Self-Help for Dealing with Stress

Stress invades people’s lives all the time, even daily for some. Life gets hard and it’s difficult to juggle all the things life throws at us. It’s important that we get our stress levels under control because frequently elevated levels of stress are toxic to the human body and can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. It’s easier than you may think to help yourself decrease your stress levels. Just follow these simple steps.

1. Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants and do not decrease your levels of stress; they increase them. Alcohol is a depressant in large amounts and a stimulant in small amounts, making it bad for you to take as a way of relieving stress. Instead of reaching towards the alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine, grab some water or herbal tea. These are hydrating and provide you with stress relief.
2. Try taking part in physical activity. Stress releases hormones in your body known as adrenaline and cortisol. Releasing some of these hormones can help your stress levels to go down.
3. Get more sleep. Not getting enough sleep is a direct correlation to high-stress levels. However, stress sometimes prevents us from relaxing enough to fall asleep. If you are having this issue, try taking a warm bath or reading before bedtime. Another good tip is going to bed at roughly the same time every night. This creates a routine for you to follow, naturally decreasing your stress.
4. Try relaxation techniques. Every day, try a different stress-reducing technique. You can try self-hypnosis as this is very simple and easy to do anywhere. You could also attempt saying one word repeatedly to yourself that holds meaning for you. Don’t worry if these relaxation tips don’t work right off the bat. Relaxation is a skill that takes time to master.
5. Talk to someone you trust and who can help. Letting someone know how you feel is a great way to reduce your stress. Many people have said that it’s like a weight being lifted off their shoulders. Stress can cloud our minds and prevent us from thinking clearly. Talking through your situation with someone can help you figure out a solution to what you’re stressing about.
6. Keep a stress diary. Keeping a diary and writing down your thoughts and emotions will help you become more aware of what you’re feeling. Write down the date and place the stressful event occurred. Also include what you were doing and how you felt, both emotionally and physically. Writing everything down will enable you to avoid another stressful situation and you’ll discover some new coping mechanisms.
7. Manage your time. Many people experience stress when they run out of time to do important things. With a schedule to follow you can ensure that you get all of your important tasks done in a timely manner. Having all your work done on time will help to decrease some stress.
8. Learn to say “No”. It’s easy to believe that you have all the time in the world and can juggle one more thing in your life. But sometimes you need to remember that you have so many other important things that needs to be juggled. There’s only a certain amount of hours in a day, making it hard to get multiple things done.

Take care of yourself. Stress invades everyone’s lives but dealing with stress is manageable. Know that everything will get better and the thing that’s causing you so much stress won’t be a worry to you down the road.

Self-Help Tips for Dealing with a Low Mood

Many people suffer from depression and low moods. It’s often hard to overcome, but remember that change takes time. When trying to take control of your feelings, remember to be patient. Listed below are some tips you can use to try to lift your feelings of depression.

1. Stay in touch. Don’t withdraw from your life and your loved ones. When talking to others, it has been proven that it can improve your mood. Talk to the people you care about the most. Let them know how you feel because they may be the biggest key in you getting the healing that you need.

2. Be more active. Take up any form of exercise. Studies have shown that exercise helps to lift your mood.

3. Face your fears. Whatever is making you feel so low, face it, but in small amounts. Running away from something difficult can actually just make your mood drop even more. Depression can make people lose their confidence, but don’t let it take that away from you. Battle through it and tell your depression who’s boss.

4. Don’t drink too much alcohol. Alcohol in large amounts is a depressant, which will only make you feel more depressed. You may turn to drinking to cope or hide from your depression, but in actuality only makes it worse.

5. Try to have a healthier diet. When depressed, many people don’t feel like eating. This makes them in danger of being underweight. On the flip side, though, some people find comfort in food, which then puts them in danger of being overweight.

6. Have a routine. Keeping your body on a regular schedule has shown to decrease stress and low moods. Ensure that you go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time. Without a routine, you can fall into a slump and notice a new level of sadness. Another negative to not having a routine is that it impacts your eating. You may stop cooking regular meals, eat snacks throughout the entire day, or miss meals because you stay in bed all day.

These tips may not work for everyone. However, if you notice that your depression is getting out of hand and you can’t handle things on your own, it may be time that you get help from a professional. They’ll be able to provide you with an “attack” plan to help battle your depression.

If you feel as though the tips given won’t help, or that your depression is on a high level, then you may want to consider talking to your doctor about medication to help balance your moods.

There are also helplines available to anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable getting help from their doctor, or whose depression has gotten so out of hand that they’ve thought about harming themselves.

Whatever the situation, there are people available whenever you need the help. No one will judge you; they’re simply there to help you get the support that you need.

Ten habits of the happiest moms

Happy moms don’t find happiness like you’d find a penny on the ground. They make it happen. Cultivating happiness habits can make a marked difference in your life.

Be deliberately optimistic

Optimism is imperative to emotional wellness

I’m gonna keep it real with you. This isn’t going to be easy. It’ll all depend on where you are in your own health journey. If having a happy go lucky personality doesn’t come naturally for you, then I’d suggest moving your focus on CBT. This will help shift any negative thoughts that you typically have towards healthy, happy, not so negative thoughts. In turn, you can focus on being intentionally delighted within your home. #happywifehappylife #happymom

Prioritize Mindfully

Consistently align choices, intentions, and actions with the top priorities of love happiness and health

How many of you are guilty of the “just five more minutes” attitude? As moms, sometimes we aren’t putting what matters most first. Society does a shi*ty job of acknowledging everything we do, and stay at home moms tend to get the sour end of the stick. We work from home, clean, cook, playhouse to start. Sometimes in that order. Maybe. Maybe not. The tv might stay just a little longer than it should. The tablet keeps playing far longer than it can manage, so they better stay near the outlet if they want to keep playing.

If we don’t prioritize mindfully then, life will pass us by. We will stay in this go go go mentality leaving us to feel inadequate and incomplete. Enter guilt and shame. Hello, excess toys. Goodbye, memories, and experience.

Let’s work harder not to be THAT mom. Perfectionism isn’t real.

But mindfulness is.

Intentional is.

Focus, love, and deliberate actions work.

That is in our reach. Its something I can do and something you can too.

Keep uplifting resources on hand

A few surefire mood lifters may include a green smoothie, mani-pedi solo dance party to at least one get your feet moving song by a favorite artist

You know those well-intentioned friends that give the same crappy, cliched overused (again but well-intentioned) tips on feeling better? Like the ones in bold right above ^

They mean well, and so do I., but you’ve heard them a thousand times, right? Arent, you tired of it? Keep the citrus essential oils on hand, run a bubble bath, yadda yadda. The works.

Can I share something that actually freaking works?? Or better yet, share what another writer shared with me?

You’ll find it in this article here. But, I’ll sum it up in a nutshell.

Take a shower. First, as hot as you can stand it. Then after a few minutes of doing this….shift that tempterature guage to as cold as you can stand it. Think, its over 100 degrees outside in the middle of texas hot and you NEED this cold shower. All the while blasting, key blasting your most favoritue upbeat song and singing as loud as you can!

Did you read the article? Seriously it’s a good one. Go read it and ill be here when you get back. Or bookmark it for later.

Put yourself first: it’s the best way to bring your A-game to everyone else

Oh goodness, this one sounds so selfish. Doesn’t it? But I want you to hear me loud and clear on this one here. Because I took way too damn long to learn this. No, seriously, like ten years after being a mom. (this applies in the marriage also ladies, more articles to come)

If you want to pour love and all good things in others, especially your family (the ones that tend to treat the worst, according to research), you need to make sure that your own pitcher is FULL. You can’t pour from an empty glass.

If you put yourself first….your health, your needs, your wants…then you won’t feel as if your lacking and can freely (& happily might I add) pour into others.

Be a prolific seeker

Seek beauty, joy, adventure, pleasure growth, and powerful meaning in all areas of your life.

I think that’ll be easier for some moms than others. Especially depending on your upbringing. Let’s say you grew up in the countryside…then it may be easier for you to literally stop and smell the flowers. But those of us that grew up in large cities, certainly don’t have time or the focus to do this.

However, I think all moms, in one or another, get lost in the everyday chaos. I mean, the activities of the day. We forget to express gratitude for the little things.

When the day feels like an utter mess and complete fail, what are you choosing to see?

The mess all over the floor?

The unmade beds?

Meat that needs defrosting?

Piling dishes and laundry

unkempt hair?

OR

Opportunity for kids to discover responsibility?

Gratitude for having all the things you have? (as opposed to not have a mess but also not having what you need?)

Grateful to have a home and beds to sleep in? Food in your refrigerator, plates to eat them on and a family to share it with?

& the ability to have hair at all? (many don’t and struggle to feel beautiful for many different reasons)

Don’t make things personal

Absolutely nothing others say or do is about you, ever.

Let me share what a counselor once told me:

what someone thinks of you is NONE of your business.

That’s it. Don’t you go and overthink, overanalyze and complicate this mama. It’s none of your damn business. Period. <in case you missed that one.

Examine the worst that can happen

Many of the limitations you’re placing on yourself aren’t real they’re illusions.

When the sh*t hits the fan (in real life or your beautiful mind) do this:

Think about the absolute worst that can happen. >insert “fear” from Inside Out.< LOL

Once you do that, remind yourself that the odds of that happening are slim. Analyze what you can do in reality if that worst-case scenario did occur. Then, write it down and tuck it away. Let yourself know that should this happen. You’ll consult your note and guidance from friends and family to settle it then.

Then, move on. 5-4-3-2-1- GO. DONE.

Understand more here:

45 minute version: https://youtu.be/Lp7E973zozc

5-minute version: https://youtu.be/nI2VQ-ZsNr0

Practice loving-kindness

Making this a habit changes the vibration of your life and the lives of those around you. Plus, it feels great

Before you react to respond to ANYTHING, listen, and see how you can insert or place love in it.

Let’s say, little one number one comes along, screaming and hollering that little one 2 hit them…. insert toy flying across the room, also while you are doing very important said activity.

You might be livid, yell at little one and two. Shut the door and either continue or discontinue the activity.

Instead, let’s try-

Quickly and calmly ending the said activity and then hugging both children for a long while until emotions come way down. Then, listen. And listen to some more.

Be aware of your energy

Tune into surrounding energy as well as the energy you’re emitting and notice what needs to be adjusted or abandoned

Be Wary Of Media Consumption

Limit messages in everything from email to news books music that can take you away from the calm, open space within that revels in joy and wonder.

Get happy in just minutes.

Let’s look at some tangible things you can do that help boost your happiness.

Journal for two minutes

On a positive experience, you’ve had in the past 24 hours (or increase time if needed. 48hours, week, year, etc.)

Exercise

It doesn’t have to be complicated or even exercise for that matter. A walk with the littles or dog will do. Even a simple stretch.

Meditate for a few minutes

You can use

• youtube
• free or paid apps
• sites like these>
  • Tiny Buddha
  • RTP

Write a quick morning email to praise or thank someone

Or download an app like Habits to track habits. Create a gratitude habit/alarm (the alarmy app is frustratingly amazing) to go off every morning. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. But it’ll make your day and another person as well.

• leave a love note tucked in your spouse’s jacket or kids backpack (or stick them on the door or bathroom mirror)
• write and thank a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
• love on a family member.

Share your thoughts below!

How to Forgive Yourself – The Hardest Form of Forgiveness

If you’re anything like me, you are your own harshest critic and toughest judge. It’s not easy to forgive and it’s even harder to forgive yourself when you know you’ve done or said something wrong. The good news is that it can be done and if you follow the advice below, you’ll be well on your way to forgiving yourself.

Start By Asking For Forgiveness

Nine times out of ten you do something that involves and hurts another person. Before you can start to forgive yourself, you should ask that person for forgiveness. Make up for what you did, set things right, and then ask them to forgive you. It’s a powerful thing that will help both of you move on.

Vow To Do Better In The Future

Next, it’s important to make sure you won’t do the same thing again. Forgiveness is meaningless if you just turn around and do it again. At the same time, by thinking about what you did and how you can be better in the future, you’re taking a big step towards forgiving yourself.

Facing your own mistakes and shortcomings isn’t easy. Take your time, work through it, and look at it as a learning opportunity. Until you face your faults and figure out what you can do better, you can’t learn and grow as a human being. Take that opportunity and make it count.

Repent and Atone

Yes, this sounds very Christian and medieval, but there’s something to be said for atonement. It’s much easier to forgive yourself when you feel like you’ve paid a price for what you’ve done.

Asking for forgiveness and vowing to do better in the future may be part of that, but sometimes you need to take things a step further.

Do something nice for the person you’ve hurt. What you do and how you do it will vary from situation to situation. Do what you can to set things right or at least make things better for the person you’ve hurt.

It’s also important to realize that the person you’ve hurt may not ready to forgive and move on. That’s ok. Respect their space and their pain. Instead, go out and do something nice for someone else. Go help out in your community, run some errands for an elderly neighbor, be kind to a stranger. Do something nice to balance out the negative things you’ve done. Trust me, even if you can’t help the person you’ve hurt, you’ll feel better for it.

Last but not least be there when the other person is ready for forgiveness. Don’t expect to have the slate wiped clean. Take responsibility for what you did and at that point do what you can to make things right. Most importantly acknowledge the forgiveness and thank the person for it. This is as much for their benefit as yours.

Common Treatments for Anxiety

Anxiety is a difficult thing to live with. It can affect your relationships and overall quality of life. The good news is, anxiety tends to respond to treatment. Here are some of the more common treatments for anxiety.

Behavioral Therapy

Behavioral therapy is about just that – behavior. It is not designed to delve into the patient’s past or explore underlying causes of the patient’s anxiety.

It does, however, help the patient identify patterns of thinking and behaving, and how those thoughts and behaviors are connected. The goal is to help the patient manage the problem.

Cognitive Therapy

This kind of therapy teaches the patient to have rational responses to stressful situations rather than negative, self-abasing responses.

Cognitive therapy helps the patient face – and therefore overcome – the irrational thoughts and beliefs that bring on an anxious response.

Medication

While there are several anxiety medications on the market, most experts agree that medication should be used in conjunction with some other sort of therapy. Medication is generally considered a short-term help, and, depending on the type of anxiety exhibited, is not a long-term solution.

Regular Exercise

This is basic but effective. Exercise causes the brain to release endorphins, the “feel-good” brain chemicals that help you relax and feel happy and content.

Exercise also uses your muscles and promotes good circulation. Daily exercise is best, but even regular exercise several times a week has proven helpful.

Meditation or Relaxation Techniques

Like regular exercise, these treatments need to be practiced regularly. They can help release muscle tension. Meditation and relaxation also promote centered, calm patterns of thought.

Hypnosis

While most of us think of a patient lying on a couch with a psychiatrist swinging a pocket watch in front of the patient’s face, modern, legitimate hypnosis is practiced differently.

Performed by a hypnotherapist, hypnosis puts the patient into a deeply relaxed state. While the patient is in this state, the hypnotherapist suggests techniques and methods for managing the patient’s anxiety.

Biofeedback

This treatment basically teaches you how to recognize your body’s anxiety symptoms. It “tunes you in” to your body’s cues so that you can recognize an oncoming episode of anxiety. If you can recognize its onset, you can learn to stop it from getting full-blown.

Psychotherapy

This usually involves talking to someone, and is sometimes called “talk therapy.” Therapists help the anxiety sufferer understand and identify what is going on, which then enables the sufferer to manage his or her anxiety.