Sheree

  • When Kids Aren’t Listening

    Put your shoes on RIGHT NOW. OR ELSE! This is the fifth time I’ve asked you, mister…yada yada yada. Sound familiar? Why won’t our children do what they’re told?

    In a perfect world, children would obey their parents without a second thought. Unfortunately, the world is far from perfect, and kids don’t always do as they are told. The good news is that, as a parent, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Read on to learn how to get your child to do what you ask… without begging, bribing, threatening, and screaming. Yay!

    Be Versatile

    No two children the same. It’s for that reason that you need to be versatile when it comes to getting your children to obey you. Some kids are naturally strong-willed, which poses more of a challenge. You may have to impose consequences several times for them to follow the rules. If one particular consequence doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, the best thing to do is to try a new one.

    Choose Your Battles

    Don’t reinforce rules that don’t have major significance. For example, in the case of older children, don’t be so strict about things like having them make the bed the first thing in the morning. It’s more vital for them to wear a helmet when skateboarding or riding a bike.

    When attempting to get your children to follow the rules, regardless of their ages, issue an appropriate time limit. Simply giving them a list of things to do, without a timeframe attached, means that what you’re asking them to do may never get done.

    Be an Active Listener

    It’s imperative to listen to your children, regardless of how well they do what you ask. If they continue to disobey you, even after multiple attempts of being told what to do, take the time to sit down with them and ask them what the problem is. Getting down to the bottom of the issue will help you both understand the steps you should take to rectify the problem.

    Say What You Mean

    When you tell your child to do something, mean it. Following through is everything. Children who don’t obey only learn by being presented with a set of age-appropriate consequences. No consequences mean that they can continue to ignore your requests without any significant changes in their daily routine.

    Also, make sure your child is paying full attention to what you’re saying. Look him (or her) in the eye to let him know that you mean business. Many parents make the mistake of yelling commands from another room. Typically, when this happens, the request is taken much less seriously. If your child isn’t in the same place as you, ask him to come to you or take an extra minute and go to the child.

    Probably the most important thing to remember is to stand your ground. Never give in, no matter how tense the situation. If you give in once, your kids will recognize that the next time they don’t want to obey. They’ll drag things out until you decide to give in again.

    These are just a few simple things that you can do to get your child to obey you the first time, without the need to threaten or beg. It may take a bit of time to achieve satisfactory results. But, with patience and due diligence, chances are you’ll soon see significant improvement.

    You Need to Take Care of This

    Parenting isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to deciding which parent is going to dole out the discipline. Arguments often ensue as a result of one parent insisting that the other be “the bad guy.” It’s an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.

    The good news is that there is something that you can do, as the disciplinarian, to better communicate with the unwilling parent. Keep reading for more information.

     Be Insistent  

    When being asked to lay down the law, be persistent in your explanation that you feel the task needs to be a shared responsibility. Indicate that you prefer to talk to your children as part of a team. This will help to prevent the possibility that your child will automatically take sides and end up preferring to deal with the more lenient parent whenever times get tough.

    Giving in to the other person’s demands, to make the problem go away, isn’t an answer. Think of it as putting the bandage on a cut that needs stitches. It’s always much better to come to some agreement regarding sharing disciplinary responsibilities, rather than just giving up.

    Don’t Argue 

    When your spouse, ex, or significant other demands that you talk to your child to rectify any issue, do everything you can not to argue about it – especially when the child is in earshot. Even if you have to step away for a moment to gather your thoughts, it’s much better than getting into a heated discussion.

    Along the same lines, never tell your children that the other parent is making you discipline them. It should be obvious that bad-mouthing mom or dad will only create more hatred and lessen the chance of everyone getting along in the future.

      Instill Confidence  

    Many times, in cases like this, silent parents are silent because they lack confidence in their parenting skills… especially when there is tension in the household. Try to reassure your child’s other parent that he or she is an essential part of the disciplinary process and that you genuinely value their input in the matter.

    Mental Consequences

    Unfortunately, there can be mental consequences to frequent “good cop, bad cop” discipline sessions. Children learn about relationships by watching their parents. So, as adults, these same children will be more apt to get into an identical routine with their kids.

    Also, on an even deeper level, children whose parents have a difficult time with discipline sometimes suffer from lower self-esteem. Typically, when a child feels as though a parent has a problem accomplishing something, he (or she) perceives the same of himself.

    Remember, the “good cop, bad cop” approach is meant for criminals, not children. Pitting one parent against the other never solves anything. It only creates more tension and possibly even alienation.

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having different parenting styles. Varying perspectives are quite beneficial when it comes to many parenting-related issues. Problems occur when one parent is so set in his or her ways is it difficult for them to try something different.

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  • Moms With Eating Disorders

    Could You Have an Eating Disorder? Are you a mom too?

      Do you find yourself gaining weight during times of stress? Do you fear boredom because you know you’ll simply eat to fill the time? These are just some of the symptoms of emotional overeating. If you think you’re suffering from any sort of eating disorder, some signs and symptoms may help you identify whether or not this is what you’re struggling with.

    Mindless Eating

    If you have a binge eating disorder or emotional overeating problem, you may stuff food in and not even really taste it or realize what you’re doing. It’s as though you are “out of it” and just mindlessly stuffing food into your mouth. It’s especially easy to dismiss this kind of thing when you’re a mom because it sometimes feels like you hanging on by a thread. (we need our energy!) But there’s a fine line between eating for health and eating for chewing sake. (and I’m not judging girlfriend, I’m right next to you)

    Feelings of Guilt and Shame

    Many people with emotional overeating disorders feel really embarrassed and hateful of themselves after they’ve got through with an eating binge. The problem, of course, is that these negative feelings may make you reach for more food for comfort. If you find yourself reaching for food when you’re stressed and then feeling sh*tty afterward then, this can be a sure sign. I know (I KNOW) how hard it is to acknowledge this and even more so to share with someone else. However, remember that life is bigger than you. And this is simply a moment in time. You WILL get through these emotions.

    Eating in Secret

    Because of being embarrassed, may emotional overeaters will eat in private, reserving their “naughty” foods for when no one is looking. That chocolate bar you hid in your drawer or the snacks you ever so meticulously stowed away IN THE BACK of the cabinet. Yea, it’s tough to overcome this habit and easy to continue in silence, but I promise you, nothing is ever secret, and whether you, believe it or not, your kids ARE watching. You deserve to be the healthiest version of YOU. And your family deserves honesty. You got this.

    Always on My Mind

    Do you think about food all the time? Do you feel anxious about the prospect of leaving the house without snacks or money to buy food? Constantly thinking about food (food obsession) may be a sign that you have an emotional overeating disorder. An unhealthy motto I still  live by is:

    I don’t eat to live. I live to eat.

    Feeling Sick

    Sometimes, emotional overeaters will eat and eat to comfort themselves, and then feel sick afterward. This is your body’s way of telling you you’ve eaten far too much more than is good for you, but for emotional overeaters, this sickness does not necessarily deter the next binge. I placed this one last because I know I ignored this for A LONG TIME and brushed it off as I’ve always had stomach, digestive issues. UGH. There’s a load of mental blocks and breakthroughs to be had before you may be able to overcome this issue. That’s okay. Just commit today.

    Identify Your Triggers

    Emotional overeating is usually triggered by something – emotions, yes, but sometimes we need to be more specific than that. Identifying your triggers can go a long way toward helping you overcome the disorder. Basic trigger categories include: * Emotional – Eating to relieve boredom, stress, or anxiety * Psychological – You may eat in response to negative, self-destructive thoughts * Environmental/Situational – You may eat simply because the opportunity is there. Also in this category is the habit of eating while doing another activity, such as reading or watching TV. Do any of these signs and symptoms describe you? If so, don’t worry – there are treatment options available for emotional overeaters. Check with your healthcare provider for advice on therapists or specialists in your area.

    women stomach pain
  • should we pray with our children

    Should we pray together with our children?

    why you should pray with your child

    If you’re not a ‘new’ Christian, none of what I’m going to write will come as a surprise and this isn’t for you 😉

    This post is for the new mamas whose learning and trying to make sense of this brand new identity, just like I was just a few years ago.

    And so, YES! You should absolutely be giving your kiddos the opportunity to join you in prayer.

    There’s something powerful about praying in unity with others and certainly with our children.

    By praying together, you’re leading by example and there’s truly nothing more powerful than that!

    I didn’t grow up in a religious household or even a Christian household for that matter. However, some nights during my childhood, my mother would recite the ‘Our Father’ prayer & I’m so grateful she did.

    Why you should pray with your children?

    • Praying is nurturing to the spirit
    • It teaches our kids that they’re connected to a larger reality that surpasses our own thoughts and understanding…teaching them trust
    • Prayer teaches us how to submit and quiet our spirits. We’re able to be a living example of stillness and working and sorting through all the emotions of our day and that of what consumes our mind.
    • Prayer encourages us to read the scriptures…Seeking His Word, allows us to get all the answers we need
    • It teaches how to develop gratitude and joy… when we teach our children to be grateful and to pray for the blessings received, they learn to give thanks
    • Allows quality time together…simply put- praying together is an intimate and holy thing to do
    • Gives children confidence and boldness… when fears arise- prayers help make a child feel safe
    • It encourages positive behavior. As kids learn what the Word of God says, they learn to obey and the world gets loving, well behaved, compassionate children! [well, most of the time! haha]
    • There is POWER in prayer
    • It’s a blessing for you and your child
    • Provides ample practice to memorize the scriptures

    Let’s raise up arrows together! What are some other great reasons to pray with our children? Let’s hear it below!

  • What Hotels Won’t Tell You

    The Dirty Secrets Your Hotel Won’t Tell You

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    So you’ve arrived at your destination, BUT, your apartment isn’t ready…Sweet mama, DO NOT fear! You can make this work. Ask me how I know…go on…

    You see, I’ve had the luxury and unique struggle of having to live out of several different hotels for weeks at a time….ranging from one week to 5 months at a time. With the family! In not so ‘busy’ cities. In other words, I spent A LOT of time INSIDE the hotels watching every person’s role and daily routines…So yes, trust me when I say, I understand what you’re going through and when I tell you- YOU CAN & WILL get through this!

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    Because I am a recovering clean-freak, its only fitting I begin with all the deets I’ve learned about hotel cleanliness…

    So here are The not so glorious sides of hotels….

    (What hotels won’t tell you)

    Here it is:

    Cups:

    If you’ve ever stayed in a hotel, you know very well, that most, if not all will be supplied with a coffee maker and cups and mugs of some sort. (Props to the paper cup hotels!) What you may not be aware of, however, is – how these items are cleaned. ALERT: They aren’t! Well, sort of. These items never leave the room and are almost always ‘washed’ right in the bathroom sink! With plain ol’ water and a towel. Just fantastic.[insert sarcasm]

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    Phones:

    Walk into a hotel room and 9/10 it WILL be clean. However, this does not mean that everything is not sanitized or cleaned correctly. Note- the phone and tv remote…two of the most touched items in a room by customers but never cleaned. Just think about that for a moment.

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    Water:

    This may or may not be an obvious one, but the water in the room really should NOT be consumed. It typically is not deemed as ‘safe’ drinking water.

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    Carpet:

    Another funny one here, if you have children, the rug is rarely cleaned correctly. Do NOT eat anything that falls on the carpet LOL no matter how clean it looks.

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    Menu options:

    If you ever find yourself, in the grave situation of living out of a hotel…do KNOW that the menu is very expendable. There is almost always more items in the kitchen than what is listed and many ways to cater to your family’s dietary needs.

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    Glass water bottles:

    I’ve noticed in European hotels, that they will always provide a large glass water bottle with meals etc. However, if you do not see them cork open that glass right before you…well, you can be pretty sure you are drinking tap water (honestly, even if you do…there is still a chance. So go with bottled) This isn’t always ideal depending on the location, or you’re own personal digestive system)

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    Ice:

    Same here, avoid it if possible as this is ALWAYS made with tap water.

    So, those are just a few of my quick tips if you’re finding yourself living out of a hotel! Which I hope you don’t unless of course, you want to 😉

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    What about you? Have you ever lived out of a hotel? Alone or with a family? Any tips or ideas?

    hotel secrets

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