moms

  • The part of motherhood I wasn’t prepared for

    The part of motherhood I wasn’t prepared for:

    The part of motherhood I wasn’t prepared for 2

    Speak to any mama about motherhood or any parenting & you’ll pretty much get the gist that they love it. It’s a tough job no doubt, long hours, no monetary pay but we wouldn’t change it for the world! I read every book on the market, a plethora of parenting articles & had countless conversations…but no one it mattered. Well, okay, that’s drastic lol. But seriously, I was NOT prepared for what smacked me in the face! This is a list of what has taken a toll on me personally & has needed the most attention to overcome.

    Sleep

    What does that word even mean?! I prepared myself for sleepness nights but my goodness! In my experiences at least, no matter what age your kid is, you’ll never get proper rest again. Even if you’ve passed the newborn or toddler stage, there is always something to keep you up, Be it a dream, potty calls, or just wanting cuddles. IF they actually sleep soundly-you’ll be up, with a wandering mind.

    woman laying on bed white sheets covering face while raising a white mug

    Judgers

    People will judge you. It’s tough. They will criticize you & many will condemn you if they can. Other peoples thoughts, opinions, or even statements are NONE of your concern. Try your best never to let others negative words fester in your spirit. You can’t please everyone. Someone somewhere will always disagree with you or your decisions. Respectfully, agree to disagree & carry on.

    female no face shown holding a mug with coffee and a silver smart phone

    Marriage

    Your marriage will go through rough patches, be it due to co-sleeping & having a continental divide or Daddy unable to rest after a

    longgg

    day… things will get shaky…hang on tight & be strong! Learning how to live as a family after living as a couple can take some time.

    Guilt

    You’ll go through a considerable A LOT of feelings of guilt. Feelings of unworthiness. Like you aren’t doing a good job or not cut out for motherhood. Get that out of your head right now. You are worthy & called to do this. He who is greater is FOR you & with Him, you are enough.

    Balance

    Managing a home is tough work! We’re constantly playing a balancing act to keep it all together. There will be many great days…but there will also be times it’ll feel like a hot mess & times where it’ll all fall apart. But that’s okay. Rise up & try one more time. Take each day, just a day or a moment at a time. Because your limits will be pushed, Your sanity will be tested & your boundaries will be no more. Remember that family comes first.

    Friendships

    You may become scarce in this department. Friends who you had or thought would stick around may not. The differences in seasons of lives will make friends drift apart. Mothers & wives don’t always have a lot in common with single, child-free women. This was extremely tough for me because although I’m an introvert & never had a crowd of friends, I value relationships dearly…So when I lost touch with that, it was definitely a tough experience to overcome & a hard pill to swallow. But, dear friend- there is hope! These experiences

    will create

    growth in you like you never imagined! When you do make new friends, you’ll appreciate the connection of your newfound relationship as a mother 🙂

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    Loneliness

    Despite being in a household full of children & an amazing husband, well, you will get very lonely. For me, of course, I love my children dearly & I know you do too, but we need interactions & conversations that are much deeper & thought-provoking than the dinner menu or what happened on paw patrol! LOL

    back side view of woman wearing a black and white stripe shirt sitting on bed

    Please tell me I am not alone here?! What about you?

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    prepare for motherhood
    birds eye view of two white coffee mugs and journals
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  • What Causes Emotional Overeating Disorder?

    What Causes Emotional Overeating Disorder?

    Emotional overeating disorders can be difficult and devastating for those who suffer from them. What makes this happen? Why is it that some people, knowingly or unknowingly, turn to food for comfort? Here are some thoughts on those questions. Emotional overeating disorder is a general term that refers to any of various eating habits where genuine hunger is not the motivational factor.

    emotional overeating

    It’s more common among women than men, but men are not immune – especially young men in their teens and twenties. Those who suffer from this disorder associate food with emotional comfort, and will turn to eating to escape negative feelings.

    Past Trauma

    For some with emotional overeating disorder, the problem stems from past traumatic events. Someone who suffered sexual abuse, for example, or some other kind of sexual trauma may overeat in response to feelings of anxiety and confusion. The result is a fatter body, which some sources suggest may cause the sufferer to feel “protected” from being attractive to the opposite sex. Subconsciously or consciously, the sufferer wants to be unattractive. Other examples of past trauma or unmet needs may cause a person to turn to emotional overeating. Have you noticed this within yourself? Or someone you know? When I first learned this, it was a lightbulb moment.

    During my younger years (I feel so old writing it that way) I was abused. And I’ve struggled with emotional eating for what feels like my whole damn life. I’d never connected those dots. Maybe you haven’t either. There’s no rulebook on what this looks like. And if you’re like me, maybe you’ve never looked overweight (keyword look, as many women, especially Latinas can be technically overweight and look amazing) so you think this doesn’t apply to you. Well, let me tell you that that isn’t true.

    I also remember changing my personal style, in an attempt to hide my body. But mostly I ate. I ate ice cream and carbs and then some more. It’s so easy to find comfort in food, isn’t it? It’s delicious, comforting and doesn’t even tell you-you’re well. A well-made meal, dessert or snack will welcome being eaten. As it looks so beautifully prepared ready to make your taste buds dance.

    Poor Self-Image

    People who suffer from low self-esteem and a negative self-image may seek escape by overeating. In a way, emotional overeating is a physical expression of what the sufferer feels inside, and the resulting weight projects the same image of self-disrespect. Ugh. You know this feeling too don’t you? Tell me I’m not alone. You staring at -said- food item and its just staring right back. Tempting you. Laughing. A battle you know you won’t win. So, hell you eat it because you look feel like crap anyway. Gosh, I hate this feeling. Being stuck. Feeling defeated. But you can overcome this. I’ve come such a long way and so can you. Keep reading.

    Self-Medication

    Like alcoholics, those who struggle with emotional overeating may be unconsciously using food as a drug. Eating numbs the emotions that feel be too hard to deal with otherwise. Sigh. Guilty.

    emotional overeating
    • Identify the emotion(s) you’re feeling
    • Write it down
    • Figure out the source. Why are you feeling this way? What’s the experience causing it?
    • Write down everything that can go bad
    • Then write down everything that can go well
    • Finally, make some tea, coffee or chew peppermint (I find it suppresses hunger) & LIG IT. #letitgo
    emotional overeating

    Depression

    Studies indicate a strong correlation between depression and emotional overeating. Ironically, sometimes as depression grows worse a sufferer loses weight; weight loss means the sufferer is not eating as much, and therefore not engaging in his or her coping mechanism. If you’re feeling depressed, obviously I recommend professional help. Seek your people. Those close to you. Ones you love. As comforting as eating can be. Trust me, I know. I know.

    What Causes Emotional Overeating Disorder? 4

    Stress

    Prolonged, unrelieved stress can have a profound effect on the body. Stress stimulates the body to produce, among other chemicals, the hormone cortisol. Cortisol apparently has a hunger-stimulating effect, and as the stressful emotions increase along with the cortisol, a cycle of emotional eating can play out. Find your stressors! I can’t stress this enough. Once you find them, work through the exercise above and work on shifting your mindset.

    Individual Triggers

    There are triggers or causes of emotional overeating that are not necessarily in the categories above. Some examples might be:

    * Boredom

    * Oral need or a need to satisfy your mouth’s need to do something

    * Social pressure or embarrassment at eating in public, resulting in overeating in private

    * Financial stress

    * Relationship difficulties

    Did you discover any aha! moments?

    What Causes Emotional Overeating Disorder? 5
    emotional overeating

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  • 7 Disadvantages to breastfeeding

    7 Disadvantages to breastfeeding

    Are you an expecting mama? If you are, I know you’ve already taken some serious thought about how you’ll be feeding your little one. Bottle or breast? It can be such a heartfelt and controversial topic. There are advantages & disadvantages to breastfeeding. We all know breast is best, but sometimes, circumstances and life can get in the way.

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    As a mama myself, that has resorted to both bottle and breast, I want to provide you with another perspective. We all hear the pros of breast feeding-its good for the baby, helps boost the immune system, it’s natural, it’s free…the whole works. BUT, no one ever really advocates the struggles of breastfeeding! It’s not always easy my friend & here are some reasons breastfeeding may not work for you.

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    Your baby feeds more often

    Because breast milk digests so much faster than formula, your sweet baby will get hungry & feed more often

    You never really know how much milk your little one is getting

    Unless you’re expressing your milk into bottles, your never really have any idea how many ounces your little one is drinking

    You have to mind your diet

    According to countless studies, MOST of what we consume will pass through the breast milk or alter the taste in some way or another…therefore, in an effort to provide our babies with the best quality milk we can, avoid irritations, we must mind our diet and continuously evaluate what we eat. Spices and sweets, for example, can be very irritating to littles digestion and therefore behavior. Colic anyone?

    Unable to take many medications

    Reiterating the above statement, many things pass through our breast milk…because of this, there are LOTS of medications that are just off-limits.

    You may get bitten…A LOT

    Obviously, this one applies to older littles…prepare for this! Ooucchhh

    Some use breast as a pacifier

    Okay, so I rub myself wrong even as I write this because the truth is- the breast was created for food and nurture and not solely as a sexual object. Our babies aren’t using our breasts as pacifiers. Many babies are using plastic as breast. (Please note: I am by no means whatsoever attacking mommas who use them! I’ve used them as well)

    But really, the breast becomes a place of comfort, and it’ll be obvious!

    May suffer from thrush or mastitis at least once

    It is really easy to pass infections when breastfeeding and if you use your boobies to comfort your little one ; ) & forget to release, that could lead to some issues 🙁

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    Despite these disadvantages, I genuinely support breastfeeding and believe it’s worth fighting for! (I know what it’s like to both breastfeed and bottle feed a baby)

    Words can’t express the connection you’ll develop with your baby because of it.

    Stay strong, seek out help, keep trying and let’s support one another no matter how we choose to feed our baby!

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    I want to know, what has your breastfeeding journey looked like? Was it difficult, did it come naturally?

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  • How To Raise Humble Kids (The Right Way)

    The Importance of Humility in Parenting

    Humility is such an important aspect of being human. Even more so in parenting. Many people will tell you that in order to possess humility, you have to possess self-confidence. This is a matter of opinion.

    The definition of humility (according to dictionary.com) is “to be humble” or have a modest opinion about your own self-worth.

    It’s easier to instill than you think.

    Right off the bat, let’s note- no two families are the same.

    When teaching your kids humility, it’s always best to “go with your gut.” That certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t consider the advice of friends and family members, who are always usually more than willing to give it.

    You know your children best.

    child in lying in bed smiling

    Being Thankful

    You have to teach children to be grateful for everything they have. Even the small things. As well as the non-material items like- family. Children need to learn how to say “please” and “thank you” at a very young age. (Obviously) This is of course, is a vital sign of respect.

    child little girl hugging doll

    Being Apologetic

    Being humble means, we’ll need to be apologetic and express empathy. No one is immune from making mistakes. It’s the way of life. But by learning to apologize, children can put aside their pride and also don’t expect any pampering in return. Even if your child is a little wee bit wrong, it’s essential for them to apologize.

    Exhibiting Self-Respect

    We should never expect children to be someone their not. Nor should we ever and I mean never compare them to other children in order to be happy. Everyone deserves the right to feel comfortable by being unique in their own way. Self-respect plays a significant role in this.

    Also, children that learn self-respect will almost always have an easier time valuing others. Kids who are exposed to other nationalities/races & cultures are learning about value, without even realizing it. (yay for travels!)

    Be Helpful

    Being helpful is a trait that everyone should possess. Teaching children to be useful in all types of situations is part of being humble. It can be something as small as opening a door for someone or raking a senior’s leaves.

    Something we all tend to forget: children learn by example. Seriously, they’re walking camcorders. Because of this, it’s so important for parents to lead a life of humility. It won’t do any good to teach these values if we as parents are going to live a different life. Then, what will happen is children will generally be confused and uncertain as to what road they should follow.

    Teaching a child to be humble is free. All it takes is time, love and patience. Of course, children probably won’t learn the idea of humility overnight. But, when properly taught, it’s a trait that they’ll be passing on to their own children & so on, for generations.

    photo of woman holding mug titled 'be humble'

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    What do you think?

    happy woman