Investments That Will Make Your Life 100x Easier When You Are a New Parent
So, you’re pregnant… congratulations!No doubt the news fills you with immense joy and excitement, which was then followed shortly by an equal dose of fear, uncertainty, and terror.When you’ve asked your friends for advice and tips, chances are that they’ll have told you the same thing: ‘nothing can prepare you’. Wow, helpful!While it’s certainly true that nothing can prepare you (sorry!), it’s also true that there are lots of handy tips, tools, and products that can make life at least a little bit easier. Okay, a LOT easier.Here are some investments that every new parent should look into:
Amazon Prime
Amazon Prime is a life-line for new parents. The main feature of Prime is that it offers next-day delivery along with free delivery. This in turn means that you can have anything you need within 24 hours. And that’s game changing.
Have you run out of diapers (or nappies for my UK readers)? Amazon Prime. Need a bib? Amazon Prime. Bed broken? Amazon Prime!
What you may not realize is that many times you will be too busy to leave the house. At all. For days. As such, you either order-in, or you don’t get the thing you need! And as a great added bonus, Amazon Prime also gives you access to Movies, which means you’ll be able to bring up a bunch of great programs to keep your toddler subdued while you do other things.
A hands-free kit is another incredibly useful tool for parents. Because not only will you be stuck in the house a lot of the time, but you’ll also be unable to use your hands a lot of the time. That means you won’t be able to speak with friends or with your electrician. Unless you have a hands-free kit that is! In which case, you’ll be able to much more easily stay in touch with others without having to put baby down.
Co-Sleeper
A co-sleeper is a cot that has one removable or collapsible side. The idea is that this will allow you to push it next to your bed, so that your baby is lying with you and you can put your arm around them should you so wish. However, they also aren’t actually in your bed, meaning you can’t roll on top of them!
This may or may not suit your parenting style as some parents prefer not to sleep with their children. But if you’re happy to sleep in the same room, then a co-sleeper can reduce stress and give you fewer disturbed nights!
Okay, so this isn’t exactly news – you likely know you need a baby monitor! But the question is, “What kind?” If you get a baby monitor with a camera, it can work wonders when it comes to putting your mind at rest.
Some parents feel it is invading the baby’s privacy, but again this comes down to parenting styles. You can even get monitors that log heart-rate, though this can lead to some scary moments if the device ever malfunctions!Another feature that is very useful is to have soothing sounds and music. Many parents say these can work wonders when it comes to helping their children get to sleep – as can VOIP so that you can speak to your baby and soothe them from afar. Consider your options!
A front pouch for your baby makes a lot of sense when they are still very young. A newly-born child should be kept as close to the mother as possible a lot of the time – almost as though they were still in the womb.
A front carrier helps them to feel calmer and happier. It also allows you to free up your hands and actually get things done!
Some of these items may seem expensive, but they are well worth their cost many times over. Sometimes they may save the day for you, and other times they might just bring peace of mind. How do you put a cost on that?
One of the most important gifts that you can give to your child is a healthy sense of self-esteem. This significant inner security comes with feelings of being unconditionally loved, safe, and complete.
Your child, very likely, has the ability to develop healthy self-esteem if the environmental conditions are supportive. Your contribution in creating these conditions is connected to your ability to show affection to your child.
Being able to connect and forge a bond with your child isn’t relevant only in infancy. Toddlers need such a connection too. They can’t thrive without it. Good parent-child relationships don’t just happen, they are consciously made and maintained.
What a Parent and Child Need
Sense of safety
Unconditional acceptance
Unconditional love
Ability to adapt
Kindness
Compassion
Empathy
There’s no single solution to how to get this relationship right, yet there are a few powerful activities you can share with them that will communicate affection.
If you take your time to offer your child a space of safety and love, your relationship will keep improving and getting stronger.
Building a Strong Relationship
Create tiny rituals. To create an environment of trust and respect, you can develop simple daily rituals and engage in them with your child.
Rituals are best mastered if they’re connected to an existing habit. For example: going to the park after lunch, morning hug after waking up, hug and run before playschool, or daddy/mommy dance when one of the parents returns from work. The options are unlimited.
These tiny traditions shouldn’t be complex and definitely should not cost you much.
Simple and easy experiences that don’t require a lot of planning usually make the best and most sustainable rituals.
By cuddling and hugging them after a certain behavior, you support the formation of the neurological pathways that will reinforce this behavior.
On the other hand, when your child is upset or shows intense fear, frustration, anger, or another negative emotion, this highly charged emotional expression might stress you out. The most common automatic response is to control and suppress your child’s current sentiments.
However, instead of following your initial instinct and causing additional emotional pain to your already-suffering toddler, it’s much better to take a moment or two to calm down, accept your child’s state, and offer a hug.
Inspire curiosity. Besides being crucial for learning and intellectual development, curiosity plays an important role
Stimulating your child’s curiosity also leads to more imagination, playfulness, creativity, and sets them up for a more satisfying future.
The best way to inspire this sacred sense of wonder in your child is to be curious yourself. Be a role-model and show your interest in various activities, ideas, and cultures.
Additionally, if your child has started to talk, you can ask questions, question answers, practice and encourage active listening, pay attention to details, and more.
Spending time cultivating curiosity with your child shows that you care.
Carefully set limits. One aspect of parenting that is most in need of affection is the process of teaching discipline. Defining boundaries, setting limits, introducing responsibilities – all of these can be taught and introduced in a dignified, loving manner.
What kids look for when they learn about discipline from you as their parent is your own level of ability for responsibility. Children seek to see if you’re “walking the walk.”
Having your toddler’s respect matters more than your strict assertion of the rules. If your little one feels that you’re dependable, reliable, consistent, and disciplined yourself, then you can be clear but gentle when you set limits, and your word will be obeyed.
Early childhood is a precious, luxurious period for you and your child. The more you cherish the moments of affection with your toddler, the stronger the bond between you becomes. All your child needs is your love.
How The “Hero’s Journey” Can Teach Your Kids About Resilience
Kids need heroes.
I know you want to raise a resilient child. So, the best way to do this is to make sure your kids have a hero in their lives. Someone who is going to inspire them and offer a moral compass. Someone who is going to be a powerful role-model. A character who shows that life is an adventure that comes with troubles and hardships, enemies and danger, but always ends well. As long as the hero doesn’t give up, victory is possible.
As Albert Einstein said:
“You never fail until you stop trying.”
Every good movie, book, or story typically has one myth in the middle – a myth called “The Hero’s Journey” that was introduced by Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero with A Thousand Faces.”
The author aims to show to us that adventures world-famous heroes are facing aren’t far from what we’re going through in our present life, each day.
Understanding this will support you and your child to be more persistent, patient, and resilient, just like Simba, Hercules, Luke Skywalker, and Batman.
The hero’s journey usually consists of 12 steps which could be divided into 3 major stages:
The first stage. This stage starts with the hero’s separation from his ordinary life. This separation happens because the hero’s boring life has been challenged by a call or invitation to adventure.
As stepping out of one’s comfort zone is not easy, the hero hesitates at first and decides to refuse the invitation. Soon enough, he regrets that decision and then comes across someone wise and inspiring who becomes his mentor. Once the hero feels supported and guided, he is ready to take the journey.
The second stage. As the journey unfolds, trials, challenges and difficulties are rising. One is more difficult than the other.
This part carries the most significance for learning that resilience is a necessary part of any successful adventure and life in general. When the hero endures uncomfortable and painful tests and faces the strongest enemies, they often find new ways of solving challenges and adopt many shifts in mindset.
The third and final stage. Steps in this stage include: reward, the road back home, the final test, and return home.
After many battles and obstacles, the hero finally returns to their former life. From the outside, everything seems to be the same, yet it all feels very different. This is because the hero has changed and transformed through the journey.
Helping your child to understand the hero’s journey within a movie, cartoon, or fairytale is a fantastic way to help them develop a moral compass of integrity, resilience, and compassion.
This kind of storytelling contains some major resilience-forming ideas:
Helps children understand the importance of individual strengths
Introduces the benefits of learning from mistakes
Empowers children to make decisions
Recognizes the importance of being open to support
Promotes qualities such as fairness, integrity, persistence, and kindness
Demonstrates how behaviors affect others
Stresses the importance of generosity
Helps kids understand that life’s events aren’t random
Teaches the importance of discipline in life
Your children will face massive change through their life, just like you did. Through that change they will gain greater insight into their identity and capabilities.
The sooner they find out that life carries trials, tests, and difficulties, the better equipped they will be to face them.
With morally balanced and highly accountable heroes in your child’s immediate surroundings, your child learns to embrace change in life as they embark on their own wonderful journeys and adventures.
Are you ready to become that hero for your child?
Start by identifying your current reality, recognizing the changes you need to make, and then make them in order to become a better version of yourself and a greater role-model of resilience for your child.
Life Lessons: How the Hero’s Journey Can Teach Kids About Perseverance
Every parent would like their child to be successful in life – a winner, an autonomous, resilient, self-confident person, who is more often happy and satisfied than not – someone who conquers everyday challenges and leaves the battle without too much scarring.
Brilliant scientist and Nobel Prize winner, Marie Curie said, “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”
Yes, perseverance is what it takes to deal with life’s difficulties each and every day.
So, how do we do that? How do we teach our children to stay persistent despite difficulties and delays in achieving success?
Do we set them on our lap and tell them life is hard, but they need to be strong?
Do we put complicated tasks on their path to see how they’ll deal with them?
The best way to teach perseverance to kids is to read them stories. You just have to spend quality time with your child and be patient. Reading stories about heroes and even introducing them to various cartoons or movies can be more beneficial than you might think.
The “Hero’s Journey” is the standard template used in stories, fairy tales, and movie plots. It explains how the hero handles the situation, deals with the difficulties, solves the critical issues, and as a result, learns something new and significant.
Here are the beneficial, perseverance-related messages your child will get from heroic tales:
Everyone is good enough to be a hero
Most of the stories start by describing the hero’s life before the adventure begins. Here, a child will learn that heroes are common, regular, everyday people who encounter extraordinary situations.
Kids don’t have to own superpowers to be persistent in dealing with life. Being who they are is their biggest power.
New adventures are all around us
An adventure doesn’t have to start dramatically. Kids just have to recognize it and accept it as challenging but not impossible. Everyday life is full of simple and complicated challenges.
The hero’s journey explains that anything that disrupts your daily life can be perceived as a challenge.
It is okay to have doubts
You will often see heroes who have second thoughts, personal doubts, and often refuse to face the challenge at first. This teaches children that it’s okay to be scared or to value the comfort one’s hometown more than an exotic adventure. However, the rest of the story sends a message that overcoming a challenge comes with a great reward.
It’s okay to receive support
Heroes usually have their mentors. This gives children a chance to learn that it’s okay to ask for help and accept support. Perseverance is all about knowing when to give 100% of yourself, when to take a break, and when to share the burden.
Mentors are here to provide the reality check, show the hero how to do things, and applaud the effort.
The luck is ever-changing, but persistence pays off
Heroes in tales deal with various tests before they face the final ordeal. They meet their allies and enemies.
This happens in a child’s everyday life too, but we don’t define those events in such a dramatic way. The child learns that even though their abilities are tested continuously, they gain deeper insight after accomplishing each task.
Every journey comes with a lesson
The outcome of the hero’s journey (be it victory or defeat) doesn’t matter that much. What counts is the fact that, through facing and enduring challenges, the hero transforms and develops. Facing his fears, the hero grows as a person, learns many things, and finds fresh hope.
This helps children learn that being persistent pays off, even when they don’t achieve what they’ve planned. Gaining experience is just as valuable in a child’s life as succeeding.
Planting the seed of perseverance in your child’s mind might seem complicated, but it is rather simple. Just ensure that you are there for them when they fall to validate their emotions and reward their steps forward, no matter how small they are.
If you want your children to listen to you, it’s important to listen to them. If you’re looking for additional motivation, a recent study found that having at least one caring parent was the most important factor in helping kids to build resilience and succeed in school.
Children were six times more likely to overcome challenges and complete their homework if they had a parent who listened to them, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics.
While parents had the greatest influence, other research shows that the presence of any caring adult can increase positive outcomes too.
If you want to help your kids or children in general, work on your listening skills. Try these tips for listening to your child.
Tips for Preparing to Talk with Your Child
You may have to lay some groundwork if you want your child to talk with you more.
Create an environment that encourages heartfelt talks:
Spend time together
Your child will be more likely to come to you with sensitive issues if you nurture a close connection. Block out time each day for family meals and sharing fun activities. Do household chores together and read stories before bedtime.
Tune out distractions
Give your child your full attention when they need to talk. Put away your phone and stop thinking about the office and mortgage payments.
Similarly, you may need to cool off. It’s easy to say things in anger that you’ll regret later. Taking a walk around the block could prevent you from making a harsh comment that could stick with your child for years.
Think positive
Let your child know that you notice the things they do well in addition to the times they mess up. Talk more about making friends and learning and less about grades and unmade beds.
Tips for Listening to Your Child
Anyone can strengthen their attentive listening skills. Those same skills are likely to help you with other relationships too.
Use these strategies to shore up your listening skills:
Focus on interaction
Dialogue moves in two directions. Ensure that you listen at least as much as you speak.
Let go of judgements
Show your child that you love and accept them just as they are. You can validate their experiences even when you disagree with their choices.
Drop your agenda
Encourage your child to develop their own perspective and solve their own dilemmas. Resist the urge to do the work for them.
Address underlying issues
There’s often more to a conversation than what appears on the surface. If you think your child is overreacting or developing unhealthy patterns, you may need to dig deeper or consider family counseling.
Watch your body language
A great deal of communications is non-verbal. Use your facial expressions and gestures to show your child that you’re interested and supportive. Make eye contact and keep your body relaxed and open.
Discuss feelings
Even adults often struggle to identify and share their feelings. The more you work on your own emotional intelligence, the more you can be a role model for understanding and expressing feelings.
Keep practicing
You may find that active listening seems unnatural or complicated at first. However, your abilities will grow over time, and your family life will be enriched just by making the effort.
Help your child to develop healthy self-esteem and communication skills by listening to what they have to say. They’ll have a brighter future, and you’ll both enjoy a closer relationship.
