!)
Be Helpful
Being helpful is a trait that everyone should possess. Teaching children to be useful in all types of situations is part of being humble. It can be something as small as opening a door for someone or raking a senior’s leaves.
Something we all tend to forget: children learn by example. Seriously, they’re walking camcorders. Because of this, it’s so important for parents to lead a life of humility. It won’t do any good to teach these values if we as parents are going to live a different life. Then, what will happen is children will generally be confused and uncertain as to what road they should follow.
Teaching a child to be humble is free. All it takes is time, love and patience. Of course, children probably won’t learn the idea of humility overnight. But, when properly taught, it’s a trait that they’ll be passing on to their own children & so on, for generations.
Happy moms don’t find happiness like you’d find a penny on the ground. They make it happen. Cultivating happiness habits can make a marked difference in your life.
Be deliberately optimistic
Optimism is imperative to emotional wellness
I’m gonna keep it real with you. This isn’t going to be easy. It’ll all depend on where you are in your own health journey. If having a happy go lucky personality doesn’t come naturally for you, then I’d suggest moving your focus on CBT. This will help shift any negative thoughts that you typically have towards healthy, happy, not so negative thoughts. In turn, you can focus on being intentionally delighted within your home. #happywifehappylife #happymom
Prioritize Mindfully
Consistently align choices, intentions, and actions with the top priorities of love happiness and health
How many of you are guilty of the “just five more minutes” attitude? As moms, sometimes we aren’t putting what matters most first. Society does a shi*ty job of acknowledging everything we do, and stay at home moms tend to get the sour end of the stick. We work from home, clean, cook, playhouse to start. Sometimes in that order. Maybe. Maybe not. The tv might stay just a little longer than it should. The tablet keeps playing far longer than it can manage, so they better stay near the outlet if they want to keep playing.
If we don’t prioritize mindfully then, life will pass us by. We will stay in this go go go mentality leaving us to feel inadequate and incomplete. Enter guilt and shame. Hello, excess toys. Goodbye, memories, and experience.
That is in our reach. Its something I can do and something you can too.
Keep uplifting resources on hand
A few surefire mood lifters may include a green smoothie, mani-pedi solo dance party to at least one get your feet moving song by a favorite artist
You know those well-intentioned friends that give the same crappy, cliched overused (again but well-intentioned) tips on feeling better? Like the ones in bold right above ^
They mean well, and so do I., but you’ve heard them a thousand times, right? Arent, you tired of it? Keep the citrus essential oils on hand, run a bubble bath, yadda yadda. The works.
Can I share something that actually freaking works?? Or better yet, share what another writer shared with me?
You’ll find it in this article here. But, I’ll sum it up in a nutshell.
Take a shower. First, as hot as you can stand it. Then after a few minutes of doing this….shift that tempterature guage to as cold as you can stand it. Think, its over 100 degrees outside in the middle of texas hot and you NEED this cold shower. All the while blasting, key blasting your most favoritue upbeat song and singing as loud as you can!
Did you read the article? Seriously it’s a good one. Go read it and ill be here when you get back. Or bookmark it for later.
Put yourself first: it’s the best way to bring your A-game to everyone else
Oh goodness, this one sounds so selfish. Doesn’t it? But I want you to hear me loud and clear on this one here. Because I took way too damn long to learn this. No, seriously, like ten years after being a mom. (this applies in the marriage also ladies, more articles to come)
If you want to pour love and all good things in others, especially your family (the ones that tend to treat the worst, according to research), you need to make sure that your own pitcher is FULL. You can’t pour from an empty glass.
If you put yourself first….your health, your needs, your wants…then you won’t feel as if your lacking and can freely (& happily might I add) pour into others.
Be a prolific seeker
Seek beauty, joy, adventure, pleasure growth, and powerful meaning in all areas of your life.
I think that’ll be easier for some moms than others. Especially depending on your upbringing. Let’s say you grew up in the countryside…then it may be easier for you to literally stop and smell the flowers. But those of us that grew up in large cities, certainly don’t have time or the focus to do this.
However, I think all moms, in one or another, get lost in the everyday chaos. I mean, the activities of the day. We forget to express gratitude for the little things.
When the day feels like an utter mess and complete fail, what are you choosing to see?
Gratitude for having all the things you have? (as opposed to not have a mess but also not having what you need?)
Grateful to have a home and beds to sleep in? Food in your refrigerator, plates to eat them on and a family to share it with?
& the ability to have hair at all? (many don’t and struggle to feel beautiful for many different reasons)
Don’t make things personal
Absolutely nothing others say or do is about you, ever.
Let me share what a counselor once told me:
what someone thinks of you is NONE of your business.
That’s it. Don’t you go and overthink, overanalyze and complicate this mama. It’s none of your damn business. Period. <in case you missed that one.
Examine the worst that can happen
Many of the limitations you’re placing on yourself aren’t real they’re illusions.
When the sh*t hits the fan (in real life or your beautiful mind) do this:
Think about the absolute worst that can happen. >insert “fear” from Inside Out.< LOL
Once you do that, remind yourself that the odds of that happening are slim. Analyze what you can do in reality if that worst-case scenario did occur. Then, write it down and tuck it away. Let yourself know that should this happen. You’ll consult your note and guidance from friends and family to settle it then.
Making this a habit changes the vibration of your life and the lives of those around you. Plus, it feels great
Before you react to respond to ANYTHING, listen, and see how you can insert or place love in it.
Let’s say, little one number one comes along, screaming and hollering that little one 2 hit them…. insert toy flying across the room, also while you are doing very important said activity.
You might be livid, yell at little one and two. Shut the door and either continue or discontinue the activity.
Write a quick morning email to praise or thank someone
Or download an app like Habits to track habits. Create a gratitude habit/alarm (the alarmy app is frustratingly amazing) to go off every morning. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. But it’ll make your day and another person as well.
leave a love note tucked in your spouse’s jacket or kids backpack (or stick them on the door or bathroom mirror)
write and thank a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
How to Forgive Yourself – The Hardest Form of Forgiveness
If you’re anything like me, you are your own harshest critic and toughest judge. It’s not easy to forgive and it’s even harder to forgive yourself when you know you’ve done or said something wrong. The good news is that it can be done and if you follow the advice below, you’ll be well on your way to forgiving yourself.
Start By Asking For Forgiveness
Nine times out of ten you do something that involves and hurts another person. Before you can start to forgive yourself, you should ask that person for forgiveness. Make up for what you did, set things right, and then ask them to forgive you. It’s a powerful thing that will help both of you move on.
Vow To Do Better In The Future
Next, it’s important to make sure you won’t do the same thing again. Forgiveness is meaningless if you just turn around and do it again. At the same time, by thinking about what you did and how you can be better in the future, you’re taking a big step towards forgiving yourself.
Facing your own mistakes and shortcomings isn’t easy. Take your time, work through it, and look at it as a learning opportunity. Until you face your faults and figure out what you can do better, you can’t learn and grow as a human being. Take that opportunity and make it count.
Repent and Atone
Yes, this sounds very Christian and medieval, but there’s something to be said for atonement. It’s much easier to forgive yourself when you feel like you’ve paid a price for what you’ve done.
Asking for forgiveness and vowing to do better in the future may be part of that, but sometimes you need to take things a step further.
Do something nice for the person you’ve hurt. What you do and how you do it will vary from situation to situation. Do what you can to set things right or at least make things better for the person you’ve hurt.
It’s also important to realize that the person you’ve hurt may not ready to forgive and move on. That’s ok. Respect their space and their pain. Instead, go out and do something nice for someone else. Go help out in your community, run some errands for an elderly neighbor, be kind to a stranger. Do something nice to balance out the negative things you’ve done. Trust me, even if you can’t help the person you’ve hurt, you’ll feel better for it.
Last but not least be there when the other person is ready for forgiveness. Don’t expect to have the slate wiped clean. Take responsibility for what you did and at that point do what you can to make things right. Most importantly acknowledge the forgiveness and thank the person for it. This is as much for their benefit as yours.
If you assess the way your child is developing by comparing him (or her) to other children, you may be burdening him with self-esteem issues that carry over to both his teen and adult years.
While comparing the progress and success of peers is a standard practice in our society, it can be very damaging to young people. This is because of the essential developmental milestones that occur during childhood. It’s vital to recognize that children don’t all develop at the same pace, and feelings of inadequacy may only make their developmental progress harder to monitor. Here are some of the reasons why.
Your Child May Resent You
Being compared to their classmates or siblings can make your child feel resentful toward you. The pressure to meet your expectations can lead to feelings of anxiousness or sadness. They’ll feel like you’re unhappy with them and try to distance themselves from the source that is the cause of their discomfort. This can lead to a child who no longer trusts you enough to seek your help or guidance on the unfamiliar subject matter.
Long-Term Damage
It’s not uncommon for memories of our childhood to resurface in our adult lives and affect us in some way. This is especially true if the memory often occurred during childhood.
Events that have a strong negative impact on your child could lead to issues with self-worth or self-esteem later in life. And, while you didn’t intend for your words to be hurtful, your child may not understand it at the time and only remember it as a painful memory.
Over-Inflated Ego
While giving praise to children is encouraged, it can do more harm than good if it’s implemented negatively. Telling your child that they are better than their siblings or peers can lead to feelings of superiority to those around them.
It also teaches that it’s ok to put down others to feel good about yourself. Of course, it’s important to give praise for accomplishments. But, it’s best to do so in a way that paints them “good at something” rather than “better than others at something.” Essentially, you will praise the effort, not the act or “gift.”
How to Stop Comparing
It’s never a wise idea to compare your child to others. Whether or not their test scores in a particular class are higher than everyone else’s, the important thing to do is to show appreciation for the effort your child makes. Help them set realistic goals for improving their own abilities and encourage them to ask you for help if they need it. Above all, be sure your child knows that your approval does not depend on how popular or outgoing they are. Support them at all times and let them know that you’ll be there for them regardless.
Taking steps to treat your child as an individual allows him to effectively develop into his unique self, rather than a person he’s pressured into becoming. For example, he may have potential in music class, but never develop the talent because he feels compelled to play sports instead.
Remember, the goal is to treat your child like a strong individual, so he or she will grow up to be a healthy and appreciative adult.
If you have more than one child, these tips will help tremendously in not only keeping the peace but raising wholesome siblings who love and admire one another!
