moms

  • A Parent’s Guide to Asking Siblings to Babysit

    Older children have been babysitting their siblings for generations. However, it’s a decision that each family needs to make for itself.

    Of course, there are advantages to having a babysitter who knows your house rules and doesn’t need a ride home at the end of the night. On the other hand, keeping your family safe and happy is much more important than any minor convenience.

    Related: How Working Moms Manage Time Like a Pro

    Are you thinking about putting one child in charge of their brothers and sisters? Consider these factors before you make your final decision.

    Asking Your Child to Babysit Their Siblings

    Maryland is currently the only state with a legal minimum age for babysitting. Given that individual children mature at very different rates, parents may be the most reliable judges as to when a child is ready.

    Keep these tips in mind for a successful start:

    Assess the situation

    What’s your child’s track record when it comes to making decisions and following through on commitments? Do your children play well together or bicker much of the time? Plus, if children are close in age, it may be more difficult for one to exert authority.

    Make it optional

    Find out whether your child is interested in babysitting. The arrangement is unlikely to work without their cooperation.

    Set limits

    Any caregiving arrangement has to allow sufficient time for your child’s other activities, including school and socializing. Watch for any signs that they’re becoming overburdened.

    Aim for Consensus

    Discuss your plans with each family member. Ideally, the whole family will be on board. Be open to feedback and try to address any concerns.

    Offer rewards

    Some parents pay children to babysit, and others consider it part of the daily routine. If you’re not exchanging money, you can show your gratitude in other ways like special privileges or a gift.

    Preparing Your Child to Babysit Their Siblings

    The basic principles of babysitting apply whether you’re working with a family member or a professional service. Help your child to succeed in their new role.

    Use these techniques to help prepare your child for babysitting others:

    Start small

    Leave your child in charge for an hour at first. That way, they can practice before they attempt an entire evening.

    Related: End The Power Struggles NOW

    Seek training

    Babysitting classes can help any caregiver feel more competent and confident. Check with your local universities, hospitals, or Red Cross.

    Role play

    You can also teach your children at home. Present them with scenarios like a stranger coming to the door or a fire starting in the kitchen. Let them show you how they’d respond.

    Review expectations

    The process may be more informal when you’re hiring your own child, but they need to take their responsibility seriously. Go over tasks like preparing meals and enforcing bedtimes.

    Discuss discipline

    Think about the consequences for serious misbehavior. You may want to deal with it when you get home or give your child the authority to enforce timeouts or withhold privileges.

    Related: How To Discipline Your Kids

    Ban guests

    Visitors can distract any babysitter from their duties. Let your child know your policy about guests. You may also want to put limits on phone calls and social media if you think your child will have trouble concentrating.

    Provide emergency contacts

    Ensure that your children know what to do in an emergency in case you’re not home. In addition to family fire drills, leave a list of resources they can contact, including a neighbor or relative who lives close by.

    Taking care of siblings can be a useful way for older children to contribute to family life and learn valuable lessons about handling responsibility.

    Related: Prepare for an Emergency

    If your child seems mature and interacts well with their brothers and sisters, you may want to ask them to babysit on a trial basis.

  • Guide To Communicate With Your Baby

    A New Parent’s Guide to Communicating with Your Baby

    Your baby is learning to speak long before they say their first words. Talking with your child and giving them loving attention will strengthen the bond between you and help them to develop academic and communication skills they’ll need later in life. Plus, you’ll both have a lot of fun. A famous study in the 1990s coined the term word gap to describe how children in lower income families hear about 30 million fewer words by the age of 3 compared to their wealthier peers. More recently, a Stanford University study found an intellectual processing gap emerging at around 18 months. Create the word-rich environment your child needs to learn and thrive.

    Try these tips for communicating with your baby.

    Communicating with Babies from Birth to Three Months

    As you know, crying will be your baby’s main way of communicating for a while. While individual timelines vary greatly, many babies start using their voice at about 2 months to coo and gurgle. They may also start making some simple vowel sounds. Use these strategies for greater communication with your infant:

    Use baby talk

    It’s a myth that baby talk will hold your baby back. In fact, babies pay more attention to sing-song style speech with a higher pitch and warmer tone. At the same time, it’s beneficial to gradually introduce them to adult speech too.

    Hold them

    Physical touch is part of communication. Bond with your baby by holding and carrying them.

    Make eye contact

    Looking at your baby shows them that you care enough to pay attention. Even if you don’t understand their message, they’ll appreciate the effort.

    Related: What a Postpartum Mom Really Wants

    Think about body language

    Gestures and facial expressions are a big part of your baby’s communications. Exchange smiles and copy each other’s movements.

    Mimic sounds

    Imitating your baby’s sounds is helpful too. Gurgle back at them and add your own noises to make your chats livelier.

    Start reading

    Begin your storytime traditions with picture books. You may also want to find some titles with sound effects and textures.

    Communicating with Older Babies

    Most babies speak their first words by the end of their first year, and most can understand a few words by the time they reach 9 months. It’s usually not a cause for concern if a baby starts later. Speak with your doctor if you have any questions about your baby’s development and hearing. These techniques will help you communicate with your older baby:

    Narrate your day

    Create more opportunities for your baby to hear your voice by describing your activities. Talk through mealtimes, household tasks, and weekend plans.

    Related: Get Your Baby To Sleep Through The Night!

    Pause often

    Take a break between sentences so your baby can join in with their own remarks. They’ll start to become familiar with the rhythm of two-way conversations.

    Identify objects

    Help your baby to associate names with common objects and people. For instance, point to a cup and slowly say the word.

    Give simple directions

    Your baby can now start to understand some basic commands. Ask them to come to you. Say no firmly when you want them to stop eating the dog’s food.

    Sing favorite songs

    Small children enjoy interactive songs. Share your old favorites like I’m a Little Teacup or The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Create some tunes of your own.

    Match them up

    By the time they reach four months, most babies are ready for some friends their own age in addition to your company. Look for organized groups in your community and stay close by to supervise and provide support.

    Your baby loves it when you to talk with them. Make them happy and encourage their language and social skills by having conversations, reading, singing, and playing games.

    Related: How To Survive Motherhood

  • Find time to read to your kids

    Here are some quick ways you can find more time to read to your children

    My absolute favorite way to spend unplugged time with my kids is to read aloud to them. I’ll confess, part of this is because I LOVE doing the silly voices. haha *Give me all the accents* ! One complaint I hear a lot is that parents can’t seem to find time to read aloud with their kids, especially as the kids get older, or as the number of siblings increases. (Tell me I’m not the only one that read 7,587 books with the first child and 100 with the second??!!) Anyhow, This has been true for me sometimes as well. I’ve found a couple of things that really work when it comes to sneaking in read-aloud time, and maybe they will help you too.

    1. Read during meal times.

    This includes snack time. It won’t work for every meal, of course, but think about it for a minute… your kids are trapped I mean ‘strapped’ or sitting (hopefully lol) in their chairs! You have a captive audience, for the most part, right? This is a great technique when you have several kids of different ages, especially the teeny tiny ones.

    2. Move bedtime up by 15 minutes.

    Say you usually have the lights out by 8:00 pm. (I usually do by 7 pm and if you don’t do this or think its too early, let’s chat about this! Trust me its the best decision you’ll ever make. Ok, moving on) Everyone is rushing to get in bed by 8:00 and then by 8:30 everyone finally IS in bed (you know how it goes), and there is no time for reading. Instead, pretend bedtime is 7:45. Get the kids in PJs and teeth brushed by 7:45. That leaves time for “one more chapter.”

    3. Carry a book everywhere. (yes really. Bonus points if its a paperback)

    Make it a paperback, a suspenseful or funny chapter book. We all find ourselves in moments during the day when we need to keep the kids busy — waiting for big brother at school, picking up take-out, you name it. Pull out the book and divert their attention with a suspenseful tale or funny rhymes and jokes if your little doesn’t favor scary.

    4. Swap television for books once (or more) times a week

    Mama, I know all too well how easy it is to want to grab the remote and flick on the television. BUT, right in that moment…in exhaustion and ease- I want you to try something. Get up, go to a room where you’ll be alone (yes, the bathroom totally qualifies. No judgment here) Remind yourself of these three things:

    1. i love my children and my children adore me
    2. i have no idea who/what i am raising (will my precious baby be an astronaut, doctor, teacher?)
    3. their lives are worth more than the few temporary hours of “relief”…..so i’ll breathe & start again

    What quick tips do you use? How do you find time to read to your children on busy days?

  • 20+ Things You Didn’t Consider When Choosing A Preschool

    What you need to know when choosing a preschool nursery or playgroup

    The time has come, and for whatever reason, you need to enroll your little in school or daycare. Maybe they are of age; perhaps you need some help, some alone time. Maybe your kiddo just needs social interaction. I get it. Trust me; I’ve lived in 5 different countries and over 10 different cities. I’ve had my fair share of searches and experiences. Whatever it is- I’ve been able to come up with a few things to consider when making your choice!

    • Are you and your entire family made to feel welcome?

    Pay close attention to how you are treated by all staff members during your first visit. (everyone from the principal/headteacher to the janitorial staff) Don’t ignore your gut.

    • Are you introduced to all staff members?

    During the tour, you’ll most likely run into all staff (especially if it is unannounced-which I especially recommend). It’s usually a good sign when your tour guide takes the time to introduce everyone and when everyone greets you (even the cleaning staff).

    • Are you given an immediate tour?

    Continuing with the same topic of tours, are you asked to make an appointment or come at another time? This is really huge. You def don’t want a staged viewing if you know what I mean.

    • How does it look? Whether it’s an old room center or fancy building- what has the staff done with the space? Are the children’s artwork displayed? Decorative?

    When you travel, you’ll find that each country operates differently and that some countries have more resources than others. But the most important thing is that the school has made the best of what they have.

    • How proportioned is the size of the room for its occupants? Too crowded? Too empty?

    Take a look at the ratio between staff and children. Does the amount of space they have seem sufficient enough for them?

    • What’s the overall feel?

    Again, paying attention to your gut…What’s your initial reaction of the place?

    • Is the area well-staffed? What is the child to adult ratio?

    Ideally, anywhere between 5/10 children per 1 teacher are good.

    • Is there an outdoor enclosed area where children can play?

    Kids need physical exercise and fresh air, and if the school has some sort of outdoor area, it’s a plus

    • Are there books out in plain sight?

    Self-explanatory here, but again, different countries have different resources, and you want to be sure that your child has access to books (I’m thinking picture books for young kiddos) in any language.

    • Interactive table for hands-on activities?

    Almost every preschool I’ve seen schedules free play/free time for the children. What options do the kids have for this time?

    • What activities are offered? Painting? Water play? Blocks? Puzzles? Dolls? Etc

    Take a good look during your visit and see what the kids have.

    • How do the children look? Excited? Engaged? Mellow? Withdrawn?

    Certainly, don’t overlook this, but at the same time, don’t jump to conclusions. With that said, I’ve seen places where the kids were clearly not being treated well, and the staff didn’t care about them. If you notice negative emotions in the children, glance for possible causes. Was s/he being disobedient? Are they unwell? Etc.

    • Does the place look well maintained? Is it clean? Repairs needed? Paint chipping?

    If you notice paint chipping, cracks in steps etc, consider that it may be an accident waiting to happen.

    • Are the staff giving the children full attention or are they chatting?

    This is important. I’ve personally seen several instances where a daycare spent a load of time chatting and children injured themselves because of it. (No serious injuries thank goodness, but nevertheless, bumps and bruises that should have otherwise been avoided)

    • Ask the staff for their take and procedure for discipline/ dealing with anxious children

    It’s important to note that in today’s day and age, most schools do not use physical discipline with children; however, not all staff may be in agreement or have the experience in dealing with rambunctious kids. I remember a time overseas where a fellow wife had an issue with a staff member hitting her child. It was definitely shocking news, and I suppose an isolated case. I enrolled our little one in a different school in the same country and didn’t have any issues.

    • Does the teacher speak English?

    Even if the teacher will be teaching in the native country language, it’s important that s/he speak English or have a good basic foundation of the language. At the very least, you need someone to understand when your child is hungry, tired, unwell, cold or needs to use the toilet.

    • Are English classes offered to other students?

    This may not always be offered, but many private schools offer English as a second language, and this will be helpful as the other children will be eager to practice this with your child.

    • Look for an atmosphere that’s blossoming. Buzzing with engaged and happy children. But never out of control.

    You want to see that the teachers have everything organized. If there isn’t a schedule, it’s chaotic and not filled with intentional learning. Trust me, this is messy.

    • How safe is your child?

    Find/check all entry and exit points. Ask the staff what’s the procedure/timeline for when the doors will be locked. (Also, check this for yourself) Can anyone just walk through the doors or do they need to be buzzed in?

    • Is transportation offered?

    If so, what are pickup/drop off times? Basic procedures? Driver?

    • Consider the country of residence and educate yourself on views between boys and girls

    To put it bluntly, not every country treats or values each gender the same. Learn the countries beliefs and standards.

    20+ Things You Didn't Consider When Choosing A Preschool 2

    Whoa! I’m sure that was a lot to take in. What are your experiences with searching for preschools?

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