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In your average home, mornings begin in one of two ways.
Scenario 1 – beauty, smiling, cleaned, and food cooking like Martha Stewart just stopped by.
Or Scenario 2- like someone else I know… not me. Groggy with toddlers crawling over you, either tapping your face and shoulder profusely as if they are checking to make sure you’re alive or showering your face with a million (stank breath) kisses.
Again, not me. (In my best Gobber voice)
This is what sets the tone of the day. If you’re the first mama though, rock on mama because this. is. the. life! & I know your days will go a lot smoother than the latter. BUT, if you’re the second mom, again, again, not meeee, then what the heck are
we I mean- you – supposed to do?
Here are a few things I work REAL HARD to do so I can maintain a happy home (& you can too)
- Express gratitude
As best you can, always remind yourself & be on the lookout for ways you can be thankful.
Woke up this morning- check
The weather is beautiful- check
No snarkiness between the kiddos in the first 20 minutes of the day- check
Kids got dressed AND put on their shoes somewhat on time- check
You get the point.
And I know this may seem silly or even a bit useless/unworthy but I promise you these daily small small actions add up to be so much more. That coin jar may just have a penny now but if it had 10,000 pennies in 30 days from now? That’s something.
In college, I had an advisor stress this- if there’s a circumstance you can’t change then change your attitude about it. I won’t tell you that you can’t change the conditions in your own home; however, there are times when we aren’t prepared or can’t change the things that are happening.
And this is where attitude comes to play. Having a positive attitude also has the huge ability to make any sour situation do a 360.
- Follow scripture
This is for those that follow Jesus. If that’s you, it’s simple. We have a book. A manual. THE book that can and will absolutely guide us through every situation in our lives.If you’re new to all of this (and/or haven’t read the bible in its entirety…no judgments, I haven’t either) and you don’t know where to start… here are some quick ideas:
- Web search. Seriously just type your question away into the search engine of your choice with the words ‘bible verse that support….’
- Quora, Reddit, or other apps/websites like these. Type your questions and check back later for peoples thoughts and responses
- Ask around (if you can) Some good places to start are church, friends that share your beliefs, etc
- Bible or a bible app. In the app, type in a focus word that is included in your question, and you’ll see all the verses that have this word ‘pop up.’ Or look in the front or back of your Bible, look for the index, resources, etc.
- Say yes more
It’s sooo easy to see all.the.things. that need to get done and quickly give a well-justified NO to our littles.
Like, no, I can not play hide and seek again for the 37th time. Or allow you to watch another episode of Dora the Explorer (its been 2 hours since the first) or jump on the bed while singing ‘no more monkeys jumping on the bed!’ (don’t you remember what happened the last time? #epicparentingfail)
Instead, search for ways to say yes! I promise you this isn’t too difficult. It’s a matter of reframing your thoughts and words to match.
Case in point:
CHILD: May I have cereal for breakfast? (side note: I don’t buy cereal in my house for breakfast lol, and it’s rare when I allow them to eat it in the morning. I buy it for snack time. I meal prep and give them this instead)
NO! (What the old mama Sheree would say) Yes, after you eat your breakfast 🙂 OR Yes, when you get home from school OR Yes, at ___ o’clock.
CHILD: Continues away, content….no fights. #winninggggg
- Stop expecting praise or constant words of affirmation
This comes off a bit harsh & I know it’s not what every momma really wants to hear. But, even if words of affirmation is your love language- fuhgeddaboudit.
Remind yourself that this IS your job. You ARE required to do everything you’re doing. When you shift your mindset to this, it gets a lot easier, and praises become a bonus, not an expectation.
- Give your home a fresh start, new look, etc
An easy way to do this is by rearranging the furniture. (Those with OCD don’t need to have all the fun. Lol) P.s. It’s totally acceptable for me to say that by the way because I struggle with this.
Swap out your decor to match the current season.
Keep 2-3 sets of curtains and change them a couple of times a year. It’s incredible the difference light / dark curtains can have in a home!
- Create a tradition
Go simple and easy here. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. Something as simple as ‘game night’ every week (you pick the day) is something!
Consider having themed meal nights. Every Friday could be pizza night, Saturday Salads, Sunday Stew/Soup, Monday Meatballs, Tuesday Tacos, Wednesday Waffles…okay I done. LOL (I just realllly freaking love food!)
A ‘tradition’ could also be a habit. Think about mornings, afternoons & evenings…what’s something you could do as a family during an allocated time of the day? (Think prayer/meditation/exercise/journaling/reading etc)
- Be on the same page
There’s nothing quite as frustrating as an argument between your spouse because your views lie on different ends of the spectrum.
- Create a writing space
In a perfect world, everyone would agree or be able to communicate effectively in the midst of arguments. Because this isn’t the case, an effective way to combat this is to have a safe writing space. A place where parents and children can write or draw their emotions, their point of views, whatever’s on their mind. After that, everyone can get together to talk about what’s been written (or drawn).
- Share hobbies and interests
Obviously, we’re all not going to enjoy the same things at the same level. However, it doesn’t mean we can’t put our best foot forward to engage in what’s important to our family members.
- Don’t compare!
One of these days I’m gonna have to write an article on comparison. But for now if you take nothing away from this…remember this:
Never never ever ever ever compare your spouse, your child, your family, or your life to other families. Just stop. Just don’t.YOU, your family, your circumstances, your lives, are unique and special & should be celebrated and never compared!
- Pray (or meditate) more
When we operate from a place of peace… from a place of love…it goes beyond all understanding. We’re able to pour goodness into the world. Sprinkle kindness into our relationships and give dashes of beauty here and there.
You are absolutely capable of overfilling yourself with happiness.