Staying calm and keeping our cool when kids press our buttons lol is tough. You don’t want to yell or hit them. You want to discipline and teach them in a healthy effective way without losing your mind. It’s simple to manage difficult behavior once you understanding the reason behind them. I’ll share 9 easy ways I stay when my children don’t listen.

Understand The Root of Your Feelings

To get the root of your emotions, you need to ask yourself if and why you’re angry. Is the frustration building from any other area of your life, and you’re reflecting this on your children? If this situation happened three days from now and you were away from your kids, would you feel the same?

Remove Yourself From The Scene

Walk away to cool off. Head to the bathroom, your closet, porch, or backyard and take a 5-minute break to figure out the most effective way to respond versus react. It is possible to calm down without losing your temper.

Scream It Out

If you can’t stop yourself from yelling, feel free to scream into a pillow or head to the bathroom (or any solo room) to close the door and let it out.

Related: How-To End Power Struggles With Children

Visualize Connections

Imagine what you genuinely want your relationship with your child to look like. Now, compare that to how it looks at the moment. Keeping the vision in focus allows us to remember our WHY. To ground us in the midst of frustration. Visualize yourself staying calm with your little one.

Stay Prepared

Create and choose a strategy you’ll use ahead of time to help yourself stay calm during tantrums, etc. It’s not always easy to deal with difficult behavior but it’s definitely possible to be a calm parent if your READY.

Related: How-To Discipline A Difficult Child Without Hitting

Keep A Notebook

Make a habit of jotting down frustrating moments. Then, at another time, look your notes over and allow yourself to free write without judgment. What happened? Why were you feeling this way? Then, move on with your day.

Related: How-To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling

Remember It’s Never About You

When kids are disobedient, it’s almost always a request for help and guidance. More than anything, your child wants (and needs!) you to stay calm to help them healthily solve their problem

Sometimes It IS About YOU

An unconventional statement, but, children are merely mirrors or tape recorders as I jokingly say. They are reflecting your own emotions. Whatever feelings your child is exhibiting, take a quick body scan, and analyze whether you are experiencing those emotions. Then, work on shifting your attitude, and your kid will follow.

Related: Keeping Calm As a Parent

Delay Your Reaction

If you can delay your anger or yelling (even if for just a few minutes)- you’re setting yourself up for success to approach the situation in a calmer way

6 Ways to Teach Empathy to Children

The ability to understand the feelings of others is a core quality that contributes to healthy, prosperous relationships and social connections.

Parents who know how to foster empathy in their children weren’t born with this knowledge – they learned and applied it. And you totally can too! (I know because I’ve done it)

This skill can be tricky to learn, especially for toddlers. However, all of the work and effort you put in to teach this important trait pays off greatly.

The founder of the school of individual psychology said:

Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another

Alfred Adler

Now, I’m sure you have a ton of questions or even hesitations. I know I did:

• When is the right time to start teaching our kids empathy?
• How should we do it?
• Is the occasional lecture about the importance of the skill enough?
• Are there some creative ways to do it?
• Will your child end up overwhelmed by empathy?

Parents who practice conscious parenting-deal with these and many other questions on a daily basis.

Fortunately, even though it is a learned behavior, your child is born with the capacity for empathy. You just have to recognize it and encourage the attitude that cultivates this capacity.

Any parent who is capable of being kind and shows compassion already provides their children with a good foundation of empathy!

Here are 6 ways to teach your child the art of compassion and empathy:

Teach them about emotions

Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, differ, and name various emotions correctly is the key to future empathy. A child cannot empathize with feelings they can’t explain. By pointing out and naming emotions you assume your child is feeling, and the ones you’re feeling as well, you’ll stimulate the development of emotional intelligence.

Model and interpret a variety of feelings

Use everyday situations of observing distress (in real life, books, or on TV) and talk with your child about how the main character of the story could be feeling. Teach them to take a pause and think about other people’s emotions before taking any action.

Inspire curiosity for similarities

Kids feel greater empathy for familiar individuals and people who are more similar to them. Make your children aware of the experiences that they have in common with others. Allow them to meet people from different backgrounds so they can hear their stories and identify with them.

Read TONS of stories and organize role-plays

Empathy is more than just “emotion sharing.” It means taking another person’s perspective as well and trying to walk a mile in their shoes. Fictional stories and real-life narratives offer excellent opportunities for teaching empathy. Discuss the story you are reading with your child and focus on the hero’s emotions. ◦ Simulate common difficulties and life challenges with your children. This way they can perceive how they feel playing the role which will help them understand other people better.

Practice recognizing facial expressions & body language

Being empathic is hard if you can’t read someone’s face. Toddlers often misinterpret facial expressions. Show them pictures of people expressing different emotions and help them name each one of them correctly. Point out facial expressions with toddlers on tv and in real life.

After a conflict, ALWAYS share emotions

Conflicts happen in every family. Maybe you got angry with your child for something they did, or perhaps they got in a fight with their sibling. Once you’ve calmed down after the conflict, talk to your child about everyone’s emotions. This will enhance their empathy and also help them express their feelings more adaptively.

The moment you decide to teach your child empathy, you can be sure that you’re on the right path. Remember, each time you demonstrate empathy on your own, you are one step closer to having an emotionally well-developed child.