how to be a happy mom (even when you’re stressed)

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Ten habits of the happiest moms

 

Happy moms don’t find happiness like you’d find a penny on the ground. They make it happen. Cultivating happiness habits can make a marked difference in your life.

 

  • Be deliberately optimistic

Optimism is imperative to emotional wellness

I’m gonna keep it real with you. This isn’t going to be easy. It’ll all depend on where you are in your own health journey. If having a happy go lucky personality doesn’t come naturally for you, then I’d suggest moving your focus on CBT. This will help shift any negative thoughts that you typically have towards healthy, happy, not so negative thoughts. In turn, you can focus on being intentionally delighted within your home. #happywifehappylife #happymom

  • Prioritize mindfully

Consistently align choices, intentions, and actions with the top priorities of love happiness and health

How many of you are guilty of the “just five more minutes” attitude? As moms, sometimes we aren’t putting what matters most first. Society does a shi*ty job of acknowledging everything we do, and stay at home moms tend to get the sour end of the stick. We work from home, clean, cook, playhouse to start. Sometimes in that order. Maybe. Maybe not. The tv might stay just a little longer than it should. The tablet keeps playing far longer than it can manage, so they better stay near the outlet if they want to keep playing.

If we don’t prioritize mindfully then, life will pass us by. We will stay in this go go go mentality leaving us to feel inadequate and incomplete. Enter guilt and shame. Hello, excess toys. Goodbye, memories, and experience.

Let’s work harder not to be THAT mom. Perfectionism isn’t real.

But mindfulness is.

Intentional is.

Focus, love, and deliberate actions work.

That is in our reach. Its something I can do and something you can too.

  • Keep uplifting resources on hand

A few surefire mood lifters may include a green smoothie, mani-pedi solo dance party to at least one get your feet moving song by a favorite artist

You know those well-intentioned friends that give the same crappy, cliched overused (again but well-intentioned) tips on feeling better? Like the ones in bold right above ^

They mean well, and so do I., but you’ve heard them a thousand times, right? Arent, you tired of it? Keep the citrus essential oils on hand, run a bubble bath, yadda yadda. The works.

Can I share something that actually freaking works?? Or better yet, share what another writer shared with me?

You’ll find it in this article here. But, I’ll sum it up in a nutshell.

Take a shower. First, as hot as you can stand it. Then after a few minutes of doing this….shift that tempterature guage to as cold as you can stand it. Think, its over 100 degrees outside in the middle of texas hot and you NEED this cold shower. All the while blasting, key blasting your most favoritue upbeat song and singing as loud as you can!

Did you read the article? Seriously it’s a good one. Go read it and ill be here when you get back. Or bookmark it for later.

  • Put yourself first: it’s the best way to bring your A-game to everyone else

Oh goodness, this one sounds sooo selfish. Doesn’t it? But I want you to hear me loud and clear on this one here. Because I took wayyyyy too damn long to learn this. No, seriously, like ten years after being a mom. (this applies in the marriage also ladies, more articles to come)

If you want to pour love and all good things in others, especially your family (the ones that tend to treat the worst, according to research), you need to make sure that your own pitcher is FULL. You can’t pour from an empty glass.

If you put yourself first….your health, your needs, your wants…then you won’t feel as if your lacking and can freely (& happily might I add) pour into others.

  • Be a prolific seeker

Seek beauty, joy, adventure, pleasure growth, and powerful meaning in all areas of your life.

I think that’ll be easier for some moms than others. Especially depending on your upbringing. Let’s say you grew up in the countryside…then it may be easier for you to literally stop and smell the flowers. But those of us that grew up in large cities, certainly don’t have time or the focus to do this.

However, I think all moms, in one or another, get lost in the everyday chaos. I mean, the activities of the day. We forget to express gratitude for the little things.

When the day feels like an utter mess and complete fail, what are you choosing to see?

The mess all over the floor?

The unmade beds?

Meat that needs defrosting?

Piling dishes and laundry

unkempt hair?

OR

Opportunity for kids to discover responsibility?

Gratitude for having all the things you have? (as opposed to not have a mess but also not having what you need?)

Grateful to have a home and beds to sleep in? Food in your refrigerator, plates to eat them on and a family to share it with?

& the ability to have hair at all? (many don’t and struggle to feel beautiful for many different reasons)

  • Don’t make things personal

Absolutely nothing others say or do is about you, ever.

Let me share what a counselor once told me:

what someone thinks of you is NONE of your business.

That’s it. Don’t you go and overthink, overanalyze and complicate this mama. Its none of your damn business. Period. <in case you missed that one.

  • Examine the worst that can happen

Many of the limitations you’re placing on yourself aren’t real they’re illusions

When the sh*t hits the fan (in real life or your beautiful mind) do this:

Think about the absolute worst that can happen. >insert “fear” from Inside Out.< LOL

Once you do that, remind yourself that the odds of that happening are slim. Analyze what you can do in reality if that worst-case scenario did occur. Then, write it down and tuck it away. Let yourself know that should this happen. You’ll consult your note and guidance from friends and family to settle it then.

Then, move on. 5-4-3-2-1- GO. DONE.

Understand more here:

45 minute version: https://youtu.be/Lp7E973zozc

5-minute version: https://youtu.be/nI2VQ-ZsNr0

  • Practice loving-kindness

Making this a habit changes the vibration of your life and the lives of those around you. Plus, it feels great

Before you react to respond to ANYTHING, listen, and see how you can insert or place love in it.

Let’s say, little one number one comes along, screaming and hollering that little one 2 hit them…. insert toy flying across the room, also while you are doing very important said activity.

You might be livid, yell at little one and two. Shut the door and either continue or discontinue the activity.

Instead, let’s try-

Quickly and calmly ending the said activity and then hugging both children for a long while until emotions come wayyy down. Then, listen. And listen to some more.

  • Be aware of your energy

Tune into surrounding energy as well as the energy you’re emitting and notice what needs to be adjusted or abandoned

  • Be wary of media consumption

Limit messages in everything from email to news books music that can take you away from the calm, open space within that revels in joy and wonder.

Get happy in just minutes.

 

Let’s look at some tangible things you can do that help boost your happiness.

  • Journal for two minutes

On a positive experience, you’ve had in the past 24 hours (or increase time if needed. 48hours, week, year, etc.)

  • Exercise

It doesn’t have to be complicated or even exercise for that matter. A walk with the littles or dog will do. Even a simple stretch.

  • Meditate for a few minutes

You can use

  • youtube
  • free or paid apps
  • sites like these>
    • tinybudda.com
    • radicaltransformationproject.com
  • Write a quick morning email to praise or thank someone

Or download an app like Habits to track habits. Create a gratitude habit/alarm (the alarmy app is frustratingly amazing) to go off every morning. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. But it’ll make your day and another person as well.

  • leave a love note tucked in your spouse’s jacket or kids backpack (or stick them on the door or bathroom mirror)
  • write and thank a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
  • love on a family member.

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