moms

  • Everything You Didn’t Know: Raise Happy, Confident Kids

    Having a child is easy. Raising a child not so much. No job is more important, frustrating, or rewarding than raising a happy, confident, and successful child. 

    Raising happy, capable children is one part science and two parts art. No two children are exactly the same. Each child has his own strengths and weaknesses. Each child has a unique set of challenges. One child might be great at school but struggles socially, while another has plenty of friends but struggles to deal with his emotions.

    So what’s a parent to do?

    Despite these individual differences, there are general principles that apply to us all. The tips in this guide will help you to instill habits and thought processes in your children that lead them toward a happy and fulfilling life.

     It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

    Frederick Douglass

    Decide What Happy, Confident, and Successful Mean to You

    We all hold differing opinions on what success means. Keep in mind that success at one age doesn’t necessarily mean success at another age. You might be pleased with your 6-figure 401(k), but a child would probably prefer to have a loving group of friends. 

    Still, a successful childhood will often translate into easier confidence, happiness, and success as an adult.

    Consider the various parts of a child’s life:

    ‣ School

    ‣ Peers

    ‣ Family life

    A child must also learn how to:

    ‣ Grow their emotional intelligence

    ‣ Set and achieve goals

    ‣ Make decisions

    ‣ Deal with fears and stress appropriately

    ‣ Show kindness

    ‣ Take responsibility for their actions

    Create good habits

    As a parent, you have the most crucial role in teaching these skills to your child. Consider what you believe your children should know to thrive in each part of their life during childhood and beyond. Create your own list and use it to formulate your strategy.

    Determine your responsibilities:

    ‣ Food, clothing, and shelter

    ‣ Love

    ‣ Encouragement

    ‣ Wisdom

    Also, consider where you’ll draw the line. Will you teach your child to stand up to a bully, instruct them to notify the teacher, or take matters into your own hands?

    Some parents believe in taking control of every aspect of their child’s life, while others take an entirely hands-off approach. In the first case, if you do everything for your child, they may struggle to take care of themselves later in life. In the second, they’re likely to feel overwhelmed and fail to thrive.

    Finding the right balance is important. This balance will depend on the individual child.

    Know your child:

    ‣ Intelligence

    ‣ Introvert vs. extrovert

    ‣ Confidence

    ‣ Emotional stability and strength

    ‣ Interests

    ‣ Ability to focus

    A highly intelligent and introverted child will require a different approach than a confident, extroverted child that struggles with school. A child may need limited assistance in some areas while requiring extensive help in others. It’s also possible your child is so gifted in certain areas that they might be able to teach you a thing or two!

    The choices you make as a parent can help or harm your child.

    It’s important to define success, determine your responsibilities, and consider your child’s unique traits.

    All children are born pure egoists. They perceive their needs to the exclusion of all others. Only through socialization do they learn that some forms of gratification must be deferred and others denied

    Andrew Vachss

    Emotional Intelligence

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage the emotions of yourself and others. This might be the most critical skill anyone could ever learn!

    Emotional intelligence is considered to be a much better predictor of success and happiness than IQ.

    Being intelligent isn’t very helpful if you’re unable to deal with yourself and others effectively. You probably know at least one person who is highly intelligent but struggles with life.

    Raise the emotional intelligence of your child:

    Be a good example

    • Your child is always watching you for clues regarding how to behave in different circumstances. Are you being a good role model? If your own emotional intelligence can use a little work, now is the time to get busy.
    • Purchase three books on emotional intelligence and begin to put the ideas into action. By enhancing your own emotional intelligence, you’ll be helping yourself and your child. Set a good example.

    Encourage your child to express his emotions

    • People are separate from their feelings. A person might be feeling anger, but they are not literally “angry.” It’s necessary to make this distinction. When your child expresses his emotions, he can begin the processes of discovering that his emotions are separate entities.
    • Help your child to label emotions when they arise. Address their emotions. “You’re feeling sad because your friend can’t play today.”

    Teach your child to view emotions as a message and deal with them effectively

    • Emotions aren’t an invitation to act out. Emotions can be acknowledged without the need for impulsive action to follow. Help your child learn to tolerate negative emotions and find solutions when appropriate.

    Praise your child when they show emotional intelligence

    • Whenever your child demonstrates self-control or other appropriate emotional behavior, point it out and compliment them for their successful effort.

    Share your own emotions with your child

    • Tell your child that you’re disappointed that your favorite TV show was cancelled or that you’re upset that your sister is ill. Explain how that emotion feels to you.

    Point out emotions in others

    • Point out the angry man in the grocery store or the happiness in a sibling. Recognizing emotions in others takes practice. Fortunately, there are people experiencing emotions everywhere. Make a game out of it.

    Teach your child how to calm down

    • Lead your child by asking appropriate questions:
    1. Do you think you need a few minutes of quiet time to calm down?
    2. Since you’re getting upset, let’s take a few deep breaths and relax until you feel calm again.
    3. What will help you to feel more calm and relaxed?

    Teach your child positive self-talk

    • Give your child examples of positive self-talk when negative emotions occur.

    “When you’re feeling uncertain, say to yourself, ‘I’m a big girl, and I can handle this.'”

    Emotional intelligence is an integral part of happiness, confidence, and success. The best way to instill emotional intelligence in your child is to demonstrate it each day. Build your own emotional intelligence and take the necessary steps to accomplish the same in your child. 

    Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent

    Bob Keeshan

    Building Social Skills in Your Child

    A child without friends feels alone and unwanted, no matter how much love and attention you shower upon them. In many ways, a child with a high level of social intelligence will be ahead of the game, but there are skills specific to making and keeping friends that everyone needs to learn to have a healthy social life.

    Your child’s social skills are critical to their happiness and confidence:

    Teach your child to maintain eye contact

    • When your child is talking to you or to others, encourage eye contact. You can even have a staring contest with your child. Explain to them that eye contact demonstrates that they are listening and paying attention.

    Teach your child to be kind

    • Explain to your child that other children are more likely to like them if they are nice. Teach your child to show kindness in both their actions and their words.

    Give your child opportunities to practice their social skills

    • Encourage them to invite other children over to the house. Set up playdates. Have them speak to the next-door neighbor. Encourage your child to develop new friendships.

    Use your child’s interests

    If your child loves baseball, sign him up for a baseball team. Children are much more likely to be excited and sociable while taking part in an activity that they love.

    Ask your child’s teacher for advice and information

    It’s hard to have an accurate picture of how your child is doing socially at school. Ask your child’s teachers about your child’s social skills. If your child is young enough, you can probably volunteer to be a helper in the classroom. That way, you’ll be able to assess the situation first-hand.

    Teach your child to take turns

    Few things get children upset quicker than a lack of fairness. Children instinctively know when a situation is unfair. Teach your child to share and take turns.

    Teach your child how to introduce themselves

    This is very stressful for many children, and more than a few adults! There are people everywhere just waiting to be your practice dummies. Show your child how to introduce themselves and give them plenty of practice.

    Teach your child to apologize when necessary

    We all make mistakes. The solution is to apologize and move on. Most children are very forgiving when presented with a quick apology.

    Basic social skills are necessary to be part of the world. The better your child’s social skills, the more they’ll be able to enjoy the company of others. Think about the people you know with poor social skills. You want something better for your child. Adults with poor social skills have habits that are challenging to overcome. Teach your child good social skills early in life.

    Without education, your children can never really meet the challenges they will face. So it’s essential to give children education and explain that they should play a role for their country

    Nelson Mandela

    Academic Success

    Success at school increases confidence and provides for a greater number of opportunities later in life. Children with good grades and study skills can choose from a wider variety of colleges and career choices than those with limited academic success. With the proper habits, most children can navigate the academic demands of school successfully.

    Teach your child to be an excellent student:

    Motivate your child

    You can’t expect your child to do well if they don’t care. The best way to get them to care is to show them that school is a priority.

    • Ask your child about school.
    • Give praise for grades.
    • Show concern and give help when they’re struggling.
    • Explain to them the importance of good grades.

    Require your child to read

    Children that read- do better in school. Set aside at least 15 minutes each day for reading time. Your local library will have reading programs all year round with recommended reading lists for children. 

    Be involved at your child’s school

    When you make time for your child’s school activities, you show your interest.

    • Volunteer for parent-teacher organizations
    • Go to all parent-teacher conferences
    • Attend school functions
    • Volunteer for school events
    • Attend school board meetings
    • Chaperone field trips

    Have homework expectations

    Set aside a certain time each night for homework. The time is up to you, but be consistent. Teach your child that homework is to be completed each day, no matter what.

    Put your child to bed on time

    Does your child sleep much longer on the weekends? If so, they most likely need to go to bed earlier during the week. A well-rested child will have better focus, be in a better mood, and perform at a higher level.

    • Experiment with different bedtimes and stick with what works. If your child struggles to get up in the morning, try sending them to bed 15 minutes earlier.

    Feed them a nutritious breakfast

    Kids need something to eat in the morning. Younger children sleep for a longer period of time and might not get a chance to eat again until noon. Make a good breakfast part of your child’s morning routine. This also means your child will have to get up on time.

    Teach study skills

    No one knows how to study without initial guidance. Help your child to study for tests. Get started early and teach your child how to get organized. Memorization skills are also necessary.

    Academic success can provide a tremendous amount of confidence and self-esteem. Show your child that their education is important to you. Explain how good grades will help them later in life. Teach the study skills and habits that your child will need for ongoing success in school and in life.

    Get involved at your child’s school. There are plenty of opportunities for a motivated parent.

    Teach love, generosity, good manners, and some of that will drift from the classroom to the home, and who knows, the children will be educating the parents

    Roger Moore

    Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

    Any child with social intelligence, social skills, and good grades will feel proud and confident. There are additional things you can do to make your child even more confident and happy. Children that are happy and confident are more successful and a joy to be around!

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    Increase your child’s self-confidence:

    Create opportunities for success

    Ask your child to do things you know they can accomplish. For a young child, this might be putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. An older child would require a more challenging task.

    Allow your child to make decisions

    Children feel more confident and like they have more control in their life when they can make decisions.

    • Once a week, let your child choose the dinner menu, with the caveat that the meal must be healthy.
    • Allow your child to choose the route home from the store or school.
    • Let them choose their clothes for the day. (You might want to provide three outfits and give your child a choice from those three options.)

    Encourage them to resolve their challenges

    If they complain that they’re bored, ask what they could do so they wouldn’t be bored. When a child is able to solve their own problems, their confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.

    Provide opportunities to be helpful

    When we do things to benefit others, we feel better about ourselves. 

    • Give your child a helpful task to accomplish. It might be putting away the clean forks and spoons or filling the dog’s water bowl. Every child should have a few responsibilities around the house.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/8-steps-to-help-your-child-with-self-esteem

    Teach your children to trust themselves

    Encourage them to make their own decisions. Some of them may be wrong, but then you’re presented with the opportunity to help them learn how to fix mistakes. 

    • A child that isn’t afraid of making mistakes is highly confident.

    Ask your child to list their accomplishments for the day

    Teach them the habit of focusing on the positive. A few possible accomplishments might be:

    • Getting an A on a spelling test
    • Cleaning up their room
    • Eating their vegetables
    • Completing their homework
    • Reading a book
    • Playing well with their little brother
    • Giving themselves a bath

    Be confident yourself

    Show your child what real self-confidence looks like. Children model your behaviors.

    Give sincere compliments

    Kids know when you’re throwing meaningless drivel at them. Avoid telling your son that he’s a great basketball player if he’s the worst on the team. Dig deep and give your child a sincere compliment.

    Avoid putting an emphasis on perfection

    Expecting perfection creates a child that’s afraid to even try. Nothing is perfect and a goal of perfection is self-defeating. There are times you can “improve” your child’s result, but sometimes it’s best to allow your child’s results to stand on their own.

    Avoid leaving your child’s confidence and self-esteem to chance

    There are many simple and easy ways to grow your child’s sense of self-worth and increase his ability to tackle the world with confidence. A little time and effort each day can make a huge difference.

    Motherhood has taught me the meaning of living in the moment and being at peace. Children don’t think about yesterday, and they don’t think about tomorrow. They just exist in the moment

    Jessalyn Gilsig

    Dealing with Failure

    Failure is a part of life. No one can be perfect 100% of the time. Failure isn’t fatal, but many adults view it as something to avoid. Teach your child that failure is a part of life; it’s only a temporary condition and can lead you to success. A child that deals effectively with failure is equipped to deal with the world successfully.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/boostkidsconfidence

    Make your child resistant to the potential pitfalls of failure:

    Failure is a learning opportunity

    When we fail, we learn that our approach wasn’t the best choice. Explain to your child that failing means you need to try again with a new approach. Most kids readily accept this fact.

    Failure isn’t personal

    Failure says nothing about the person that “failed.” Failure is the result of a behavior. Failing doesn’t mean that a person isn’t capable, smart, or a good person.

    Tell your child about a time you failed, but were ultimately successful

    Share a story about your own failure and show your child that failure happens to everyone. More importantly, tell your child how you overcame your failure and experienced success at the end.

    Teach your child that persistence is important

    With enough persistence, any failure can be overcome. It’s important to try again.

    • If you think about the adults you know that struggle in life, you’ll find that they’re not persistent in their efforts. Teach this fact to your child.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/teachkidsresilience

    You won’t always get what you want

    Life can be disappointing. You can’t hit every shot or get every question on a test correct every time. Some “failures” can’t be undone, but life must go on. Failure can be an opportunity to deal with disappointment.

    • disappointment occurs throughout life. We don’t get the job we want. Our offer for a Saturday night date is refused. But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

    Success can be more meaningful when you’ve been forced to deal with failure

    Allow your child to experience success after initial failure. This means you’ll have to encourage your child to continue trying after failing. When they’re successful, point out how good they feel. Success is rewarding.

    Dealing with failure is a part of life

    When a child is able to deal with failure effectively, he loses his fear of failure. Most adults never learned to embrace failure and make every effort to avoid situations that might result in failure. True success can never be achieved if you’re limited by a fear of failing.

    It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phones. Children are nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when parents used to read to them without the cell phone by their side

    Sherry Turkle

    Teach Your Child to Set and Achieve Goals

    We all know the power of setting goals. Instill the habit of setting goals in your child, and they’ll be much more successful in life. By developing the habit at a young age, setting goals will be automatic later in life.

    When children make decisions and are successful, they’re happier and more confident! Just like any adult.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/simple-positive-parenting-hacks-to-help-your-kids-thrive

    Setting goals is a valuable skill at any age:

    Start small

    Before beginning any task, ask your child what the goal is.

    • Make my room clean
    • Get an “A” on my vocabulary test
    • Organize my books
    • Finish reading this book

    Ensure that your child is successful

    If the goal is to finish the book, make sure the book gets read. Help her study for her vocabulary test.

    • Most of us are good at setting goals and making plans. It’s the execution that’s challenging. Teach your child to complete what they start.

    Set goals together for the week

    Share some of your goals and encourage your child to set some goals. The goals could be nearly anything.

    • Go to see a movie
    • Go to bed by 8:00 every night
    • Ask said friend to spend the night

    Share some of your own goals, such as cleaning out the garage, paying the bills, or washing the car.

    Sit down together each night and review your collective progress

    Make plans to achieve your goals. Teach the habit of regularly reviewing your goals each day.

    Set multi-step goals

    It’s easy to get in the car and drive to McDonald’s, but that’s okay. Small goals count, too. Encourage your child to set one goal that will take a few weeks of effort. It might be learning a piece of music on the piano or earning $25 by the end of the month doing jobs around the house.

    • Choose a goal that will require consistent effort and track your child’s progress. The discipline needed to achieve a bigger goal creates a bigger thrill. It’s also great practice for the future.
    • Be sure to set a deadline. A goal without a deadline is rarely achieved.

    Even younger, school-aged children can set and achieve goals

    The quality of the goal isn’t as important as developing the habit of setting goals. We tend to carry habits throughout our lives. Teach your child to set, review, and achieve goals now. The success and control over life your child will experience will make him happy and confident.

    Raising children uses every bit of your being – your heart, your time, your patience, your foresight, your intuition to protect them, and you have to use all of this while trying to figure out how to discipline them

    Nicole Ari Parker

    Dealing with Fears

    Even adults have fears. We’re all afraid of the proverbial “monster under the bed.” Dealing with fear effectively can make a child more confident and secure. Feeling afraid is common at any age. 

    How a person deals with fear can influence his confidence and happiness.

    Help your child learn to manage their fears effectively with these tricks:

    Share your own fears as a child

    Whether you were afraid of the dark or the life-sized teddy bear in your closet, tell your child about your fear. Then share how you were able to overcome it. Teach your child that it’s natural to be afraid and that it happens to everyone at every age.

    Teach your child about being brave

    Many kids believe that being brave means, you’re not afraid. But bravery is the act of facing your fears. Encourage your child to be brave. Fear and avoidance are something we do. Being brave is also something we can do.

    Avoid books, movies, and television programs with characters that you know will cause your child to feel fear.

    If your child is terrified of wolves, it doesn’t make sense to read the “Three Little Pigs” to them.

    • Explain the difference between fantasy and reality to your child.

    Avoid embarrassing your child

    The worst thing you can do to a fearful child is to tell them to stop being a baby. The last thing a fearful child needs is to start believing that he is unloved. Your own fears aren’t any more realistic 99% of the time.

    Ask your child to come up with solutions

    Only they know what will make them feel better. A nightlight or five minutes snuggling in bed shouldn’t be an issue for any parent. You might even enjoy it.

    Who isn’t afraid? Our fears limit us and rob us of confidence. Be supportive, seek solutions, and admit your own childhood fears. Show your child that feeling fear is natural, but that they can also take action to minimize this fear.

    Among the other values children should be taught are respect for others, beginning with the child’s own parents and family; respect for the symbols of faith and the patriotic beliefs of others; respect for law and order; respect for the property of others; respect for authority

    James E. Faust

    Children require a lot of work and attention to reach their potential. 

    Anyone can raise happy and confident children, but it’s unlikely to happen without time and effort. 

    Remember that each child is an individual. No single method will work in all situations. Take into account your child’s unique characteristics before developing your plan.

    Address all aspects of your child’s life – school, peers, and family life. They need to experience some level of success in all facets in order for their confidence and happiness to grow.

    Being a parent is hard work, but seeing your child thrive is one of life’s greatest satisfactions.

  • How Working Moms Manage Time Like a Pro

    Because you’re a working mom, you know how tough it can be to get everything done and still have time for yourself and your family. 

    A mother is she who can take the place of all
    others but whose place no one else can take

    Cardinal Mermillod 

    In addition to spending time with your children, your kid’s extracurricular activities, meal planning and preparation, and keeping your home clean and organized, you’ve still got to be conscientious about your job. Plus, in the midst of all this, you need to allow yourself time to get proper rest and sleep, too.

    When you have so many roles to play, you’ve got to be on top of it at all times. But that seems impossible sometimes, doesn’t it? I’m going to give you plenty of tips to help you have time for all these important things in your busy life. 

    How To Get Out of The House

    Perhaps one of the most hectic times of your workdays is the morning when you’re getting ready for work while trying to get your family ready for their day as well. Having an efficient morning routine helps your entire family and starts the day out on a positive note.

    tips for working moms balancing work and family and kids

    Preparing for Work

    The more organized you are as you dress for work, the more time you’ll save to do other things – like getting your family out the door on time. 

    Tips to streamline your routine:

    1. Wear easy-care clothing to work. Buy work clothing that’s made from wash and wear fabrics. Work clothes that can be tossed in the washer and dryer and then hung up right away will save you loads of time you would have otherwise spent running to and from the dry cleaners or ironing every week.
    2. Have an area in your closet specifically for work clothes. This way, you spend virtually no time looking through your closet wondering what on earth you’ll wear to work that day. Whether it’s the left side of your closet or the back corner, organize your work clothing to minimize time spent selecting your outfit for the day.

    Hanging your work clothes by clothing type – such as all the slacks, then the skirts, blouses, tees, then blazers, and finally dresses – will show you at a glance exactly what you have to choose from.

    If you then organize within each clothing category by color, the time you save getting dressed for work will be tremendous. Getting dressed in the morning will be quick and easy. You’ll grab, dress and go in just minutes. (a bit OCD much? lol I am & there’s so much more where that came from!)

    1. Organize your shoes. Make it even easier on yourself by organizing your shoes. You’ll no longer have to spend valuable moments running through the house in the morning, checking your watch while wondering where you left your navy heels!

    There’s a number of inexpensive ways to organize shoes. Visit your local discount store to see whether you want shoe racks or a large shoe “garage.” Once you decide on the method, arrange them by color or work versus casual shoes.

    1. Designate a space to store work-related items. Whether it’s your briefcase, a folder you brought home for review, your laptop, or job-related tools, have a specific place where you’ll deposit those items when you arrive home. You’ll always know where they are when you need them.

    Plus, as you leave the house in the morning, you know just where to go to grab your stuff. If you’ve got a desk area, great. Maybe you’ve got a bench by the door where you can place your briefcase. Having a designated area means you’ll never have to spend time looking everywhere for that folder you brought home. Now that’s a time saver!

    Buying easy-care work clothing, preparing your closet to quickly access your clothing and shoes, and having space at home to keep your work supplies will help you streamline your getting-ready-for-work routine. You’ll enjoy calmer mornings and more time to deal with kids and home tasks when you take these steps to be more efficient and organized.

    Helping Your Family Prepare for Their Day

    Now that you have a time-saving routine for getting ready for work, let’s look at some tips to help your family get ready and out the door with less chaos.

    These suggestions will help your family establish an efficient morning routine:

    1. Make lunches the night before. Label each bag with the name of whoever’s lunch it is. In the morning, it will be a cinch for everyone to just grab their lunch out of the fridge on their way out the door.
    2. Have your kids pick out their clothes ahead of time. Especially if you have teenagers, planning out their wardrobe the night before (or even on the weekend for the next week) saves a lot of valuable time in the mornings. For the younger ones, laying out their clothes the night before helps them get dressed in record time.
    3. Sign papers and put backpacks by the door. Make it part of your child’s homework to give you all the papers that need to be signed and pack everything up that they’ll need for the next day. Then, put their backpack in a designated spot near the door for an easy morning getaway.
    4. Enjoy your breakfast together. Wake up to coffee and breakfast already made. Set your coffeemaker and put the ingredients for hot cereal, like oatmeal or malt-o-meal, in your Crockpot and turn it on before you go to bed. Add some fresh fruit and juice and you have a delicious, ready-made breakfast to enjoy with your family before you leave for your day.
    5. Add 15 minutes to your morning. Setting the bedside alarms for 15 minutes earlier can give you and your family that little bit of extra time you may need to bring peace to your mornings.

    A psychological trick is to set these clocks 10 or 15 minutes ahead of real-time. Even though you know they’re set differently, it often helps to get you moving a little earlier.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/the-importance-of-a-daily-routine

    These tips will help you and your family start out the day in a happy, positive frame of mind. It’s amazing what a difference an organized routine in the morning can make for your whole day.

    Crises are averted and everyone can get where they need to be on time without feeling rushed.

    Adapting these tips into your routine may take some doing at first, but once you and your family turn them into habits, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner!

    It only takes 21 days in a row to form a habit – start now and, by this time next month, crazy, chaotic mornings will be a thing of the past.

    I go work as hard as I can then I go home and live my life

    Kate Hudson

    Managing Time with Your Children

    It’s mind-boggling how easy it is to sometimes lose sight of your priorities in life due to the pressures of time. Learning to more efficiently manage your time means you’ll be able to carve out time for the most important stuff, like your kids.

    Use these strategies to manage time with your children:

    1. Establish time for your child(ren) every single day. It may sound tough, but once you figure out when you’ll do it, you’ll feel great about your day. Even if it’s the 15 minutes in the morning you drive your teen to school, make it a quality time when you really listen and communicate well.

    Consider the times during the day when you and your children are at home together. Maybe it’s that 30 minutes in the kitchen once you get dinner in the oven. You can both have a cold beverage and share your days. Set aside these times for your kids. Spending special moments with your kids each day is the result of effective time management.

    1. Bring stability to your schedules by insisting everyone be present for dinner. Not only does it help your time management, but also some of the most cherished memories of your kids’ childhood are made right there with the quality time you spend together at the dinner table.

    You all have to eat anyway, why not dine together? Use dinner time to listen to what your kids have to say about school, their friends, their music, and anything else they’re interested in.

    Dinner time is a gold mine in terms of spending time with your kids.

    1. Set limits and briefly explain. When you feel your kids are encroaching on your “getting ready for work time” in the mornings, have a brief, frank discussion with them. Say something like, “I see that you want me to help you choose your outfit, Susie, but I’ve got to get ready for work. How about I come in to help you in 10 minutes?”

    If Susie often interrupts you in the mornings, think about helping her select her outfit the evening before so the morning goes more smoothly. Once you set limits to help her in the evenings and not allow her to consistently interrupt your own routine, she’ll learn to develop a routine also. You’ll both save time.

    1. Distinguish between attention-seeking and needing help. Learn to determine when kids are seeking attention versus actually requiring your assistance. If the behavior is repetitious, it’s a clue the child is attention-seeking and you’ll want to set some limits.

    If your child is displaying annoying, disruptive behaviors particularly in the mornings, evaluate whether you’re spending some quality time each day with the child. If you are, most likely they won’t feel the need to engage in disruptive, attention-seeking behaviors.

    In the long run, spending quality time daily with your kids will save you time in your busy, chaotic day and help to quell kids’ attention-seeking behaviors.

    1. Take turns with your spouse. Take turns getting the kids ready in the mornings and prepped for bed at night. Sharing these chores is a great method for each parent to discover more time with their kids in their busy days.
    2. Be honest with your kids about time. When you need to get something done, tell your kids. “I have to work for about an hour on a report. Then we’ll take a bike ride.” Estimate a time you’ll be done so they know you’re planning to spend time with them. 

    You’ll want to learn to tell the difference between kids actually needing your help versus seeking your attention. Take turns and honestly tell your kids if you need time to complete a task. When you do all these things, you’ll have happy kids, a calmer, more balanced life, and time to spare.

    My normal day is, I get up with the kids, take them to school,
    a few days a week I might do Pilates, reading, meetings,
    and then we always do family dinner at 6:30

    Demi Moore

    Related: darlingsteps.com/household-hacks-to-save-time-and-money

    Making Time to Take Part in Your Kids’ Extracurricular Activities

    An important aspect of your child’s childhood is taking part in extracurricular activities. 

    Whether your child wants to be in chess club, play softball or be on the soccer team, when you show up at his events you strengthen his self-esteem and continued activity involvement. Your child will feel emotionally supported and loved when you attend these events. 

    How can you manage your time to be there for extracurricular activities?

    1. Always have a Plan B. Maybe you planned to review a report at home this evening. But when you got home, you found out your daughter has a soccer game. What will you do?

    One option is to take the file with you to the soccer game. During time-outs or times your daughter isn’t in the game, look over your report. 

    1. Think about how to utilize time normally spent waiting at your kids’ events. If you make it a point to carry your folder or your smartphone with files, the time you spend waiting for your kid’s part in the event can be smartly spent getting other tasks accomplished.

    Rather than experiencing moments of sitting and waiting, read a page of a report or check subtractions in your checkbook.

    1. If necessary, alternate extracurricular activity attendance with your spouse. Work it out with your spouse to ensure at least one of you shows up at your kids’ activities. This way, a parent is always there to support your child and both parents will know how the child is doing in the sport/activity. You can all talk together about the activity at dinner time.

    When you have a Plan B, make use of downtime while at your children’s extracurricular activities, and trade-off attending children’s activities with your spouse, you’ll find you can balance attending your children’s activities with the rest of your life.

    Family is the most important thing.
    Your career has to come second

    Jennifer Lopez

    Managing Meal Planning

    One of the most repetitive aspects of your life is meal planning. It just gets old, always trying to figure out what’s for dinner. However, there are some things you can do to save time when it comes to meal planning and preparation. 

    What if you had a “go-to list” of meals with the main ingredients listed for each one? Although setting up your initial list will take a bit of time, you’ll have dinner figured out from here on out and your meal planning will be streamlined. Practice the following strategies to save minutes and worry regarding planning healthful meals for your family.

    Developing a Meal Plan  

    Having a meal plan means you’ll never have to spend time thinking too long about what’s for dinner. Plus, your list will include the main grocery items you need to prepare the meal. 

    It’s best to have about 10 meals on your meal plan/list. On the weekends when you have more time, you can prepare more elaborate meals, if you wish. Your meal planner will include complete dinners on the left side with the store list to make those dinners on the right side of the paper so you’ll quickly know the main ingredients to get at the grocery store. 

    Keep staples for the meals in your cabinet since you know you’ll be preparing them periodically. 

    Sample Meal Plan

    Here’s a common ridiculously simple meal planner with 5 meals to inspire you:

    Meals Grocery Items Needed
    Turkey or Chicken Hot Dogs Macaroni and Cheese Peas Baby Carrots or Celery Sticks Instant Pudding
    Hot dogs Mac and Cheese Boxed Mix Frozen Peas Fresh carrots/celery Instant pudding mix
    Cheeseburgers Broccoli Cole Slaw Fresh fruit—oranges, strawberries or bananas
    Lean hamburger, cheese, buns Broccoli Cole slaw mix, salad dressing Fresh fruit 
    Baked Chicken Breasts   Mashed Potatoes Green Beans Wheat Rolls Jell-O
    Chicken breast, can of chicken soup Potatoes, butter, milk Fresh/frozen green beans Fresh/frozen rolls Jell-O mix
    Chili Crackers Lettuce Salad Frozen Yogurt
    Beans, hamburger, tomatoes, onion Crackers Lettuce, cheese, salad dressing Frozen Yogurt
    Spaghetti & Meatballs Garden Salad Ice Cream Bars
    Spaghetti, sauce, hamburger Loaf Italian bread, fresh garlic Lettuce and vegetables of your liking Ice Cream Bars

    How to Put Your Meal Planner to Proper Use

    To make good use of your meal planners, practice these strategies:

    1. Place copies of your meal planner schedule everywhere. Once you develop your list, place a copy in your car, briefcase, kitchen, and purse or wallet.
    2. Share the planner with your spouse. Give copies of your list to your spouse. If he makes a grocery store run or takes a turn preparing meals, he can refer to the list.
    3. Make your meal plans durable. You might want to laminate the planner copy you put in your car. If you prefer, drop copies of your list into those plastic sleeves to protect them.
    4. Store it on your computer and your smartphone. If you store your list on your computer and smartphone, you’ll be able to quickly access it to select which meal to prepare.
    5. Consult your list when you’re grocery shopping. During your weekly shopping, buy enough food for the meals you plan to eat at home that week. 

    For best results, vary your meals from time to time or put plenty of quick-fix meals on it to choose from, so you don’t have to repeat each meal too often.

    With a meal planners, you’ll never have to obsess about what’s for dinner again and you’ll save time and energy. Just glance at your list and choose a meal you know your family enjoys that you can easily prepare. It’s the ultimate time-saver!

    I don’t think you ever feel you’re balancing anything. My kids are great, and I have a good husband. You’ve just got to keep everything in the air

    Brooke Shields

    Time-Saving Meal Preparation

    Now that you know what you’ll be cooking, all you have to do is ensure you’ve got all the ingredients to prepare the meal and put the meal together. 

    1. Double duty. Use time spent preparing meals to connect with your spouse. If both of you prepare dinner, you’ll save time, plus you’ll get to spend some time together. You cook the spaghetti and sauce while your partner sets the table and makes the salad.
    2. Triple duty. If your kids are old enough to join you in preparing the meals, make it a trifecta! You’ll spend some great quality time preparing the meals as well as dining together. You can make the salad while your spouse makes the chili. The kids can set the table and get out the crackers and salad dressing.
    1. Plan ahead. While you’re making this evening’s dinner, make up the Jell-O for tomorrow night and stick it in the refrigerator. You can even make enough salad today for two meals: today’s dinner and tomorrow’s dinner. You’ll save on time tomorrow by putting in just a couple of minutes’ efforts today. 
    1. Make twice the amount you need; freeze the rest. Using your freezer is a wonderful time-saver. Cook enough spaghetti, chili, or chicken casserole for two meals and freeze the second meal. Down the road, all you’ll have to do is defrost and heat the food to have a great, quick home-cooked meal. You’ll be more relaxed and have more time to spend as you like.

    Meal preparation doesn’t have to take hours every day. Apply some of the above strategies to accomplish other goals while cooking. Whether it’s spending time with your spouse, visiting with your kids, planning ahead, or preparing food for two meals at once, quelling the chaos by using these strategies will ultimately help you save a lot of time and help you achieve balance. 

    I was brought up to believe I could do anything I wanted professionally and, of course, be a mother at the same time. But I’m finding out that it’s complicated. It requires a lot of thought and planning and I haven’t figured it out yet

    Maggie Gyllenhaal

    Housekeeping

    Nothing throws a wrench in your time management like keeping your home clean and in good order. However, having a workable plan for organizing your housekeeping chores will help tremendously.

    Try these strategies to save time on keeping your home clean:

    1. Daily cleaning and organizing. For 15 or 20 minutes each day, either in the mornings before work or when you get home, grab a dust cloth and dust a room or two.

    Set a timer for 15 minutes and pick up items and put them away until the timer sounds. Straighten magazines and fluff pillows.

    1. Have a basket or box handy. Collect items in the living room that don’t belong there: put them in your basket and deliver them to their proper place.

    If your kids are age 5 or older, get them each a basket or box. Have them walk through the family room, living room, and den to pick up all their own objects and take them to their rooms. Teaching your kids to pick up after themselves on a daily basis will save you loads of hours over the years.

    Plus, if you use the timer method mentioned above, the kids will love racing against the clock to get everything picked up and put away.

    Better yet, help them get into the habit of putting things away as soon as they’re done with them. For example, when they’re done playing a game, they put it away. When they’re through creating a work of art, they put the supplies back up where they got them from.

    Do a quick walk-through of your rooms daily to keep things dusted and in their proper places. Ultimately, you’ll save time by maintaining consistent order in your home because clutter will never get out of control.

    1. Schedule larger house-cleaning tasks out over time. If you can’t spare the 4 hours at once it takes to clean the house, why not divide up those tasks and do them over 3 or 4 days?

    For example, Monday, dust the living and dining rooms. Tuesday, sweep and mop the floors. Wednesday, vacuum and clean the bathrooms. Thursday, wipe down the kitchen appliances and polish cabinet doors. Saturday, do the laundry.

    Keep in mind that teaching your kids from young ages how to do basic cleaning tasks is beneficial to them and to you. Plus, some kids actually love doing “grown-up” tasks and will enjoy, at least for a while, helping Mom and Dad do housework.

    When you maintain organization in your home and keep up with your housework, you save time all the way around. Spending just 30 minutes a day 5 days a week will prevent your home from getting cluttered, disorganized and dusty.

    If you do a few quick house tasks daily, keep a box or basket handy to pick up errant belongings, teach kids to help pick up, and split up house-cleaning tasks over a few days, you’ll keep up with all the home-related tasks that must be done. Extra time is golden and you’ll have it when you put these methods to work.

    You learn to be less selfish and less worried about your career. I’ve always been very disciplined and focused on work and having a baby makes you become less self-involved

    Jessica Alba

    Making Time for Your Partner

    Working outside the home means time together is at a premium. Take time every single workday to email, phone or text your partner. Do something daily to keep your relationship special.

    In the event you share your home with your spouse, work to creatively fit in lots of time together. Working in tandem on house projects or lawn tasks can actually be fun and combines working at home and having “couples” time. 

    As you both share home responsibilities and step up to offer ways to get tasks accomplished together, you’ll preserve your relationship while saving time. When the kids are young, you’ll capture quite a bit of time alone together after the kids go to bed at 8 p.m. or so. 

    However, once in a while, the two of you should get away together, just for a couple of hours for dinner and a movie or a walk along the beach. When you plan the time in your busy calendar, it’s more likely to happen. A date night every other week or so will keep you close and help you feel okay about all the other things you do in your life.

    My husband and I are very fortunate because we have flexible jobs.
    If you talk to parents, that’s what they’re trying to do have
    as much flexibility as possible

    Julianne Moore

    Capturing “Me” Time

    Your calendar is crammed. You’re still not quite getting everything done, but you’re starting to feel better about how you’re juggling work, home, kids, and spouse. But where will you find the time for doing things you love to do, just for you?

    1. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. One way to create more time is to get up earlier. The house is quiet, the phones aren’t ringing and nobody else is around to interrupt you. If you had 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week just for yourself, how would that make you feel?

    Have a cup of tea and read your novel. Do yoga. Take a walk. Work on a scrapbook or a crochet project. Whatever you want to do, do it before everyone wakes up. You’ll giggle with sheer joy when you do what you love and feel like the best time manager ever!

    1. Leave home earlier. Leave for work 45 minutes earlier a couple of times a week for a quick work-out at the gym. If you can find me-time on your way to work, why not go for it?
    2. Meet friends for hors d’oeuvres after work. Every two weeks, spend an hour after work having a beverage and snacks with your friends. You’ll discover that building in just a bit of me-time will relieve stress, make you feel happier, and help you face your busy days.

    Securing me-time as a working mom can be done. Try getting up earlier, leaving the house earlier to go to the gym, and occasionally meeting friends for drinks and a chat. Fit in the things you want to feel more satisfied and balance your busy life.

    Like all working mothers, sometimes I feel like a terrible mother and sometimes I feel like a terrible employee. But for the most part, I try to give myself a break, which is something I urge all mothers to do to live your life with a cloud of guilt about everything you are doing is just not good for anybody

    Katie Couric

    Related: darlingsteps.com/how-to-have-a-happy-home

    More Time Management Tips

    Because you work away from home, there will be times when you’re in one place and thinking about jobs you need to complete in the other place.

    Consider these suggestions to handle this issue:  

    1. Carry a spiral notebook. One thing that makes you feel like your life is chaotic is trying to hold everything in your head. What you must get done at home tonight or what you need to complete at work tomorrow just keeps playing over and over in your mind. But what if you could simply write down the item to do it tomorrow or this evening?

    On the first page of your spiral notebook, start your Home to Do List. Every home task or child issue that pops into your head when you’re at work can be quickly jotted down for further reference. You don’t have to spend any more time thinking about it. It will be noted in your notebook.

    Use the back pages for your Work to Do List. When you’re at home and remember something you forgot to do at work today, write it down instead of worrying about it.

    1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go emotionally of details of life if they’re insignificant. It’s okay if your daughter couldn’t find her pink blouse this morning. She’ll probably find it this evening.
    2. Be flexible. Plans change at the last minute. If you’re willing to change your schedule at the drop of a hat, you might be able to save some time. Be willing to consider all the angles.
    3. Know your priorities. Spend most of your time dealing with people and tasks that matter the most to you. You’ll save time and feel more fulfilled as a result.
    4. Reflect on tomorrow’s tasks. In the evening when you’re watching television, pull out your notebook and think about what you want to get done tomorrow at work and at home. It won’t take longer than 10 or 15 minutes. Jot down what needs to get done so you can hit the ground running tomorrow. But for now, it’s time to rest and reflect.
    5. Each morning, consider what you have to do. Think, “How can I balance my schedule today? How will I include some work, some time with kids and family and a bit of time for me?” Instead of hitting the ground running, first take just a few moments to plan.

    Taming your busy and chaotic life might not be easy but can be achieved by carrying a spiral notebook to use as your to-do list. Learning to let go of details that don’t matter, being flexible, knowing your priorities, and taking time to reflect on tomorrow’s tasks will all help you save time and bring you some peace. Then, in the morning, plan what you want to accomplish.

    I want to get it right – balance [motherhood] with my career

    Christina Aguilera

    Unwind, Rest and Sleep

    As your day draws to a close, realize all the tasks you accomplished. Compliment your efforts. Hopefully, you’ve now got a bit of time to read or have some real conversation with your spouse. 

    Enjoy this time of day to unwind, fit in some me-time or share with your spouse. You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling ready to tackle another day of your busy life.

    Whatever you’re doing, do it 100 percent. If you’re with the kids, don’t think about work, and if you’re at work, don’t think about home. But the most important thing is to put family first

    Ann Curry

    Balancing work, children, children’s activities, home tasks, your primary relationship, and time for yourself is within your reach and integral to having a happy life. When you apply the suggestions and strategies in this report, you’ll achieve a pleasing balance through developing excellent time management skills.

    working mom tips 2020
  • Everything You Need To Know About Teaching Kids Resilience

    How The “Hero’s Journey” Can Teach Your Kids About Resilience

    Kids need heroes.

    I know you want to raise a resilient child. So, the best way to do this is to make sure your kids have a hero in their lives. Someone who is going to inspire them and offer a moral compass. Someone who is going to be a powerful role-model. A character who shows that life is an adventure that comes with troubles and hardships, enemies and danger, but always ends well. As long as the hero doesn’t give up, victory is possible.

    As Albert Einstein said:

    “You never fail until you stop trying.”

    Every good movie, book, or story typically has one myth in the middle – a myth called “The Hero’s Journey” that was introduced by Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero with A Thousand Faces.”

    The author aims to show to us that adventures world-famous heroes are facing aren’t far from what we’re going through in our present life, each day.

    Understanding this will support you and your child to be more persistent, patient, and resilient, just like Simba, Hercules, Luke Skywalker, and Batman. 

    The hero’s journey usually consists of 12 steps which could be divided into 3 major stages: 

    1. The first stage. This stage starts with the hero’s separation from his ordinary life. This separation happens because the hero’s boring life has been challenged by a call or invitation to adventure.

    As stepping out of one’s comfort zone is not easy, the hero hesitates at first and decides to refuse the invitation. Soon enough, he regrets that decision and then comes across someone wise and inspiring who becomes his mentor. Once the hero feels supported and guided, he is ready to take the journey.

    1. The second stage. As the journey unfolds, trials, challenges and difficulties are rising. One is more difficult than the other.

    This part carries the most significance for learning that resilience is a necessary part of any successful adventure and life in general. When the hero endures uncomfortable and painful tests and faces the strongest enemies, they often find new ways of solving challenges and adopt many shifts in mindset.

    1. The third and final stage. Steps in this stage include: reward, the road back home, the final test, and return home.

    After many battles and obstacles, the hero finally returns to their former life. From the outside, everything seems to be the same, yet it all feels very different. This is because the hero has changed and transformed through the journey. 

    Helping your child to understand the hero’s journey within a movie, cartoon, or fairytale is a fantastic way to help them develop a moral compass of integrity, resilience, and compassion. 

    This kind of storytelling contains some major resilience-forming ideas:

    • Helps children understand the importance of individual strengths
    • Introduces the benefits of learning from mistakes
    • Empowers children to make decisions
    • Recognizes the importance of being open to support 
    • Promotes qualities such as fairness, integrity, persistence, and kindness
    • Demonstrates how behaviors affect others
    • Stresses the importance of generosity 
    • Helps kids understand that life’s events aren’t random 
    • Teaches the importance of discipline in life 

    Your children will face massive change through their life, just like you did. Through that change they will gain greater insight into their identity and capabilities.

    The sooner they find out that life carries trials, tests, and difficulties, the better equipped they will be to face them. 

    With morally balanced and highly accountable heroes in your child’s immediate surroundings, your child learns to embrace change in life as they embark on their own wonderful journeys and adventures. 

    Are you ready to become that hero for your child?

    Start by identifying your current reality, recognizing the changes you need to make, and then make them in order to become a better version of yourself and a greater role-model of resilience for your child.

    Life Lessons: How the Hero’s Journey Can Teach Kids About Perseverance

    Every parent would like their child to be successful in life – a winner, an autonomous, resilient, self-confident person, who is more often happy and satisfied than not – someone who conquers everyday challenges and leaves the battle without too much scarring.

    Brilliant scientist and Nobel Prize winner, Marie Curie said, “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” 

    Yes, perseverance is what it takes to deal with life’s difficulties each and every day.

    So, how do we do that? How do we teach our children to stay persistent despite difficulties and delays in achieving success?

    • Do we set them on our lap and tell them life is hard, but they need to be strong?
    • Do we put complicated tasks on their path to see how they’ll deal with them?

    The best way to teach perseverance to kids is to read them stories. You just have to spend quality time with your child and be patient. Reading stories about heroes and even introducing them to various cartoons or movies can be more beneficial than you might think. 

    The “Hero’s Journey” is the standard template used in stories, fairy tales, and movie plots. It explains how the hero handles the situation, deals with the difficulties, solves the critical issues, and as a result, learns something new and significant. 

    Here are the beneficial, perseverance-related messages your child will get from heroic tales:

    1. Everyone is good enough to be a hero

    Most of the stories start by describing the hero’s life before the adventure begins. Here, a child will learn that heroes are common, regular, everyday people who encounter extraordinary situations.

    • Kids don’t have to own superpowers to be persistent in dealing with life. Being who they are is their biggest power.
    1. New adventures are all around us

    An adventure doesn’t have to start dramatically. Kids just have to recognize it and accept it as challenging but not impossible. Everyday life is full of simple and complicated challenges.

    • The hero’s journey explains that anything that disrupts your daily life can be perceived as a challenge.
    1. It is okay to have doubts

    You will often see heroes who have second thoughts, personal doubts, and often refuse to face the challenge at first. This teaches children that it’s okay to be scared or to value the comfort one’s hometown more than an exotic adventure. However, the rest of the story sends a message that overcoming a challenge comes with a great reward.

    1. It’s okay to receive support

    Heroes usually have their mentors. This gives children a chance to learn that it’s okay to ask for help and accept support. Perseverance is all about knowing when to give 100% of yourself, when to take a break, and when to share the burden.

    • Mentors are here to provide the reality check, show the hero how to do things, and applaud the effort.
    1. The luck is ever-changing, but persistence pays off

    Heroes in tales deal with various tests before they face the final ordeal. They meet their allies and enemies.

    This happens in a child’s everyday life too, but we don’t define those events in such a dramatic way. The child learns that even though their abilities are tested continuously, they gain deeper insight after accomplishing each task.

    1. Every journey comes with a lesson

    The outcome of the hero’s journey (be it victory or defeat) doesn’t matter that much. What counts is the fact that, through facing and enduring challenges, the hero transforms and develops. Facing his fears, the hero grows as a person, learns many things, and finds fresh hope.

    This helps children learn that being persistent pays off, even when they don’t achieve what they’ve planned. Gaining experience is just as valuable in a child’s life as succeeding.

    Planting the seed of perseverance in your child’s mind might seem complicated, but it is rather simple. Just ensure that you are there for them when they fall to validate their emotions and reward their steps forward, no matter how small they are. 

    Related: darlingsteps.com/teachkidsresilience

    Most importantly, be a person who doesn’t give up easily and your child will learn to do the same. You can be their hero!

    resilient child happy
  • How To Listen to Your Child, The Right Way

    How to Listen to Your Child, The Right Way!

    If you want your children to listen to you, it’s important to listen to them. If you’re looking for additional motivation, a recent study found that having at least one caring parent was the most important factor in helping kids to build resilience and succeed in school.

    Children were six times more likely to overcome challenges and complete their homework if they had a parent who listened to them, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics.

    While parents had the greatest influence, other research shows that the presence of any caring adult can increase positive outcomes too.

    If you want to help your kids or children in general, work on your listening skills. Try these tips for listening to your child.

    Tips for Preparing to Talk with Your Child

    You may have to lay some groundwork if you want your child to talk with you more. 

    Create an environment that encourages heartfelt talks:

    Spend time together

    Your child will be more likely to come to you with sensitive issues if you nurture a close connection. Block out time each day for family meals and sharing fun activities. Do household chores together and read stories before bedtime.

    1. Tune out distractions

    Give your child your full attention when they need to talk. Put away your phone and stop thinking about the office and mortgage payments.

    1. Work on timing

    Successful conversations sometimes depend on the setting. Let your child know that you’ll be available later if they need time to compose themselves or think a situation through.

    1. Calm down

    Similarly, you may need to cool off. It’s easy to say things in anger that you’ll regret later. Taking a walk around the block could prevent you from making a harsh comment that could stick with your child for years.

    1. Think positive

    Let your child know that you notice the things they do well in addition to the times they mess up. Talk more about making friends and learning and less about grades and unmade beds.

    Tips for Listening to Your Child

    Anyone can strengthen their attentive listening skills. Those same skills are likely to help you with other relationships too.

    Use these strategies to shore up your listening skills:

    1. Focus on interaction

    Dialogue moves in two directions. Ensure that you listen at least as much as you speak. 

    1. Let go of judgements

    Show your child that you love and accept them just as they are. You can validate their experiences even when you disagree with their choices.

    1. Drop your agenda

    Encourage your child to develop their own perspective and solve their own dilemmas. Resist the urge to do the work for them.

    1. Address underlying issues

    There’s often more to a conversation than what appears on the surface. If you think your child is overreacting or developing unhealthy patterns, you may need to dig deeper or consider family counseling.

    1. Watch your body language

    A great deal of communications is non-verbal. Use your facial expressions and gestures to show your child that you’re interested and supportive. Make eye contact and keep your body relaxed and open.

    1. Discuss feelings

    Even adults often struggle to identify and share their feelings. The more you work on your own emotional intelligence, the more you can be a role model for understanding and expressing feelings.

    1. Keep practicing

    You may find that active listening seems unnatural or complicated at first. However, your abilities will grow over time, and your family life will be enriched just by making the effort.

    Help your child to develop healthy self-esteem and communication skills by listening to what they have to say. They’ll have a brighter future, and you’ll both enjoy a closer relationship.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    darlingsteps.com/8-steps-to-help-your-child-with-self-esteem