Any parent raising a toddler knows how difficult it can be to maintain good discipline. When you least expect it, your child is likely to throw a tantrum, while you feel helpless.

As a proponent of positive parenting, you are well aware that spanking or any other form of physical punishment isn’t a valid option.

And timeouts might not have a positive effect on your child’s behavior that you hope for. This is no surprise because kids at that age can’t fully grasp the link between their actions and consequences.

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction

Anne Sullivan

If this is our standpoint, why do we still try to punish our kids when they do something wrong? Why don’t we work to understand them, guide them, or offer a good example instead? How do we train our children to adjust well to life, without losing our minds in the process?

Fortunately, you can control your own actions.

Toddlers learn a lot from observing and imitating. You have a chance to be a positive model. All you need to do is be patient with both your child and you.

Consider these alternatives to punishment for young children:

Ask questions

Your child’s misbehavior is here for a reason. Even though toddlers are young, you can talk to them and offer to understand. We often incorrectly assume kids are doing something “bad” when, in fact, they are figuring out how something works.

Seek answers

Ask: “What are you trying to do?” or “Why do you want to do this?” Listen and understand, then correct their behavior by offering the appropriate outlet or information.

Take a break with your child

If you notice your child is having a difficult time or making choices you don’t approve of, go to a quiet space together and take a break.

This will serve as prevention for trouble, so it’s important to do this before things get out of hand. Five minutes of calm conversation, listening, sharing, and considering more appropriate choices for the situation can help.

Give a second chance

A young child that makes a mistake doesn’t deserve punishment. They deserve an opportunity for a do-over.

Let your toddler try to address the problem differently and change their behavior. State clearly what’s not allowed, offer a positive alternative, and ask if they are okay with it.

Use a physical demonstration

Children learn from observation all the time. You are constantly their model, even when you aren’t aware of your own behavior. So, ensure that you are a good model in critical situations.

A toddler might not grasp the connection between their action and your words, but if you demonstrate desirable behavior, they’ll catch up.

Give your child a heads-up

When you’re requesting specific behavior from your child, give them a heads up. For example, instead of asking them to leave the playground at a moment’s notice, tell them you’ll be leaving in five minutes.

A gentle reminder of what you’re expecting them to do is more useful than a punishment afterward.

Read a story

Another creative way to help kids learn how to make better choices is through stories. Read or tell stories that include characters who make mistakes, have strong feelings, or need help. This is also a way of setting a good example using a character that your child can relate to.

Switching from punishment to positive reinforcement is the best thing you can do for your child’s mental health and further development. It does require patience and devotion, but it’s one of the best gifts you can give to your child.

8 Ways to Encourage Your Child To Be Themselves

Every child is unique. Many children are also very self-conscious and unsure of themselves. This can stifle their individuality before it even has a chance to develop.

There is a lot that parents and teachers can do to encourage and motivate a child to be comfortable and aware of their individuality.

Your child has many special qualities. Are you sure you’re aware of all of them?

Here are my favorite ways to encourage my kids to be themselves:

Ask for their opinion and USE it

Kids become more confident when they know their opinion matters. Ask your child if the family should have pizza or hamburgers for dinner. Or where the family should go on vacation (once you’ve narrowed it down). Or which flowers to plant in the flower beds. When they see that their opinion matters, their willingness to express their individuality grows, as well as their confidence!

Be HIGHLY supportive of their interests

Whether it’s dancing, drawing, or basketball, show them that those activities matter because they’re important to your child. Once again, you’re teaching them that their opinion is important. Help your child to be great at what interests them. You’ll foster a deep connection like no other. This might mean helping them to join a team, taking a class, join a club, or get a tutor or coach. They’ll love you for it, and love themselves more, too.

Make a list of your child’s strengths and preferences

Find ways to help your child leverage those things. Combining your child’s strengths and preferences is a great way to ensure success, build confidence, and foster individuality. Foster a growth mindset by focusing on the positive things instead of the negative and using the positive in ways to catapult their success.

Accept your child for what they are

Give up whatever vision you might have of the perfect child. I’m serious. Lose it. You’re not programming a robot. You’re raising a unique, beautiful human being. Encourage their uniqueness and individuality and leave your own preferences (ahem. limiting beliefs) at the door. You can change yourself all you like if you want a project.

Give a lot of freedom when allowing your child to select clothes

Clothing selection is a harmless way for your child to express himself. Meet the school’s dress code, but other than that, get out of the way. If your child likes to wear mismatched socks or colors, so what! Let them be themselves. As long as it won’t hurt you or put your child in any danger, let them take the reigns.

Encourage your child to be assertive

An assertive child is much more likely to express their individuality freely. Help your child to be more assertive and share their opinions and preferences openly. Encourage your child to speak up and give their opinion. Teach your child not to allow themselves to be mistreated. Every child should respect themselves and appreciate their own value. You can help make it so. If you have sons, I’m sure this isn’t an issue for you as society supports boys being confident but encouraging “dangerous” risky behaviors. Oppose to girls, where society and the media suggest they should be cautious, careful, and gentle. Confident kids give themselves permission to be bold, try new things, and express their individuality in ways timid children never will.

Avoid making comparisons

One way to damage your child’s individuality is to make comparisons between your child and others. Comparisons don’t bring about positive results. What one child is or isn’t doing has nothing to do with your child. Comparisons are for buying cars or a new tech gadget.

Show your own individuality, too

Your child knows if you’re holding back. They’re always watching you. Hello, 24/7 tape recorders and sponges! Be brave and show the world who you really are. It starts right at home with your family. Your child will ALWAYS follow your example.

They will always do as you do and almost never as you say

Sheree

It’s an opportunity for you to both grow together. If you lead by example, you inherently give them the okay to be themselves too.

Everyone struggles to feel comfortable enough to be 100% authentic, including adults. The best time to begin creating this comfort is in childhood.

Help your child to show their unique nature to the world. Without a parent’s help, most children fail to develop the courage and comfort to be themselves. There’s much you can do to help your child develop fully.

Calm Mornings Aren’t As Difficult To Achieve As You Think

What are the mornings like at your house? Maybe you’re running late and the kids are cranky. It seems like the more you nag, the slower they move. Do you feel like you’ve put in a full day’s work before you even sit down at your desk?

Imagine how different your life would be if you could stay on schedule and start the day in a happier mood.

Easy Morning Routine for Moms

Simple steps moms can take for a calm morning:

Assess sleep needs

If you and the rest of your family are tired each morning, you’re probably not getting enough sleep. Try an earlier bedtime.

Prepare the night before

Accomplish as much as you can the night before so you’re less rushed in the morning. Pack lunches and confirm that homework assignments are completed. Lay out your children’s clothes and shoes.

Set priorities

Shorten your to-do list. Focus on the essentials and be flexible about the details. Let your kids style their hair their way as long as it’s clean.

Stay organized

Create systems that keep things running smoothly. Post a central calendar. Put out bins where your kids can deposit backpacks and bike helmets when they come in the door.

Budget extra time

Plan for delays. Give yourself 15 more minutes than you need so you’ll arrive at work on time even if you have to look for a missing toy.

Get up first

Enjoy a few minutes of peace before the rest of the family gets up. Taking care of yourself first will make it easier to deal with anything that comes up.
Stay calm. Your children will follow the example you set. Take a deep breath and keep smiling.

Simple Steps Moms Can Take with The Kids:

Focus on connecting

Transitions are especially challenging for children. Pay attention to their feelings so you can be encouraging and supportive. Be patient guiding them through tying shoe laces and pouring milk. Hug them and thank them for their efforts.

Offer choices

Being presented with options is more pleasant than taking orders. Ask your son which shirt he wants to wear. Discuss whether your daughter would rather brush her teeth or comb her hair first.
Share responsibility. Give each family member a chance to weigh in. Assign tasks based on their age and abilities.

Create incentives

Show your kids that good behavior pays off. If you manage to leave the house earlier than planned, stop for hot chocolate on the way to school.

Rehearse your roles

On the other hand, if your system still needs some tweaking, practice your moves at a time when you’re feeling less pressured. Schedule a drill on Saturday afternoon.

Eat breakfast

A nutritious breakfast gives you energy and helps you to think more clearly. If possible, sit down together to share your meal. If that doesn’t work out, prepare something you can eat in the car, like smoothies or bean burritos.

Turn off the TV

Minimize distractions. Keep the TV off and check phones or computers only for necessities like urgent emails or the weather report.

Have fun

While you’re juggling so many different responsibilities, remember to enjoy any hours you spend together as a family. Find something to laugh about or race each other to the car.

Put an end to morning madness

The way your family spends the early hours sets the tone for the rest of the day. Look for ways to simplify your morning routine and let your children know you appreciate their cooperation in getting up and out the door as smoothly as possible.

Your children’s education is incredibly important, and there are so many things to consider when deciding whether or not to homeschool your kids. After all, you want to give your kids the best education that you can.

First-time homeschooling moms- you must remember that you’ll be in charge of academics, physical and social skills, field trips, sports, music, and so much more.

How can you create a well-rounded homeschool program that gives your children the most benefits that you can?

These tips will help you create a successful homeschooling program that works for you and your children:

1. Research homeschooling

Read everything you can about the different curriculums that are available. Talk to other homeschooling parents, as well as their homeschooled kids, and learn from their experience.

If you’re a reader- these books were immensely helpful when I started my journey:

Homeschooling 101: A Guide to Getting Started

The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas: 500+ Fun and Creative Learning Activities for Kids Ages 3-12 

Homeschooling: You CAN Do It!: Eliminate self-doubt and get the clarity, confidence, and skills you need to successfully teach your children from home

101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum

The A+ Homeschool Planner: Plan, Record, and Celebrate Each Child’s Progress 

2. Find out the homeschooling requirements for your area

Homeschooling laws and requirements vary from location to location.

For example, in the United States, each state sets its own requirements for homeschooling. Some states require attendance records, as well as reports and standardized tests. Other states require little. 

Germany and several other countries have completely banned homeschooling. So, be sure to do your research!

An excellent place to start is HSLDA.

HSLDA is a non-profit organization that helps homeschooling families. If your children are under 5, you can obtain a FREE membership! Otherwise, they offer a monthly or yearly membership that is certainly worth it. 

3. Join a local homeschooling group

One of the best places to find out information about homeschooling is from homeschoolers themselves. You will be able to ask them questions, review your practices, and show you what works for them.

You can also learn what age-appropriate activities are available and how the other parents make subjects available to their kids that they don’t have expertise in, such as a foreign language or playing a musical instrument.

Many local homeschooling groups have arranged all sorts of things for the kids, including field trips, sports teams, and even competitions.

4. Decide on a curriculum

There are various places online where you can buy a curriculum to use at home. These will vary from traditional textbooks and workbooks for reading, writing, and arithmetic, to more custom curriculum that is aimed more at your own child’s interests.

For kids in elementary school: These are some of my favorite FREE homeschooling program and curriculum websites:

Easy Peasy All-in-One Homeschool

This is a complete curriculum from Pre-k to High School and is completely FREE. I highly recommend starting here. 

Core Knowledge

This curriculum focuses on the Core Knowledge Series and supports Common Core State Standards.

Khan Academy

This site has over 4600 online videos in all subjects!

There are countless resources available online. However, these are my go-to. You know, the reputable ones that have backed users and an easy to navigate website. (not something that looks like it was designed in the ’90s. Just sayin’) 

5. Create your own space for homeschooling

Where are you going to be schooling your children? Will you be using the kitchen table, or do you have a spare room available for homeschooling? Do you need a blackboard or a desk? What about a computer or space for storage?

Whatever you decide, give yourself permission to make this space your own; One that will be comfortable for your family. I never recommend moms attempt to recreate the school setting in your home. It’s completely unnecessary. Now, by all means, if thats what you fancy, then go for it. However, from what I’ve seen, moms do this to try and recreate the school culture. BUT, this won’t and shouldn’t work. Your home is YOUR HOME, not school, so adapt, test, and find what works!

6. Set specific goals

It is essential when homeschooling to set specific goals. This is because you will likely be moving at a different pace to those in traditional schooling. You’ll want to ensure that your child is learning as much as the other children of the same age.

7. Create your schedule

Once you’ve thought about your child’s goals, it’s time to create a schedule that supports those goals. Make a plan of what subjects you are planning to do each day, and whether there will be any field trips.

Also, include time in your children’s schedule for physical activity, socializing, and making friends. Extracurricular activities are essential. So are social skills.

Networking with other parents will help keep you in the loop about what activities are available for your child.

Even though you’ve made a plan, remember that you’re allowed to be flexible. That’s one of the benefits of homeschooling.

8. Ensure that your child doesn’t become isolated

Spending all day with you may seem like a dream, but your child may think differently. They need friends of their own age, so allow them to be kids too.

Homeschooling isn’t suitable for all children or all parents, but if you are homeschooling, keep these tips in mind when deciding on the best program for your kids.