Moms

Making Motherhood Easier…Together.


Are You Ready To Raise Amazing Humans?


I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO:

Stay Positive
I’ll Help You Parent With Intention, So You Can Raise Your Littles Without Stress Or Losing Your Sh*t.

Raise Culturally Sound Kids
Learn how to help your kids be mindful of others. Learn to love and embrace everyone’s differences (instead of ignoring or dismissing them).

Have A Happy Marriage
Discover how to stay in love with your spouse-forever. Mend mishaps and use those stressful experiences to bond you CLOSER.

Create The Life Of Your Dreams
SAHM, WAHM or anything in between. It’s about YOU. Work from anywhere, homeschool your kids and raise your family on your terms! 

YOU Are The Best Mom For Your Family!


  • Everything You Didn’t Know: Raise Happy, Confident Kids

    Having a child is easy. Raising a child not so much. No job is more important, frustrating, or rewarding than raising a happy, confident, and successful child. 

    Raising happy, capable children is one part science and two parts art. No two children are exactly the same. Each child has his own strengths and weaknesses. Each child has a unique set of challenges. One child might be great at school but struggles socially, while another has plenty of friends but struggles to deal with his emotions.

    So what’s a parent to do?

    Despite these individual differences, there are general principles that apply to us all. The tips in this guide will help you to instill habits and thought processes in your children that lead them toward a happy and fulfilling life.

     It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

    Frederick Douglass

    Decide What Happy, Confident, and Successful Mean to You

    We all hold differing opinions on what success means. Keep in mind that success at one age doesn’t necessarily mean success at another age. You might be pleased with your 6-figure 401(k), but a child would probably prefer to have a loving group of friends. 

    Still, a successful childhood will often translate into easier confidence, happiness, and success as an adult.

    Consider the various parts of a child’s life:

    ‣ School

    ‣ Peers

    ‣ Family life

    A child must also learn how to:

    ‣ Grow their emotional intelligence

    ‣ Set and achieve goals

    ‣ Make decisions

    ‣ Deal with fears and stress appropriately

    ‣ Show kindness

    ‣ Take responsibility for their actions

    Create good habits

    As a parent, you have the most crucial role in teaching these skills to your child. Consider what you believe your children should know to thrive in each part of their life during childhood and beyond. Create your own list and use it to formulate your strategy.

    Determine your responsibilities:

    ‣ Food, clothing, and shelter

    ‣ Love

    ‣ Encouragement

    ‣ Wisdom

    Also, consider where you’ll draw the line. Will you teach your child to stand up to a bully, instruct them to notify the teacher, or take matters into your own hands?

    Some parents believe in taking control of every aspect of their child’s life, while others take an entirely hands-off approach. In the first case, if you do everything for your child, they may struggle to take care of themselves later in life. In the second, they’re likely to feel overwhelmed and fail to thrive.

    Finding the right balance is important. This balance will depend on the individual child.

    Know your child:

    ‣ Intelligence

    ‣ Introvert vs. extrovert

    ‣ Confidence

    ‣ Emotional stability and strength

    ‣ Interests

    ‣ Ability to focus

    A highly intelligent and introverted child will require a different approach than a confident, extroverted child that struggles with school. A child may need limited assistance in some areas while requiring extensive help in others. It’s also possible your child is so gifted in certain areas that they might be able to teach you a thing or two!

    The choices you make as a parent can help or harm your child.

    It’s important to define success, determine your responsibilities, and consider your child’s unique traits.

    All children are born pure egoists. They perceive their needs to the exclusion of all others. Only through socialization do they learn that some forms of gratification must be deferred and others denied

    Andrew Vachss

    Emotional Intelligence

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage the emotions of yourself and others. This might be the most critical skill anyone could ever learn!

    Emotional intelligence is considered to be a much better predictor of success and happiness than IQ.

    Being intelligent isn’t very helpful if you’re unable to deal with yourself and others effectively. You probably know at least one person who is highly intelligent but struggles with life.

    Raise the emotional intelligence of your child:

    Be a good example

    • Your child is always watching you for clues regarding how to behave in different circumstances. Are you being a good role model? If your own emotional intelligence can use a little work, now is the time to get busy.
    • Purchase three books on emotional intelligence and begin to put the ideas into action. By enhancing your own emotional intelligence, you’ll be helping yourself and your child. Set a good example.

    Encourage your child to express his emotions

    • People are separate from their feelings. A person might be feeling anger, but they are not literally “angry.” It’s necessary to make this distinction. When your child expresses his emotions, he can begin the processes of discovering that his emotions are separate entities.
    • Help your child to label emotions when they arise. Address their emotions. “You’re feeling sad because your friend can’t play today.”

    Teach your child to view emotions as a message and deal with them effectively

    • Emotions aren’t an invitation to act out. Emotions can be acknowledged without the need for impulsive action to follow. Help your child learn to tolerate negative emotions and find solutions when appropriate.

    Praise your child when they show emotional intelligence

    • Whenever your child demonstrates self-control or other appropriate emotional behavior, point it out and compliment them for their successful effort.

    Share your own emotions with your child

    • Tell your child that you’re disappointed that your favorite TV show was cancelled or that you’re upset that your sister is ill. Explain how that emotion feels to you.

    Point out emotions in others

    • Point out the angry man in the grocery store or the happiness in a sibling. Recognizing emotions in others takes practice. Fortunately, there are people experiencing emotions everywhere. Make a game out of it.

    Teach your child how to calm down

    • Lead your child by asking appropriate questions:
    1. Do you think you need a few minutes of quiet time to calm down?
    2. Since you’re getting upset, let’s take a few deep breaths and relax until you feel calm again.
    3. What will help you to feel more calm and relaxed?

    Teach your child positive self-talk

    • Give your child examples of positive self-talk when negative emotions occur.

    “When you’re feeling uncertain, say to yourself, ‘I’m a big girl, and I can handle this.'”

    Emotional intelligence is an integral part of happiness, confidence, and success. The best way to instill emotional intelligence in your child is to demonstrate it each day. Build your own emotional intelligence and take the necessary steps to accomplish the same in your child. 

    Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent

    Bob Keeshan

    Building Social Skills in Your Child

    A child without friends feels alone and unwanted, no matter how much love and attention you shower upon them. In many ways, a child with a high level of social intelligence will be ahead of the game, but there are skills specific to making and keeping friends that everyone needs to learn to have a healthy social life.

    Your child’s social skills are critical to their happiness and confidence:

    Teach your child to maintain eye contact

    • When your child is talking to you or to others, encourage eye contact. You can even have a staring contest with your child. Explain to them that eye contact demonstrates that they are listening and paying attention.

    Teach your child to be kind

    • Explain to your child that other children are more likely to like them if they are nice. Teach your child to show kindness in both their actions and their words.

    Give your child opportunities to practice their social skills

    • Encourage them to invite other children over to the house. Set up playdates. Have them speak to the next-door neighbor. Encourage your child to develop new friendships.

    Use your child’s interests

    If your child loves baseball, sign him up for a baseball team. Children are much more likely to be excited and sociable while taking part in an activity that they love.

    Ask your child’s teacher for advice and information

    It’s hard to have an accurate picture of how your child is doing socially at school. Ask your child’s teachers about your child’s social skills. If your child is young enough, you can probably volunteer to be a helper in the classroom. That way, you’ll be able to assess the situation first-hand.

    Teach your child to take turns

    Few things get children upset quicker than a lack of fairness. Children instinctively know when a situation is unfair. Teach your child to share and take turns.

    Teach your child how to introduce themselves

    This is very stressful for many children, and more than a few adults! There are people everywhere just waiting to be your practice dummies. Show your child how to introduce themselves and give them plenty of practice.

    Teach your child to apologize when necessary

    We all make mistakes. The solution is to apologize and move on. Most children are very forgiving when presented with a quick apology.

    Basic social skills are necessary to be part of the world. The better your child’s social skills, the more they’ll be able to enjoy the company of others. Think about the people you know with poor social skills. You want something better for your child. Adults with poor social skills have habits that are challenging to overcome. Teach your child good social skills early in life.

    Without education, your children can never really meet the challenges they will face. So it’s essential to give children education and explain that they should play a role for their country

    Nelson Mandela

    Academic Success

    Success at school increases confidence and provides for a greater number of opportunities later in life. Children with good grades and study skills can choose from a wider variety of colleges and career choices than those with limited academic success. With the proper habits, most children can navigate the academic demands of school successfully.

    Teach your child to be an excellent student:

    Motivate your child

    You can’t expect your child to do well if they don’t care. The best way to get them to care is to show them that school is a priority.

    • Ask your child about school.
    • Give praise for grades.
    • Show concern and give help when they’re struggling.
    • Explain to them the importance of good grades.

    Require your child to read

    Children that read- do better in school. Set aside at least 15 minutes each day for reading time. Your local library will have reading programs all year round with recommended reading lists for children. 

    Be involved at your child’s school

    When you make time for your child’s school activities, you show your interest.

    • Volunteer for parent-teacher organizations
    • Go to all parent-teacher conferences
    • Attend school functions
    • Volunteer for school events
    • Attend school board meetings
    • Chaperone field trips

    Have homework expectations

    Set aside a certain time each night for homework. The time is up to you, but be consistent. Teach your child that homework is to be completed each day, no matter what.

    Put your child to bed on time

    Does your child sleep much longer on the weekends? If so, they most likely need to go to bed earlier during the week. A well-rested child will have better focus, be in a better mood, and perform at a higher level.

    • Experiment with different bedtimes and stick with what works. If your child struggles to get up in the morning, try sending them to bed 15 minutes earlier.

    Feed them a nutritious breakfast

    Kids need something to eat in the morning. Younger children sleep for a longer period of time and might not get a chance to eat again until noon. Make a good breakfast part of your child’s morning routine. This also means your child will have to get up on time.

    Teach study skills

    No one knows how to study without initial guidance. Help your child to study for tests. Get started early and teach your child how to get organized. Memorization skills are also necessary.

    Academic success can provide a tremendous amount of confidence and self-esteem. Show your child that their education is important to you. Explain how good grades will help them later in life. Teach the study skills and habits that your child will need for ongoing success in school and in life.

    Get involved at your child’s school. There are plenty of opportunities for a motivated parent.

    Teach love, generosity, good manners, and some of that will drift from the classroom to the home, and who knows, the children will be educating the parents

    Roger Moore

    Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

    Any child with social intelligence, social skills, and good grades will feel proud and confident. There are additional things you can do to make your child even more confident and happy. Children that are happy and confident are more successful and a joy to be around!

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    Increase your child’s self-confidence:

    Create opportunities for success

    Ask your child to do things you know they can accomplish. For a young child, this might be putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. An older child would require a more challenging task.

    Allow your child to make decisions

    Children feel more confident and like they have more control in their life when they can make decisions.

    • Once a week, let your child choose the dinner menu, with the caveat that the meal must be healthy.
    • Allow your child to choose the route home from the store or school.
    • Let them choose their clothes for the day. (You might want to provide three outfits and give your child a choice from those three options.)

    Encourage them to resolve their challenges

    If they complain that they’re bored, ask what they could do so they wouldn’t be bored. When a child is able to solve their own problems, their confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.

    Provide opportunities to be helpful

    When we do things to benefit others, we feel better about ourselves. 

    • Give your child a helpful task to accomplish. It might be putting away the clean forks and spoons or filling the dog’s water bowl. Every child should have a few responsibilities around the house.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/8-steps-to-help-your-child-with-self-esteem

    Teach your children to trust themselves

    Encourage them to make their own decisions. Some of them may be wrong, but then you’re presented with the opportunity to help them learn how to fix mistakes. 

    • A child that isn’t afraid of making mistakes is highly confident.

    Ask your child to list their accomplishments for the day

    Teach them the habit of focusing on the positive. A few possible accomplishments might be:

    • Getting an A on a spelling test
    • Cleaning up their room
    • Eating their vegetables
    • Completing their homework
    • Reading a book
    • Playing well with their little brother
    • Giving themselves a bath

    Be confident yourself

    Show your child what real self-confidence looks like. Children model your behaviors.

    Give sincere compliments

    Kids know when you’re throwing meaningless drivel at them. Avoid telling your son that he’s a great basketball player if he’s the worst on the team. Dig deep and give your child a sincere compliment.

    Avoid putting an emphasis on perfection

    Expecting perfection creates a child that’s afraid to even try. Nothing is perfect and a goal of perfection is self-defeating. There are times you can “improve” your child’s result, but sometimes it’s best to allow your child’s results to stand on their own.

    Avoid leaving your child’s confidence and self-esteem to chance

    There are many simple and easy ways to grow your child’s sense of self-worth and increase his ability to tackle the world with confidence. A little time and effort each day can make a huge difference.

    Motherhood has taught me the meaning of living in the moment and being at peace. Children don’t think about yesterday, and they don’t think about tomorrow. They just exist in the moment

    Jessalyn Gilsig

    Dealing with Failure

    Failure is a part of life. No one can be perfect 100% of the time. Failure isn’t fatal, but many adults view it as something to avoid. Teach your child that failure is a part of life; it’s only a temporary condition and can lead you to success. A child that deals effectively with failure is equipped to deal with the world successfully.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/boostkidsconfidence

    Make your child resistant to the potential pitfalls of failure:

    Failure is a learning opportunity

    When we fail, we learn that our approach wasn’t the best choice. Explain to your child that failing means you need to try again with a new approach. Most kids readily accept this fact.

    Failure isn’t personal

    Failure says nothing about the person that “failed.” Failure is the result of a behavior. Failing doesn’t mean that a person isn’t capable, smart, or a good person.

    Tell your child about a time you failed, but were ultimately successful

    Share a story about your own failure and show your child that failure happens to everyone. More importantly, tell your child how you overcame your failure and experienced success at the end.

    Teach your child that persistence is important

    With enough persistence, any failure can be overcome. It’s important to try again.

    • If you think about the adults you know that struggle in life, you’ll find that they’re not persistent in their efforts. Teach this fact to your child.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/teachkidsresilience

    You won’t always get what you want

    Life can be disappointing. You can’t hit every shot or get every question on a test correct every time. Some “failures” can’t be undone, but life must go on. Failure can be an opportunity to deal with disappointment.

    • disappointment occurs throughout life. We don’t get the job we want. Our offer for a Saturday night date is refused. But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

    Success can be more meaningful when you’ve been forced to deal with failure

    Allow your child to experience success after initial failure. This means you’ll have to encourage your child to continue trying after failing. When they’re successful, point out how good they feel. Success is rewarding.

    Dealing with failure is a part of life

    When a child is able to deal with failure effectively, he loses his fear of failure. Most adults never learned to embrace failure and make every effort to avoid situations that might result in failure. True success can never be achieved if you’re limited by a fear of failing.

    It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phones. Children are nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when parents used to read to them without the cell phone by their side

    Sherry Turkle

    Teach Your Child to Set and Achieve Goals

    We all know the power of setting goals. Instill the habit of setting goals in your child, and they’ll be much more successful in life. By developing the habit at a young age, setting goals will be automatic later in life.

    When children make decisions and are successful, they’re happier and more confident! Just like any adult.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/simple-positive-parenting-hacks-to-help-your-kids-thrive

    Setting goals is a valuable skill at any age:

    Start small

    Before beginning any task, ask your child what the goal is.

    • Make my room clean
    • Get an “A” on my vocabulary test
    • Organize my books
    • Finish reading this book

    Ensure that your child is successful

    If the goal is to finish the book, make sure the book gets read. Help her study for her vocabulary test.

    • Most of us are good at setting goals and making plans. It’s the execution that’s challenging. Teach your child to complete what they start.

    Set goals together for the week

    Share some of your goals and encourage your child to set some goals. The goals could be nearly anything.

    • Go to see a movie
    • Go to bed by 8:00 every night
    • Ask said friend to spend the night

    Share some of your own goals, such as cleaning out the garage, paying the bills, or washing the car.

    Sit down together each night and review your collective progress

    Make plans to achieve your goals. Teach the habit of regularly reviewing your goals each day.

    Set multi-step goals

    It’s easy to get in the car and drive to McDonald’s, but that’s okay. Small goals count, too. Encourage your child to set one goal that will take a few weeks of effort. It might be learning a piece of music on the piano or earning $25 by the end of the month doing jobs around the house.

    • Choose a goal that will require consistent effort and track your child’s progress. The discipline needed to achieve a bigger goal creates a bigger thrill. It’s also great practice for the future.
    • Be sure to set a deadline. A goal without a deadline is rarely achieved.

    Even younger, school-aged children can set and achieve goals

    The quality of the goal isn’t as important as developing the habit of setting goals. We tend to carry habits throughout our lives. Teach your child to set, review, and achieve goals now. The success and control over life your child will experience will make him happy and confident.

    Raising children uses every bit of your being – your heart, your time, your patience, your foresight, your intuition to protect them, and you have to use all of this while trying to figure out how to discipline them

    Nicole Ari Parker

    Dealing with Fears

    Even adults have fears. We’re all afraid of the proverbial “monster under the bed.” Dealing with fear effectively can make a child more confident and secure. Feeling afraid is common at any age. 

    How a person deals with fear can influence his confidence and happiness.

    Help your child learn to manage their fears effectively with these tricks:

    Share your own fears as a child

    Whether you were afraid of the dark or the life-sized teddy bear in your closet, tell your child about your fear. Then share how you were able to overcome it. Teach your child that it’s natural to be afraid and that it happens to everyone at every age.

    Teach your child about being brave

    Many kids believe that being brave means, you’re not afraid. But bravery is the act of facing your fears. Encourage your child to be brave. Fear and avoidance are something we do. Being brave is also something we can do.

    Avoid books, movies, and television programs with characters that you know will cause your child to feel fear.

    If your child is terrified of wolves, it doesn’t make sense to read the “Three Little Pigs” to them.

    • Explain the difference between fantasy and reality to your child.

    Avoid embarrassing your child

    The worst thing you can do to a fearful child is to tell them to stop being a baby. The last thing a fearful child needs is to start believing that he is unloved. Your own fears aren’t any more realistic 99% of the time.

    Ask your child to come up with solutions

    Only they know what will make them feel better. A nightlight or five minutes snuggling in bed shouldn’t be an issue for any parent. You might even enjoy it.

    Who isn’t afraid? Our fears limit us and rob us of confidence. Be supportive, seek solutions, and admit your own childhood fears. Show your child that feeling fear is natural, but that they can also take action to minimize this fear.

    Among the other values children should be taught are respect for others, beginning with the child’s own parents and family; respect for the symbols of faith and the patriotic beliefs of others; respect for law and order; respect for the property of others; respect for authority

    James E. Faust

    Children require a lot of work and attention to reach their potential. 

    Anyone can raise happy and confident children, but it’s unlikely to happen without time and effort. 

    Remember that each child is an individual. No single method will work in all situations. Take into account your child’s unique characteristics before developing your plan.

    Address all aspects of your child’s life – school, peers, and family life. They need to experience some level of success in all facets in order for their confidence and happiness to grow.

    Being a parent is hard work, but seeing your child thrive is one of life’s greatest satisfactions.

  • 10 Skills Every Kids Needs To Know

    Success is a skill.

    Being a great student doesn’t necessarily translate to being a successful adult. So, you’re not off the hook just because your child is doing well in school.

    The most important things in life aren’t taught in school.

    As a parent, you can make up for this oversight and still prepare your child for a successful and fulfilling life.

    Teach these skills to help your child to be successful in life…

    Set Goals

    Even a child can set goals. A child’s goals might be to get an A on a test, earn a spot on the basketball team, or finish a long book. Learning to set an objective and develop a plan to achieve it are valuable skills for anyone of any age.

    Work Daily Towards a Practice

    Having a goal and a plan is the easy part. Executing that plan reliably is considerably more challenging. Help your child to put in the time each day to achieve something worthwhile. It might be studying for a big test, exercising each day, or learning how to draw animals.

    Focus

    No one teaches us how to focus. In fact, most of us spend our lives distracting ourselves, which is the opposite of focus. Meditation is one tool for teaching focus, but there are many other options, such as:

    • Set a timer and ask your child to focus on their homework for 10 minutes straight.
      • Avoid allowing your child to read a book or play on their tablet while watching TV. Teach them to only engage in one activity at a time.

    Don’t Mind Them

    This is a tough one to master at any age, but it’s especially challenging for children. It’s hard to be successful if you’re worried about the opinions of others. Set a good example and show your child what it means to be brave.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/boostkidsconfidence

    Be Bold

    The willingness to fail is strongly correlated with success. Successful people fail much more frequently than the average person. The more often you’re willing to fail, the more success you’ll find. Teach this lesson to your children. Again, set a good example.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/simple-positive-parenting-hacks-to-help-your-kids-thrive

    Dealing With “Failure”

    Once failure has occurred, it’s important to make the most of it. Teach your child that failure is a learning opportunity that makes them stronger and more capable.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/teachkidsresilience

    Manage Uncomfortable Feelings

    Fear is the greatest blocker to success. The inability to deal with negative feelings, in general, leads to bad habits, such as drinking, using drugs, overeating, and wasting time on stimulating activities with little value. Help your child to deal with uncomfortable feelings in a positive way. The ability to manage negative feelings effectively makes relationships more challenging, too.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    Skills

    It’s not easy to be happy and successful on your own. Relationships are an important part of life. Many children struggle to make friends and fit in. This can lead to a lot of challenges in childhood and later in life.

    darlingsteps.com/how-to-be-happy

    Time Management

    Use your time wisely, and you can accomplish anything. Teach your child how to plan part of his day and how to use that time wisely. Procrastination is a success killer.

    darlingsteps.com/how-working-moms-manage-time-like-a-pro

    Self-Care

    You can’t be successful if you don’t take care of yourself adequately. Your child needs to know that he has a right and a responsibility to make his own needs a priority if he’s going to be successful.

    We’re often taught to put everyone else before ourselves. However, if you look at successful people, most of them don’t operate this way.

    Your child shouldn’t have to figure out everything on their own. They have you to teach them the ropes.

    Success is a skill that anyone can learn. 

    Related:

    darlingsteps.com/survive-motherhood

    darlingsteps.com/how-to-raise-girls-who-love-themselves

    darlingsteps.com/how-to-have-a-happy-home

    Teach your child to be successful. You’ll learn more about success in the process and enjoy a greater level of success yourself.

    darlingsteps.com/moms-create-habits

  • Simple Positive Parenting Hacks To Help Your Kids Thrive

    Whether you’re the parent of a toddler, young child, tween, or teenager, you’ll eventually encounter some challenges with your child. Don’t panic. It’s all a part of parenting! It’s natural for kids to test parents or other adults close by.

    If you want your children to improve, let them hear the nice things you say about them to others

    Haim Ginott

    Toddlers aged 3 to 4 present their own special parenting situations. Just learning to talk and state in simple terms what they need, toddlers require parents to use simple and immediate behavioral strategies to rein in their unruly behaviors.

    Young children aged 5 and 6 years have developed a little more self-control and soaked up more skills about what to do and not do. They’ll test parents on issues that are important to them. Young children observe and mimic others and will learn to handle anger and other feelings; however, their parents do.

    Older kids from age 7 to 11 span the gamut of well-behaved to manipulative. Around the age of 9 or 10, kids’ brains develop skills to reason and weigh out simple decisions. Parental tasks include being there to ensure fitting consequences follow behaviors of all kinds.

    By the tween and teen years, 12 and up, children are maturing into “mini-adults.” They can think for themselves and state what they want. Kids falling in the latter end of this age group have figured out how to manipulate adults to get their needs met. Hopefully, by this time, parents know what consequences best ensure their child will appropriately correct his behavior.

    If you’re familiar with plenty of positive parenting strategies, you’ll weather any parenting storm that arises.

    Applying positive parenting techniques to all of these age groups will help you raise a child who’s mostly respectful, well-behaved, and attentive to adults around them.

    Toddlers 3-4 Years Old:

    If you’re parenting a child in this age group, you’re likely aware of the parenting challenges presented. A toddler is all about “me” — what he wants is the most important thing. Toddlers do not yet understand that they cannot have everything they want when they want it.

    That being said, “easy” toddlers are those who really just kind of flow along with the program of the day, looking around, marveling at the world around them. They’ll take a cookie if you offer one but won’t necessarily demand one.

    Tough toddlers want what they want when they want it. If they don’t get it, they might kick, scream, shout “no,” or even slap at Mom or Dad. They might display tantrums.

    With children this young, the parent’s role is to begin to “shape” the child’s behavior into socially acceptable actions. In shaping, you reinforce successive approximations of behavior.

    What are Successive Approximations?

    Successive approximations are behaviors a child displays that are close or near to the behavior you seek. If the child is close to showing you the behavior you want, it’s time to provide reinforcement.

    What are Reinforcements?  

    Reinforcements are rewards that follow the desired behavior and will increase the likelihood the behavior will happen again in the future.

    Some reinforcers naturally occur, while others must be provided by parents.

    Here’s an example of a behavioral incident illustrating reinforcers:

    Four-year-old Johnny sometimes throws himself on the floor and screams for a candy bar when he’s in the check-out line at the grocery with Mom. However, today, he doesn’t do it. He stands quietly beside Mommy and chats about his Superman t-shirt. This is a perfect opportunity for Mom to reinforce Johnny’s behavior. On the way out of the store, Mom looks at Johnny and says, “Wow, Johnny! You did such a good job in the grocery store. Thanks for being such a good boy. Here’s a sticker to wear on your shirt (as she pulls a sticker out of her purse)!” 

    Notice that Mom didn’t mention how Johnny usually tantrums and demands a candy bar.

    After all, who wants to be reminded of their mistakes?

    In this scenario, Mom used several different reinforcers. Anyone of them would work to increase the likelihood that Johnny behaves well at the store in the future. Using several of them together is even smarter.

    The reinforcers used were:

    • Talking in a positive tone of voice
    • Smiling at Johnny and saying his name
    • Giving Johnny a compliment by telling him what he did well
    • Providing the tangible reinforcement of the sticker

    The really good news is there are hundreds of ways to reinforce the behavior you want in young children. Also, you can tailor reinforcers to each child’s individual needs, wants, likes, and dislikes.

    Here are more reinforcers for adults to use for 3 and 4-year-olds:

    • Playing a game
    • Reading a book
    • Giving a small treat
    • Going out for an ice cream cone
    • Going to play at the park
    • Taking a walk
    • Playing outdoors
    • Watching a cartoon
    • Viewing a video or favored animated film
    • Patting a child on the head
    • Giving a “high 5.”
    • Doing the “happy dance” 

    More Positive Parenting Techniques to Use with Toddlers 

    Consider the following behavioral strategies to begin to shape the behavior of your 3 and 4-year-olds:

    Reinforce desired behaviors or successive approximations

    As reinforcers have already been discussed, suffice it to say that if you want to use positive parenting with 3 and 4-year-olds, understand this concept. It works when applied periodically.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/get-kids-to-listen-without-yelling

    Mix it up

    smile, give a positive comment, provide a treat, or give a sticker. It’s especially effective when the child isn’t expecting it.

    Ignore undesirable behaviors

    This strategy seems to be one of the toughest for parents. If you’re at home and your child is yelling angrily, it’s often best to play it cool and calmly leave the room.

    If the child isn’t going to throw or break things or do anything to hurt himself, ignoring the behavior sends the message, “When you behave this way, you’ll get no attention from me.”

    In most cases of harmless, annoying behaviors, ignoring is the best way to go.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/what-to-do-when-your-child-misbehaves

    Use diversion

    An incredibly effective way to help 3 and 4-year-olds stop annoying behaviors is to use diversionary tactics. In simple terms, when he’s making that noise over and over again that drives you crazy, say, “Hey, Johnny. Let’s go play outside” or “Let’s go have some milk and cookies in the kitchen.”

    The wonderful thing about toddlers is adults can pretty easily divert their attentions to perform more acceptable behaviors. In fact, diversion works with some kids a few years older as well.

    Give a time-out

    If you watch television, you’ve most likely come across a show that uses the “naughty chair” as a way to discipline small children. However, you can also refer to the chair in a more neutral, less negative way. Call it the “time out” chair, for example, or any other creative and neutral name you prefer.

    Obtain a small chair to fit the size of the toddler. Store it out of the way as it’s to be used only when the toddler is given a time out. When the toddler “acts out,” or misbehaves, tell him in a neutral voice tone to sit in the time out chair. Basically, you’re introducing your toddler to the concept of “taking a time-out.”

    Time spent in the chair should be very quick, a maximum of one minute for each year of his age. Avoid talking to or maintaining eye contact with the toddler while he’s in the chair. Set a timer (microwave, cell phone or kitchen timer). When it dings, say, “Okay, you can get up now” and go about your business.

    It’s common for 3- and 4-year-olds to not sit in the chair on command. If you need to, take the child by the hand and walk her over to the chair. Gently sit her in the chair. Caution: If you’re feeling frustrated or angry, refrain from touching the child until you’ve got your cool back.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/how-to-discipline-ungrateful-children

    Avoid harboring negative feelings about the toddler or the behavior. Speaking of your cool, as much as you love your kids, it’s still challenging to refrain from forming trying feelings on occasion. However, it’s your responsibility to let go of these feelings as they’ll have no positive effect on your child. Remind yourself, “Kids will be kids,” let go, and move on.

    As much as you can, use reinforcement, ignoring, and diversion when parenting 3- and 4- year- olds. Also, introduce your toddler to the time-out chair so he’ll develop self-control and get prepared for success at school and in social arenas. 

    We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching

    Roy Smith

    Young Children 5-6 Years Old:

    You’ve made it through the toddler years and now have a young child that’s attending school. She’s going to be learning a lot at school and at home.

    Think of your parenting as an opportunity to teach your child how to control her own behavior. Rather than you controlling her, think of it as helping her be in control. In any given situation, ask yourself, “What should she learn now?”

    An important aspect of parenting is ensuring kids experience consequences for their behaviors. Consider this: If little Annie refuses to wear her raincoat outdoors on a school day when it’s raining and she goes outside, what will happen? She’ll get wet and most likely cold. The natural consequences of her behavior will most likely “teach” her to put on her raincoat the next time.

    Interestingly, parents sometimes intervene to try to override the natural consequences when allowing the child to experience them will teach the child a lesson more quickly and with much less fanfare. Consider the above raincoat example with Annie’s mother insisting, cajoling and pleading with Annie to put on her raincoat.

    Their conversation ends with Mom forcing Annie to put her arms in her raincoat and Annie fighting against it.

    By the time Annie leaves, she’s crying, stomping her feet and angry. What kind of day do you think she’ll have at school? Think of how different the day might go for Annie and Mom if Mom steps back and allows natural consequences to occur.

    More Positive Parenting Tips for Use with Children Aged 5-6 Years

    Check these hacks to parent your 5-6-year-old children more effectively.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/simple-positive-parenting-hacks-to-help-your-kids-thrive

    Choose your battles

    Ask yourself, what needs to happen now? Maybe I can do nothing, and the situation will resolve itself.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/why-picking-your-battles-is-important

    Allow natural consequences to occur

    If Stanley goes to school without combing his hair, other kids will most likely notice and say something to him about it. The peer pressure will most likely “encourage” Stanley to comb his hair before school in the future.

    If necessary, provide consequences swiftly

    If the situation requires you to give your child a consequence, do so right away and without emotion.

    Make the consequence fit the “crime.”

    With young children, keep consequences in perspective. It’s important not to go overboard with the idea of punishment. Rather think of how you can provide fitting consequences for the behavior. Let’s say you caught Stanley eating two cookies after you told him he’d had enough cookies.

    What type of consequences should you give?

    Sending him to time-out for 30 minutes is excessive. Depriving Stanley of today’s after-dinner dessert is just right.

    Issue a warning

    When a 5- or 6-year-old misbehaves, state briefly to him to stop the behavior. Add that if he repeats the behavior, he’ll get a consequence and tell him what it will be. This way, you’ve provided the child with an opportunity to make a better decision in the near future (not to do the behavior again).

    Here’s an example:

    If your 5 year old daughter slaps your 3 year old son, one way to handle it is to give your daughter a warning. Say something like, “Sally, it’s unacceptable to hit Tommy” or “You’re not allowed to hit your brother.” Then, say, “If you hit Tommy again, you’ll have to sit in the time-out chair.” Then, move on with whatever you were doing.

    • Expect testing behaviors. It’s normal for a child to test out what you’re saying from time to time. This is very important: be sure you follow through with the consequence you set whenever your child pushes the limits. Following through with this process helps children learn to accept authority.
    • Avoid setting consequences when you’re irritated or angry. You’re more likely to set too strict or too harsh of a consequence when you’re emotional. Give yourself some time to think clearly and rationally. Plus, if you set too harsh of a consequence, you won’t follow through with it because you know it isn’t fair.
    • Keep it short and sweet. Avoid giving lectures or providing in-depth info about why a child this young shouldn’t do a behavior. Most likely, they can’t intellectually follow everything you’re saying anyway. Parental lecturing is not part of a positive parenting strategy.
    • Remind the child what’s expected. If you consistently state in simple terms how the child is to behave when you’re in a particular situation, it can be helpful to little ones.
    •  Use stickers and behavior charts. Children in this age group respond beautifully to simple charts listing 3 or 4 behaviors you want them to work on. Parents put stickers on the chart when the child performs well on a particular behavior daily. At the end of the week, allow the child to choose his reward: go for ice cream, play at the park, or select a movie to watch.

    In order for the chart method to work, parents have to do the work by noticing the child’s behavior, putting up the stickers in a timely fashion, commenting on the behaviors, and following through with the big reward at the end of the week. Otherwise, kids will lose interest, and their behavior will slip.

    Use natural and applied consequences to rein in the behavior of 5- and 6-year-olds. Giving a warning, reminding of expectations, and using stickers as reinforcers are also effective positive parenting strategies for use with kids who’re just starting school.

    Kids spell love T-I-M-E

    John Crudele

    Children 7-11 Years Old:

    Children in this age group are more autonomous and often enjoy doing their own thing for short periods of time. Parents’ roles with this age group involve setting consistent behavior limits and allowing the child the space to makes some choices on his own.

    Consider the following hacks when parenting children aged 7 to 11 years old:

    Give rewards

    Remember to give rewards when kids behave as you desire. Those rewards/reinforcements tell the child he is displaying socially desirable behaviors.

    Continue to use behavior charts and stickers

    These charts and stickers can work on some kids as old as 9 or 10. However, in the event, you believe your child has outgrown this method of positive parenting, go ahead and discontinue it.

    More and more, set up choices

    As children mature, they want to feel more in control of their existence and their situation. You can increase your kids’ feelings of self-esteem and independence by presenting choices to them.

    If you set up choices that pair something that’s attractive to the child with a desired behavior, your child will show signs of happiness and maturity at the same time. Tell the child, “You can do A (behavior) and get Y (reinforce), or you can do B and get Z.”

    Here’s an example:

    “Miranda, you can either clean up your room this morning and have your friend, Sue, over this afternoon,” or you can clean your room this afternoon before dinner and then watch a video.” Miranda says, “Can I have Sue over for dinner?” You say, “No, not this time as we’re planning to have a family dinner out this evening.”

    In this example, Miranda can decide for herself when she wants to clean her room. Either way, the room gets cleaned, which is what you want done. However, if Miranda wants to have Sue over, she’ll need to get her room in order this morning.

    You can set up more sophisticated choices for kids as they mature. Also, you can use choices as ways to increase a child’s ability to weigh out decisions, which will come in handy as she approaches the teen years.

    Give time-outs

    Using time-outs are still quite helpful for kids of these ages. When planning a time-out setting, think of something that is “boring” for your child and where they are removed from others. It also must be easy to set up. One example of an effective time-out setting is the hallway outside of the laundry room. Place a chair in the hallway facing the wall.

    The child should not be able to see a television, listen to music, or watch people doing something during time out. Stick with the rule of one minute in time out for each year of age. If time out is boring enough, kids will not enjoy it, and therefore, the child will discontinue the undesirable behavior.

    Time out in a child’s room is likely not very effective since most kids’ rooms are packed with toys, techno-gadgets, a television, and books to read.

    Be specific

    With kids aged 7-11, be specific about what behavior you want. If you want the child to put his dishes in the sink after dinner, that needs to be spelled out. Let the child know it’s not okay to go play games on the computer after dinner and state he’ll put his dishes in the sink “later.” Be clear with your child about the behavior you want.

    Short explanations are okay

    Although brief explanations can be helpful, use caution in getting too elaborate with reasons children must do certain things. This is because children in this age group are beginning to develop reasoning skills and might possibly believe their own argument is a better argument than yours, which can lead to talking back or arguing.

    Know what motivates your child

    If your child loves to play computer games or go swimming, build those activities in as rewards/reinforcers for jobs and behaviors well done.

    Children 7 to 11 years of age are maturing at a fast rate. They can play independently and even help out with tasks at home. These children are usually able to grasp rules and simple instructions and follow through with clearly given requests. They can weigh out simple choices.

    Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy

    Robert A. Heinlein

    Related: darlingsteps.com/parentslistentokids

    Tweens & Teens 12+ Years old:

    The tween and teen years can be quite turbulent for kids. You may be tested and challenged in your efforts to be effective with your children. When you know well just what goals you’re striving for, parenting will be easier.

    Posting the rules, having clear expectations, negotiating if necessary, and allowing kids the opportunity to set their own consequences are the most effective ways to raise responsible, respectful kids.

    Post the rules

    By this age, your kids should, for the most part, know what you expect of them. But just in case, it’s wise to have the most important rules written down and posted on the refrigerator or in the family room.

    Make it clear

    When you’re specific about what you expect, it’s clearer cut for your tweens and teens. If the rule is, “Be in the house by 9:00 p.m.,” there’s very little the teen can question. A rule like, “Be home by dark” can be manipulated or stretched. Have the tween or teen read the rule aloud and explain what it means, so it’s clear to both of you.

    Negotiate in advance

    If your teen wants to negotiate a rule, the time to do it is before she violates the rule. Here’s an example: Your teen, Renee, thinks that being home by 9:00 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights is too strict. She wants the time extended to 10:00 p.m. on those nights.

    If Renee brings up this issue before she goes out on a Friday night, listen to what she has to say. Tell her you’ll think about it and talk with the other parent about it but that for tonight, the curfew will remain 9:00 p.m. Then, talk with the other parent and decide whether or not you believe her request is reasonable.

    What do the two of you think about Renee’s request? If she’s usually responsible, follows instructions cheerfully, and does well at school, you might be willing to consider extending her curfew on Friday and/or Saturday to 10:00 p.m. or maybe just 9:30 p.m.

    But what if she’s been getting lower grades recently and refusing to clean her room when asked? You might not be so sure about extending her curfew in this case.

    The point is that when you have a teen, it’s normal for her to sometimes want to increase time to be independent. As parents, you’ll need to decide if you believe she can handle additional freedom and be safe or not.

    If you believe she’s not yet ready for a later curfew, by all means, tell her so. Then, tell her diplomatically how she can earn the later curfew in the future.

    Allow teens and tweens to set their own consequences. This strategy can be interesting. Some teens will occasionally make a poor choice like skipping school or lying to an adult and getting caught. Since these might be situations that aren’t listed in your posted rules, as a parent, you’ll have to come up with an appropriate consequence.

    For tweens and teens who’re typically responsible and well-behaved, parents can ask the kids themselves what they believe is an adequate consequence. Don’t be surprised if the consequence your teen comes up with is actually harsher than the one you had in mind. Work with your teen to come up with a consequence that fits the misbehavior. 

    On the other hand, if your tween or teen has been acting out quite a bit and violating limits and boundaries, it usually works better for you to set the consequence rather than allowing the child to do so.

    Deprive them of privileges. Speaking of consequences, depriving tweens and teens of privileges is one of the most effective ways to help them display more acceptable behavior.

    If your 16-year-old son comes in 30 minutes late, deprive him of the privilege of driving for a few days. If your 12-year-old daughter uses foul language, deprive her of her beloved computer time for the rest of the day.

    Listen well

    Kids in this age group often want to talk to someone. Be there for them just to listen. Try to turn off that evaluative, judging side. Otherwise, your child will gradually stop talking to you during these years he needs you the most.

    Give plenty of verbal boosts

    Tweens and teens are under unbelievable peer pressure at school. They need all the encouragement, love, and respect you can give them on a daily basis to bolster their confidence and self-esteem. Keep this idea in your mind every day. You’ll never know what you might have helped your kid through simply by being positive.

    Refuse to debate or argue

    Because teens are maturing rapidly, they often develop strong and emotional feelings about things. Parents have the most positive effect by not engaging in a debate or argument with their teens. Doing so rarely results in anything helpful and can even be destructive to your relationship with your teen. Avoid pointless debates and arguments.

    Parenting tweens and teens is quite challenging but brings great rewards!

    Posting rules, being specific about what you want, negotiating in advance, depriving them of privileges, listening well, and providing plenty of positive talk will contribute successfully to your tweens’ and teens’ emotional growth and maturity.

    Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry

    Alvin Price

    Regardless of the age of your children, using positive parenting methods will help you shape your kids into contributing members of society. Keeping your cool, being positive by avoiding debates/arguments, and providing choices for your children as they grow will result in raising emotionally healthy and confident young people.

    Apply these positive parenting techniques when parenting. If you do, your children will grow up in a stable home filled with consistency, respect, and love.

    The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants  

    Shakespeare
  • 8 Steps To Help Your Child With Self-Esteem

    Steps to Positive Self Esteem: How Can I Help My Child Develop Positive Self-Esteem?

    Self-esteem comes from within. It isn’t something we can give our children, but we can foster it by teaching them the skills they need to gain confidence. Part of that process entails allowing them the freedom to make choices – and to fail.

    Learning from failure is part of the process. For those who have illusions of control over their kids, this can be difficult. Control is often disguised as protection or safety, which is part of parenting, but within limits.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/everything-you-didnt-know-raise-happy-confident-kids

    Step 1: Communicate Expectations with Accountability Clearly

    Expectations lead to accountability. Be clear about your expectations. Ensure you both agree on the expectations. If needed, spell it out step-by-step. This is part of teaching kids what you want them to do, rather than just punishing them for doing it wrong, or different, from your wishes.

    “Each day, I want you to bring your books home, along with the assignments for each class. After you finish your snack, do your homework. When I get home at 6:00, I will review your assignments for the next day. If they are not complete, you will not have any phone, tv, or computer time until everything is complete. Any questions?”

    “For every day that your assigned chores are completed before bed, you will earn $2. If the chores are not completed, you receive no allowance for that day.”

    If needed, outline specifically what needs to be done for a chore to be considered complete, such as, “Make your bed, pick up everything lying around, and put clothes away or in the hamper.”

    Step 2. Get All the Adults on the Same Page

    Clear rules and expectations should be agreed upon by all adults, including grandparents and sitters.

    Help others understand that inconsistency leads to many problems, not the least of which is teaching your kids how to manipulate people and decrease the possibility of producing responsible, confident adults.

    If there are disagreements, work it out without your child suffering the consequences of adults letting them down.

    Step 3. Be Consistent. Follow Through and Negotiate any Changes Explicitly

    Your kids must take responsibility for their choices – and you do, too. If you make it clear that homework will be checked when you get home from work, check the homework. Do it every day. Hold up your end of the deal. Show them that school is a priority.

    If you’re inconsistent in following the guidelines you put in place, you’re sending a message that this issue is not important – and that you can’t be trusted to follow through with your responsibilities. You’re inadvertently teaching your child that you aren’t trustworthy.

    The result is mixed messages and a child who may take advantage of this by slacking off on their end of the deal.

    If there’s a ballgame or another extracurricular activity after school and homework needs to be done at a different time, make that explicit. Make clear plans in advance whenever possible. “Do your homework after dinner tomorrow since you’ll be late getting home.”

    Related: darlingsteps.com/what-are-you-teaching-your-child-by-being-inconsistent

    Step 4. Allow Them to Experience the Natural Consequences That Arise From Their Choices

    You must be willing to let them fail. This is where most people stop nodding in agreement.

    This requires that your self-esteem can withstand any judgment from teachers, family, friends, and others. And, that you understand that you have a limited amount of control over another human, even your child.

    You also must be willing to tolerate the conflict it may cause in your home and family.

    With any luck, you may only have to allow this to go to the extreme a few times before they get the message. For example, your child will begin to realize that it is their responsibility to do what is required for school, and that you won’t protect them from the consequences of their actions and choices.

    “It’s time for bed. I see that your homework still isn’t complete. You’ll have to go to school tomorrow and tell the teachers that you didn’t complete your homework.”

    “If you receive detention, you’ll need to serve it. If you get a failing grade, you’ll need to work harder the rest of the year to recover. The coach will drop you from the roster for the year. If you don’t get credit for the class, you may have to repeat it in summer school – and earn the money to pay for it.”

    Stand firm – get all adults in agreement.

    Step 5. Help Them Learn From Their Failures and Shortcomings

    Failing is most helpful when we learn something from it. We all must learn to live with our decisions and actions, or inaction. If and when they’re willing, ask your children to tell you what they learned from the experience.

    However, avoid asking this when the tension is high. After the incident, find a teachable moment in which to discuss it. Talk about how they can handle this situation differently in the future.

    They may make the wrong choice again and again. If so, at some point, they will finally realize that when they make that choice, they’re also choosing the consequences that go with it.

    We all make choices that are not the best option – even though we know the consequences. That happens. Learn to let go and always love them while sticking to your standards, even when you’re disappointed, and they’re miserable.

    “Are you ready to talk about what went wrong and what you can do differently next time?” If not, let it go and say, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk about it.”

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    Step 6. Encourage Good Behavior and Avoid Reinforcing Bad Behavior

    “Catch them being good” is a phrase that can’t be overstated. When your kids do things that you want to see more of, thank them. Tell them you appreciate them and use your words to describe what you like. “I appreciate it when your chores are done early, and we can relax after dinner.”

    Reinforce their efforts even when they miss the mark. “I know you tried your best on the math test. Maybe your teacher can offer some guidance on what you missed.”

    Be careful that you don’t inadvertently lower the expectations.

    For example, the expectation is that chores are done before bed, so avoid going overboard with praise for doing what is expected. Acknowledge it with a simple “Thanks for cleaning your room today.” Hopefully, you’re already reinforcing this behavior, such as with a weekly allowance.

    Completing the chores early and without any stress is something you want to praise and reinforce – going beyond the minimum.

    Related: daringsteps.com/10-skills-every-kids-needs-to-know

    Step 7. Set up Opportunities for Your Child to Succeed

    Allow children to make choices from an early age, within reason. “You need to put on a coat before leaving for school. Do you want to wear the red or green one?” This doesn’t give them the option to go without a coat. It’s a safe way to teach decision-making.

    As they get older, the choices become riskier, but that is part of the developmental cycle. Those who begin making decisions at an early age will develop more confidence, and therefore, are more likely to take calculated risks.

    Giving them more choices within reason builds more confidence.

    If they mess up a lot, say coming home at 10 instead of 8:30, you can easily say “I may have overestimated how much freedom you can handle right now. Weekend curfew will be 7:00 now, and we’ll revisit this when you demonstrate the ability to adhere to that curfew for a while.”

    Related: darlingsteps.com/boostkidsconfidence

    Step 8. Love Them Anyway

    Learn to detach from the outcome. Do what you can to uphold your responsibility to your children and accept that you can’t control the outcome.

    Always separate the behavior from the child.

    I don’t like what you did, but I love you

    The Self-Esteem Ladder

    • Expectations lead to accountability.
    • Accountability leads to responsibility.
    • Responsibility leads to choices.
    • Choices lead to consequences.
    • Consequences lead to critical thinking.
    • Critical thinking leads to taking more calculated risks.
    • Taking risks leads to success and failure.
    • Success and failure lead to learning.
    • Learning leads to growth.
    • Growth leads to confidence.
    • Confidence leads to expectations.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/everything-you-didnt-know-raise-happy-confident-kids

    What’s Next:

    Consider these self-reflection questions in your endeavor to promote positive self-esteem in your children:

    1. How often do you provide opportunities for your child to learn by allowing them to make decisions on their own?
    1. How well do you uphold your responsibilities by being clear about expectations and consequences, following through, and working together with other adults?
    1. How do you talk about mistakes and failures to help your children learn?
    1. Do you always separate the misdeed from the child?
    1. In what ways do you show that you appreciate their efforts when they do their best?
    1. How do you reinforce good behavior and choices?
    1. Do you allow your kids to experience negative consequences for choices and behavior? In what situations is this more difficult for you?

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    Be honest with yourself. If you wish to experience improvement in any area, set some goals and get help with parenting, if needed. Your children deserve it!