Ways to Discipline Ungrateful Children

Almost every child goes through an ungrateful stage (or stages) during childhood. It’s just a part of life, isn’t it? The good news is that when it comes to disciplining our children, it CAN be done. Better yet, it’s so much easier than you think. Here are some gentle ways to whip your kiddos back into shape! (No pun intended LOL)

Point Out the Ungrateful Attitude

Remember that young children, especially, don’t realize that they’re being ungrateful. You have to point these things out to them. Once your child has been appropriately disciplined, talk about some of the things they can be grateful for. Be specific and yet simple. Explain that not everyone is lucky enough to have these things and that it’s not right to take them for granted. Expand on the subject every now and then, just as a gentle reminder. If you want to pack a punch and make this super impactful, consider implementing “volunteer days” in your home. You (or as a family collectively) can choose a specific day once a month or once a week, however often you choose and decide on where you will volunteer your time and efforts as a family. Some ideas to consider are: an animal shelter, a nursing home, a farm, a local park (cleanup, etc), and more! If you need more ideas, don’t hesitate to write in the comments below or shoot me an email. I LOVE volunteering and there’s such a huge need for it.

Make a Deal

First things first, PLEASE don’t beat yourself up for making a “deal” with your child every once in a while. I know that judgy people out there will read this and roll their eyes. But, it’s all good. That’s okay. It’s important to try all the things and do what works best for you and your family.

So, for example, if your child persists in asking you if they can read a book for thirty minutes after bedtime, tell them that you’re willing to make a compromise. Set a timer for 15 minutes instead. This way, everybody is happy.

Stand Your Ground

In the event, your child won’t do as you say when disciplined, stand your ground. If you think you sound like a “broken record” that’s okay too. Really, it is. Sometimes it’s the only thing that works. There’s nothing wrong with being sympathetic and listening to what your child has to say. However, if the discussion comes to the point of standstill, don’t be afraid to end it and walk away firmly. You gotta do what you gotta do. Just saying.

It’s essential to treat your child with respect, even during your most stressful moments. Exhibiting stress allows him to take advantage of the situation and makes things worse, which is exactly the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish here.

Allow Privileges When Earned

At least for the majority of the time, it’s best only to allow privileges when earned. This way, children learn that they need to follow the rules to participate in activities and get rewarded with some of the things they ask for. Always reinforce positive behavior, as well. This is probably my most important and best piece of advice here. This makes children feel good and reminds them that they’re on the right track.

Whatever behavior you enforce and give your attention to, is the behavior you will reinforce. Always focus on the positive.

Giving children toys or other gifts to get them to act less ungratefully just doesn’t work. In fact, it causes more serious problems.

Focus on Helping Others

When you focus more on helping others, you’ll probably find that your child’s self-centered attitude will improve. Of course, this won’t happen overnight. Patience is key here. But, the more helpful children become, the more their outlook on gratefulness changes. As an added benefit, helping others fosters kindness and empathy, as well. Both of these attributes will follow your child to adulthood, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that.

Child development experts tell us that ungrateful children typically don’t grow up to be exceedingly selfish, or greedy. It’s something that most kids grow out of by the age of 8 or 9. So, there’s no need to panic. The best thing to do is to stay as calm as possible when these situations arise. Be firm, and the crisis will pass. Remember, it’s all in a day’s work of a parent.

What Are You Teaching Your Child by Being Inconsistent?

As a parent, it’s important to be as consistent as possible to create a healthy living environment for you and your family. Of course, no plan is perfect, so occasional deviation is certainly permitted. Problems occur when inconsistency becomes more commonplace.

Being inconsistent affects your child in several ways. Also, it teaches him (or her) that inconsistency is perfectly acceptable. This is something that you definitely don’t want to happen. Continue reading to learn more about how children can be affected when there is inconsistency in their lives.

Anxiety and Fear

Many children who don’t have parental consistency at home find themselves dealing with high levels of anxiety and fear. Much of it comes from not knowing the consequences of doing something wrong. Inconsistent rules are like a mystery. A child might expect a particular consequence for one of his actions. When the resulting consequences aren’t as expected, this generally causes anxiety and confusion.

Rebellious Behavior

Rebellious behavior is the result of many things. One of those things is ambivalence. When a parent doesn’t follow through on things or frequently breaks promises, this can result in rebellion. In turn, resistance often leads to parental rejection, and the need for a child to get attention by exhibiting risky behavior as a means to convey feelings of anger and discontent.

Role Reversal

Did you know that being inconsistent sometimes causes a role reversal between parent and child? It’s true! In this situation, the child typically sacrifices his or her own needs and effort to care for the emotional needs of the parent and other siblings, if applicable.

It is not uncommon for children in this setting to nurture parents. The reasoning behind this is to bond with the parent to gain trust and try to settle into an otherwise absent routine.

Insecurity and Confusion

In a home that lacks consistency, a child’s insecurity and confusion surfaces at a very early age. Lack of security in a child’s daily routine can be detrimental. It’s not uncommon for children like this to wonder if their parents will give them emotional support during troubling times.

Even things like mealtime and bedtime can get confusing in a household that has no real schedule. One night dinner may be served at 5 pm and the next night at 8 pm. Children need structure to thrive. Inconsistency and structure go together like oil and water. They don’t mix.

It’s worth mentioning that everyone, adults and children alike, receives inconsistent messages all of the time. The good news is that experts tell us that the human brain is meant to handle complexity. This means that many children do a better job of sorting out these somewhat fuzzy messages better than some people think.

Now that you’ve read the above, you may want to make a few changes. If so, remember that there’s no reason to panic. You probably won’t need to overhaul your parenting methods completely. Depending on your situation, a few “consistency tweaks” will likely be all it takes. Not only will the future be better for your child, but it’ll also be less stressful for you as well.

Moms, Can You Trust Your Parenting Instincts (gut)?

As a parent, there is seemingly no end to the tips and advice you get from guides, parenting gurus or other parents. With words of wisdom so readily available, many parents look to other sources for help over their own parental instincts. Is raising your child best left to the experts or are your parenting instincts trustworthy?

Trust Your Feelings

It’s true that no one knows your kids better than you do, as their parent. When it comes to what they like or what makes them more comfortable, you have a clearer understanding of your children than anyone. Of course, this awareness doesn’t happen right away. You didn’t understand all of your baby’s needs from the moment they were born. But, you have been with them all of their lives, learning what they like, dislike and need. If following the advice of others doesn’t feel right for you or your kids, chances are that it isn’t.

Don’t Take Things Too Far

While going with your gut could be the best thing to do in some situations, it can be easy to rely too heavily on your feelings. Even if you know your kids better than anyone else, everybody makes mistakes. If you listen to your instincts alone every time, it won’t be long before you make a decision that is not the best for you or your kids.

It’s important to take some time to consider each situation and what your instincts are telling you that you should do. Sometimes it can be difficult to see what is best for our kids because our gut wants us to do what makes them happy.

Finding a Medium

In order to avoid investing too much in either the advice of others or our own (sometimes misguided) instincts, it’s important to become accustomed to relying a bit on both. If the advice you hear lines up with what your gut was telling you, it may mean that you were right in the first place.

Other parents don’t know every detail of your own family’s unique situation, but their tips can still bring a fresh perspective. It never hurts to learn a bit about parenting styles or strategies different than your own. But, it’s also up to you to decide which of these will work for your family and which you have a bad feeling about.

While your parenting instincts are by no means fool-proof, it’s important that you take them into consideration when you make decisions that affect you or your family. When it comes down to whether or not a particular parenting strategy will work, there are many important factors that only you could know about.

But, no one is perfect and no parent comes up with the best solution to every one of life’s conundrums. While you can’t always trust your parenting instinct, you should always listen to it and consider what your feelings tell you about a situation. After all, if you can’t trust your own parenting instinct at all, how can you trust the instincts of another parent?