The Importance of Having a Daily Routine

A daily routine offers a ton benefits. It helps us get through the day without thinking too much about the little things. Even more importantly, it sets the stage for a good night’s sleep, so you and your child will wake up refreshed and ready to start another happy and productive day.

The Benefits of Routine for Children

Children benefit from structure. They learn what to do and when to do it. They learn how to do things, like brush their teeth, get dressed, solve math problems and so on. There is plenty of room for creativity during the 9 AM to 3 PM school day, and in extra-curricular activities. However, routines help them know what to expect and enable them to feel safe and secure. Regular meal times and regular bed times are two of the best ways to schedule your child and keep them happy and healthy.

How Much Sleep Does Your School-Aged Child Need?

Before we talk about a sleep schedule and sleep routine, it is important to know how much sleep your child needs, and why. If your child is attending school, assume they need ten to eleven hours of sleep per day, preferably at night rather than naps (which can be hard to get during a school day, and which can disrupt a regular night’s sleep pattern). There are two stages of sleep: rapid eye movement (REM) and non-rapid eye movement (NREM). Both are important, but REM is considered to be the most healthful and rejuvenating, allowing people to not feel sleep-deprived and to therefore put in a good performance every day. Children enjoy about 30% REM sleep in a 90-minute cycle throughout the night. But if they do not sleep long enough, or deeply enough, they can start to become sleep deprived.

Signaling It Is Time for Sleep

A predictable daily routine will help signal it is time for sleep. Dinner, homework, a bit of TV and/or computer use, all show it is time to wind down at the end of the day and relax. The trouble is that when we get busy, these routines can start to suffer, with rushed meals grabbed on the go, too much homework, and the addictiveness of “just 5 more minutes” on a game that turns into another 30 minutes or more. A bedtime routine should include getting into PJs, brushing teeth, and a few pages of a familiar old book to help your child wind down.

There should be no media in the room.

Reserve the bedroom for sleep. Cut down on clutter so they are not distracted. Make sure the bedding is comfortable and the room at the right temperature. If the long days of summer prevent your child from falling asleep at their regular time, get some blackout curtains.

Keep Up the Routine Every Day

It is okay to relax it a bit once in a while, but in general, try to stick to the same routine every day, even weekends and vacations. This will cause less confusion to your child’s “body clock” and make bedtime less of a battle.

When Should My Child Go to Bed?

In reference to school-aged children, one of the most common questions parents have is when their child should go to bed. The answer will depend on the age of the child. In general, school-aged children should get about ten to eleven hours of sleep per night, for a number of reasons.

The Importance of Sleep

Sleep is essential for all living beings. In humans, studies have shown that even mild sleep deprivation can have devastating consequences in terms of accidents, as well as poor performance at work, school, sports, and so on.

The Two Phases of Sleep

The two phases of sleep each have their own role to play in maintaining good health.

1. i) Non-rapid eye movement (NREM) or “quiet” sleep

During the deep stages of NREM sleep, a number of physical changes take place that can help repair the wear and tear on the body. The blood supply to the muscles is increased, bathing them with essential nutrients. Rest allows a person to renew their energy. During NREM, tissue growth and repair will also occur. In addition, important hormones related to healthy growth and development are released. There is a connection between sleep and weight, so if you have a chubby child, don’t just look at what they are eating and their levels of activity; also consider how well they are sleeping.

1. ii) Rapid eye movement (REM) or “active” sleep

During REM sleep, our brains are active and dreaming occurs. REM sleep appears to repair the wear and tear on our brains. Our bodies become stiff and even “paralyzed”. The breathing and heart rate both become irregular. This may not sound restful, but it is considered the most important sleep stage for truly restful and rejuvenating sleep. All people cycle between NREM and REM throughout the night, switching from one to the other – especially if they wake in the middle of the night. Babies spend around 50% of their time in each state, with a sleep cycle of about 50 minutes long. A school-aged child will have 30% REM sleep and the sleep cycle will usually be about 90 minutes.

Sleep Issues to Watch Out For

There are several sleep stealers to watch out for that can lead to sleep deprivation in your school-aged child if you are not careful.

• Busyness

Children tend to skimp on sleep due to homework, extracurricular activities that crunch their schedule, and too much media on the TV and/or gaming on the computer. Make sure your child is not taking on too much every day. Set limits on entertainment. Avoid it too close to bedtime, as it may be too stimulating before going to sleep. Make sure you have a night-time ritual – getting into pajamas, brushing teeth and so on.

• Struggling to fall asleep, or stay asleep

Overly stimulated children will have trouble falling asleep. They might even rebel and refuse to go to bed, demanding to stay up late. Some children wake in the night and have trouble falling asleep. Others sleep in only short bursts, which might result in them never reaching the REM stage, or not staying in it long enough to feel truly refreshed. If your school-aged child has sleep issues, try to discover the cause and get them back to a regular routine.

How to Organize Your Life to Get More Free Time

Most people feel as if there is too much to do every day and not enough time to do it. But, how does that explain those people who are super-productive and seem to get so much more done than the average person? The way to explain it is that they’ve found what they want to do, and they do what they want to do, and nothing else.

Determine What’s Important

There are some things that really aren’t that important but you do them anyway. Maybe you talk on the phone to a relative every day for an hour but you really don’t want to and don’t have time to, but you don’t know how to stop it. Sit down and brainstorm what is important in your life and who is important in your life so that you can focus on those things.

Schedule Everything

Once you know what’s important, use a good calendar to schedule everything, including leisure time. It might not sound romantic, but scheduling in date night with your spouse and sticking to it will ensure that it happens, while spontaneity is usually impossible for most people. Ultimately, if something is important to do, it’s important to get it into your calendar. When you schedule things, be realistic about the time factor so you don’t overbook yourself.

Learn to Say No

You probably have a lot of people, family, friends, co-workers and bosses asking you to do all sorts of things that you really don’t want to do, don’t care about doing, and don’t really make a big difference in your life other than to suck time from your day. Realize that it’s OK to say no to things that just aren’t important to you. It’s okay if people think you’re a horrible person too. They’ll get used to it and find someone else to sucker into doing everything.

Start Your Own Business

There is a saying that only entrepreneurs quit a 40-hour-a-week job to work 80 and call it freedom. But, it doesn’t really have to be all that bad. Entrepreneurs often have a great work-life balance that you can’t have working for someone else. The trick is to pick a business that can eventually be handed off so that you only manage it, and other people do the work.

Turn Off the TV

It’s amazing what kind of time TV sucks from your life these days. Now that we have Netflix, Amazon, and other streaming technology, anything we want to watch is available on demand. This makes binge watching a real thing. Save binge watching TV for when you’re sick, the weather is bad, or it’s that time of the month. Try to limit your TV (show watching) time to less than one hour a day. Then only watch it if you can combine it with physical activity to help you stay healthy.

Get Off the Internet

A lot of people get online and call it “work” or “research”, but all they’re really doing is messing around. Reading Facebook for hours on end is not work or research; it’s a time sucker. While it’s fun, try to let go of doing it. Time yourself to find out how much time you’re wasting, then set a limit. Everyone deserves fun, and if this is fun for you, you should not give it up. Just limit it.

Automate What You Can

There are so many things these days that can be automated, with the right time and money. For example, if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can get many things auto shipped to you, which will save you a trip to the grocery store. Look up “the internet of things” and you’ll be amazed at the type of automation that exists today.

Outsource What You Can

There was a story that made the ground in 2013 about a man who outsourced his Verizon security job to China. Pretty crazy and genius if you ask me.

However, unless you own your own business you probably don’t want to go that far with it, but you can outsource a lot of things such as yard work, housework, and even cooking if you have the funds to do it. If you don’t like doing it, you can outsource it to someone else, giving yourself that added time to do what you do like doing.

Follow Your Body’s Rhythm

Many people are running around trying to beat the clock while running on fumes. They are doing that because their internal body clock is not set to run from morning to night like our society tries to run. It’s easier to do this if you have your own business, but try as much as you can to work and sleep when your body wants to do that instead of forcing it out of its natural rhythm. You’ll be more productive; thus, you’ll save more time.

Getting more free time in your life might seem difficult. You might think you’ll always be on that treadmill of working and sleeping without any breaks. But, if you schedule things better, find a better job that works with your needs, and focus on what’s important in your life, you can manage to find more free time in your life.

Coping with Nightmares

  Nightmares are never pleasant for anyone, but they can be particularly difficult if your child is suffering from them. You may feel helpless and upset for your child. The truth is that there’s a great deal you can do to help them deal with any nightmares they might have. Here’s a logical sequence of events that can help them settle back down to sleep, and which should also prevent recurring nightmares and anxiety about sleep.  

Dealing with a Nightmare

Go to your child’s room

Go there to comfort and reassure them.

DO NOT ask them to tell you about the dream

This will make them relive it, and might even lead to them having the same nightmares again.

DO NOT engage with the content of the dream

If they say they saw a big scary monster, don’t start looking for it in the closet or under the bed.

Be practical

How many of us remember what we have just dreamed of minutes before we wake up each day? Dwelling on a bad dream is difficult when we have other things to pay attention to. Make suggestions that will help your child get back to normal.  

You might suggest:

• Going to the bathroom
• Washing their face
• Planning breakfast when they get up in the morning
• Reminding them of all the exciting things they will be doing the next day, and how much they will enjoy them once they have had a good night’s sleep

Settle them back down

Younger children might benefit from a special toy, blanket, or nightlight, as long as it does not shine in their faces and interfere with their sleep. Older children might like a fresh set of PJs or a quiet chat. Some parents teach their children relaxation, stress relief, and meditation exercises. These can be as simple as breathing meditation, with long, deep breaths, or as complex as a visualization, in which the child can go to a “happy place” in their mind whenever they feel stressed.

Distract them and tire them out

  There are many ways to distract them and help them get back to sleep. Bedtime stories can always help. Choose an old favorite – nothing too exciting. Give them a magazine or photo album of happy images to go through. Some like to listen to music. Start with Brahms’ lullaby.  

Dealing with Recurring Nightmares

 If your child keeps getting nightmares, widen your attention to other important aspects of their life, such as:

• What they are watching on TV
• What they are reading
• What games they are playing on the computer
• What issues they are encountering at school, such as bullying or stress
• What problem or conflicts there might be in your home

Then take steps to address the issue. For example, ban horror movies and books. Make sure they are playing games suited to their age level.   Talk about important issues at the dinner table and during non-pressure moments. Discuss dreams, for example, and how nightmares can be unpleasant, but they are just products of the imagination – not a glimpse of the future or a sign something terrible might happen.