Recognize When Children Are Stressed and Help Them Manage it

It’s tempting for grown-ups to remember childhood as an idyllic time. Sometimes, we adults think that since children don’t have to worry about paying the bills, keeping a job, cleaning the house, and so forth, they can’t possibly have any problems.

This is a really counterproductive way of thinking, though, because children do get stressed. And they need your help to deal with it.

Children do not have the coping mechanisms, born of experience and maturity than adults do. This is why seemingly small things can be very upsetting to children. So be patient and learn to recognize your kids’ stress and help them cope. Here are some things to look for and some tips on helping them deal with their stress.

Physical Symptoms

Stressed children may exhibit physical symptoms, such as diarrhea, hives or rashes, restless sleep, changes in appetite, and /or nausea.

Emotional Psychological Symptoms

A stressed child may exhibit depression, excessive sensitivity, or social withdrawal. Stressed kids may be aggressive or have angry outbursts.

So if you see these symptoms in your child, what can you do? It’s tempting to do nothing. Parents may think it will go away on its own, or that their child will outgrow it. But stress needs to be confronted and coped with so that it does not become entrenched in your child’s thought and behavior patterns. Here are some things you can do.

Listen

Really listen. You may ask your stressed child what’s wrong, or why he is acting a certain way, and you may not get an answer. Or you get an answer like “Nothing.” But really listening means paying attention to your child’s words and body language even when they don’t know you’re watching. Certainly asking your child what is wrong is a good thing to do; it shows you care.

But don’t interrogate her, or expect your child to be able to verbalize exactly what’s occurring in her life and how it’s affecting her. Even some adults have trouble with this. So try to “read” into the passing comments, complaints, and body language of your child.

Express Empathy

If you express empathy, it shows your child that you do notice and understands. Verbally expressing empathy can also help your child build a vocabulary to explain his stressful feelings. You might say, “I bet it hurts your feelings when people call you names. It hurts mine, too,” and share an experience from your past.

Help Your Child Be Proactive

Work with your child in finding solutions to his stress. Sit down and make lists of things he could do, such as writing a letter to the stress-causing person or cutting back on some of his extra-curricular activities.

Let your child know that she does not have to be doing something 24 hours a day to have personal worth. She has worth because of who she is!

How to Raise an Extrovert Child When You Are an Introvert

Even with all of the rewards and happiness that parenthood provides, it may often leave an introverted parent feeling drained and in desperate need of some time to be alone. This is especially true if you’re an introverted parent trying to raise an extroverted child, who has a need for social interaction that far exceeds your own. Here are some tips for raising an extroverted child when you’re an introverted parent.

Devote Time to Recharge

In order to provide the best care and environment for your extrovert, you need to devote time to unwind and recharge yourself. For many introverts, prolonged periods of social interaction can be daunting and often leads to feeling anxious or stressed out.

If you’re in a bad mood, there’s a good chance that your child will pick up on that. This can lead to your child feeling depressed. They may blame themselves as a result of something that couldn’t possibly be their fault. Schedule an hour out of the day for a break, to process and manage your stress. Explain to your child why it is important for people to recharge their batteries and turn it into a positive experience for them. This will also give your child the opportunity to process their feelings and experiences.

Provide Opportunities for Interaction

It’s important to provide many opportunities for social interaction for your extroverted child. However, that doesn’t mean you have to turn your home into a hangout spot for all of their friends. Schedule social interactions for your child with a wide variety of people. Spend time with family members, schedule play dates with friends from school or take a trip to a public play place where your child can meet new friends.

By establishing interactions outside of the household, you can provide an appropriate level of social interaction for your extrovert while also keeping your personal space. It is recommended, however, that you allow your child to enjoy interactions with their friends in your household on occasion. Even if it’s just once or twice a week, your child will greatly benefit from having a social outlet on a more personal scale.

School Environment for Your Extrovert

Make sure your child is getting an education that properly caters to their extroverted needs. Meet with the school’s staff of teachers and assess what type of classes would be best for your extrovert. Seek out teachers that have a significant amount of practical “fieldwork” in their lesson plans.

The best thing you can do for your child is to get them involved in extracurricular activities, preferably involving groups of people or clubs. This is something that they’ll already be interested in getting involved with. It is a wonderful way for them to socialize and build relationships with like-minded people, as well as learn valuable skills. Discuss what activities your child is interested in – whether it be sports, the chess team or the drama club, and get them involved in as many as you and they can comfortably manage.

As an introverted parent, an extroverted child can sometimes seem like quite a handful. But, even if you aren’t excited about expressing your feelings or meeting new people, it’s important that your kid gets the chance to do so. Every chance that you give them to interact with people will help them to develop their social skills and maybe even earn them a new friend.