Kids

Raising Kids That Thrive


Children Are Beautiful Mini-Cloned Versions Of Their Parents. Are You Proud Of Your Little Joyful Creation?


I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO:

Stay Positive
I’ll Help You Parent With Intention, So You Can Raise Your Littles Without Stress Or Losing Your Sh*t.

Raise Culturally Sound Kids
Learn how to help your kids be mindful of others. Learn to love and embrace everyone’s differences (instead of ignoring or dismissing them).

Have Fun
Discover how to have fun in ways that aren’t boring or repetitive!

Develop A Growth Mindset
Learn how to reframe your minds, shift perspectives and GROW that brain!

Your Kids Are Blessed To Have YOU!

  • Top 10 Reasons You Need To Get a Pet For Your Kids

    Here are some valid reasons you should actually get a pet for your children!

    Having a pet requires responsibility, but there are so many benefits associated with owning a pet that everyone should consider it. The right pet can add to your health, happiness, and sense of wellbeing. Pets can be entertaining and a great conversation starter, too.

    If you’re thinking about getting a pet, consider these good things that having a pet can do for you!

    See how a pet can be a wonderful addition to your life:

    Your pet is always happy to see you

    Consider how good you feel when someone’s obviously happy to see you. You can have that feeling every day!

    Pets are accepting

    Your pet doesn’t care in the least if you have acne, if you’re bald, if you’re blind, overweight, or if you smell funny. Your pet loves you exactly the way you are.

    A pet can help you to meet other people

    When you love an animal, you have something in common with a lot of people. More stores and outdoor restaurants are accepting of customers with dogs. Bring your dog to the store and notice how many people start a conversation with you.

    Pets are great for your health

    Petting a dog or cat lowers your pulse and blood pressure. Your children are also less likely to develop asthma or allergies. Even adults develop a stronger immune system when exposed to pet dander.

    A pet can be an inexpensive friend

    Many pets are inexpensive or even free. And while they might have a few medical expenses here and there, most pets are healthier than most humans. The medical care is much less expensive, too.

    Pets reduce stress

    A pet always loves you. It always listens to you. It never judges you. You can tell all your secrets to your pet, and they will never betray your confidence. They are also wonderful distractions from any challenges you may be facing.

    Pets are entertaining

    Many pets can learn tricks. Dogs love to chase balls. Cats like to chase birds. Each animal has their own unique personalities and quirks. Pets can make you laugh and smile on a daily basis.

    A dog can keep you safer

    Dogs hear everything and bark whenever anything unusual is seen or heard. Most burglars, muggers, and other nefarious people would rather avoid locations with dogs. Just having a dog might save your life someday. Even cats have successfully saved their people from disaster.

    A pet gives you a reason to get out of bed each day

    If you’re feeling down, a pet can give you a reason to keep going. Pets can’t feed themselves. They need water. Some of them need to go outside to relieve themselves. A pet needs your help. It can serve as motivation to pull yourself together.

    A pet requires few responsibilities

    Put some food and water in a couple of bowls and dinner is served. A dog doesn’t need to be changed. A cat can spend a few days alone with enough food and water available. Most pets go to sleep without any issues.

    There’s no reason to limit yourself to a dog, cat, or bird!

    Many people prefer reptiles, fish, rodents, or insects. Follow your interests but understand what a particular type of pet will need. If you travel a lot, some pets can go weeks without attention, such as snakes.

    Keep your mind open. There is a perfect pet to match your preferences and lifestyle. Your new best friend isn’t far away!

  • Calm Your Kids Without Using Electronics

    How Do You Calm Your Kids Without Shoving An iPad In Their Face?

    Pulling out the tablet is often the easiest thing to do when your child starts to fuss. I know how challenging it is. But, it’s better in the long run if you handle these situations differently now.

    We’ve all heard the doctor’s recommendations about limiting screen time for kids (although its way harder to implement in real life. Am I right?) But the context matters just as much.

    The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against relying exclusively on media devices to calm children. It may hinder their ability to learn how to manage their emotions on their own.

    Honestly, these things are bound to backfire on us anyway. So why keep using them? Studies have shown that playing games and watching videos for extended amounts of time contributes to behavior issues. Including but not limited to- hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and difficulties with paying attention.

    ADHD anyone? I’m convinced that kids are being misdiagnosed every day but that’s another discussion for another day.

    Related: End The Power Struggles With Your Kids

    So. What’s a parent to do when kids are bored at home or about to throw a tantrum at the supermarket? Let’s get to the nitty-gritty and share what works for me:

    What To Do WITH Your Child

    Limiting screen time can be tough when you’re surrounded by devices at home and away.

    Be prepared with a variety of technology-free options that you can use:

    Be Empathetic

    Give your child your full attention when they need to talk with you. If circumstances prevent that, let them know you want to sit down together as soon as possible. Validate their feelings even if you disapprove of their behavior.

    Let Them Cry It Out

    Teach your child that strong emotions are natural. Give them a chance to find their own solutions. They’re likely to settle down faster if YOU stay calm.

    Arrange Playdates and Movement-Based Activities

    Solo screen time sometimes crowds out the social experiences that are essential to your child’s development. Encourage your child to hang out with friends and participate in after school activities.

    Give Them a Chore Chart

    In addition to teaching responsibility, routine tasks can be soothing. Structure, schedules, and repetition support a child’s development. Prepare meals together or assign each child a day to vacuum, etc.

    Related: This is what you’re doing to your kids when you’re inconsistent

    Related: This is why a routine is important

    Read Books

    Brain scans show that reading is associated with the superior structure in white matter cells responsible for learning. Keep books around the house and use your library card. At least 15 minutes a day will make ALL the difference.

    Go Outdoors

    Nature and exercise both relieve stress. Take a family bicycle trip or play catch in your backyard.

    Make Crafts

    Expressing creativity is another way to relax. Browse online for project ideas and repurpose household materials like fabric and gift-wrapping paper. Pinterest, anyone?

    Encourage Mindfulness

    Introduce your children to meditation and yoga. Walk around your living room slowly chanting happy words. Do simple stretches and breathing exercises. If you prefer prayer, use that instead or a combination of both!

    Enforce Bedtimes

    Children engaged in excessive screen time tend to go to bed later, fall asleep slower, and get fewer hours of sleep each night, according to The National Sleep Foundation. Set a curfew for turning off electronic devices at least two hours before bedtime.

    What To Do For Yourself

    Your children pay more attention to your actions than your words. Consider how your daily habits affect your children, so you can provide a positive role model.

    Try these:

    Give Your Undivided Attention

    Your time and attention are the most valuable things you can give to your children. Plan family activities and one-on-one outings. Staying connected will help your child to feel safe and calm.

    Related: The Right (& easy) Way To Listen To Your Child

    Slow Down

    What are the mornings like at your house? Children are more likely to cooperate when you plan for enough time to avoid rushing around.

    Design a Family Plan

    Create a “family contract” for media use in your home. Agree to basic rules for using electronic devices, so you can make technology your ally.

    Educational cartoon shows, movies, and games can be fine in moderation. However, teaching your children to manage their emotions and entertain themselves offline will prepare them for a healthier and happier life in the future.

  • How To Adapt From Classrooms To Online Class

    Help Your Kids Excel in Online Learning

    All over the world, millions of students have had to shift from a physical classroom to an online classroom. And while many teachers have gotten quick crash courses on how to teach online- parents play a huge role in making sure their kids are retaining that information.

    Are you struggling to balance your day with managing working and helping your child complete their school work?

    Try these to make your life a little easier:

    Plan and Prepare

    Whether or not your school sent your child home with devices and materials for completing their assignments, you’ll need to provide plenty of structure and a boatload of motivation. Now, don’t fret. There isn’t a need to attempt to recreate the “school classroom” culture at home. Unless you want to of course. So, no need to worry. The focus is to find a rhythm that works for YOUR family!

    Consider these things to get yourself in order and structure your day in the most effective way possible:

    Schedule your days

    Stick to your usual routines as much as possible, including bedtimes and mealtimes. This is the only time where we’ll stick as close to your child’s school schedule as possible. It’s important to rise at the same time every day and let your child know you expect them to log in on time for classes each morning. Then, you’ll eat at the same time your child eats at school. And your kiddos can have a “break” for things like tv, bath, playtime, etc. when they are all done with their work. Ideally, everyone should go to bed at normal times.

    Arrange your space

    Designate an area just for school. It may be a room or a section of the dining room table as long as it’s quiet and comfortable. Stock up on supplies like notebooks, pens, and calculators. No need to get fancy or create a classroom feel as I said before unless that’s what you want!

    Limit distractions

    Ban games and movies during class time. Keep in mind that some children may learn better with a little background music too. There are many apps available on apple, windows, android, and iOS products that can limit/control the amount of time spent in apps. For background music, we love brain.fm. This site and app offers a trial to test it out. There’s also always youtube where you can type in and search specifically for “focus music” or “binaural beats.”

    Enjoy recess

    Breaks and lunch hours are essential! Serve healthy food and provide lots of fun options for physical exercise. Frequent breaks may be helpful if your child is more on the antsy side.

    Be social

    How can your child maintain their friendships? Use technology for group study sessions, video chats, and virtual playdates. You can use free services such as zoom, google meet, jitsi, and many others to connect with family and friends online.

    Contact your school

    Ask school officials and teachers about the most effective way to communicate with them and stay in touch regularly. Find out what resources are available for collaborating with other parents.

    Basic Study Skills

    Teach your child to learn effectively. Strong study skills will be a valuable asset online, offline, and in their future careers.

    Strengthen study skills with these techniques:

    Give practice tests

    Many studies show that testing yourself is one of the most productive ways to learn. Design questions together. Treat quizzes like a game to reduce anxiety if your child gets nervous with the thought of testing.

    Conduct reviews

    Prepare for tests by going over past material on a regular basis. Your child is more likely to forget their lessons if they cram at the last minute.

    Create outlines

    Identify key facts and major themes. Building a framework increases reading comprehension and strengthens writing skills. This will encourage critical thinking! We always need more of that.

    Proofread and edit

    Review your child’s completed assignments before they’re submitted. Make revisions together until they’re comfortable doing it on their own. But, always double-check just in case.

    Evaluate your progress

    Give your child constructive feedback. Discuss teacher comments and test results. Ask your child to describe their strengths and weaknesses. Set specific goals like reading a certain number of pages each day or looking up unfamiliar vocabulary words.

    Passion Projects

    Take advantage of the opportunity to spend more time with your child. Create happy memories and nurture their personal interests.

    Consider these ideas:

    Browse for resources

    Even if field trips are on hold, there are vast collections online for any subject your child loves. Delve deeper into dinosaurs or sports nutrition.

    Be selective

    At the same time, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by your choices. Start out with a few reliable sources or ask your child’s teacher for recommendations. For example, you might want to explore the PBS Parents Play and Learn App for younger kids and Great Courses for their older siblings.

    Show enthusiasm

    Make learning a fun activity that draws you closer together. Reward your child’s efforts with prizes like stickers or baking their favorite dessert. Hang their artwork on your refrigerator door and applaud when they read you their book reports.

    While circumstances may change, the importance of education remains the same. Help your child to gain knowledge and skills that will enable them to have a positive impact on the world.

    Be patient with yourself, and stay connected as you make the transition to online learning!

  • Kids and Screentime

    Kids and screens: Think you know it all? Think again, Here’s Everything You Never Considered (& all the tips you need)

    It’s happened to plenty of parents. The day goes by, and you realize that your kids have spent the better part of the day on a tablet, watching TV, or playing video games. 

    You don’t want them to spend that much time on screens – but it’s hard to get things done when you’re dealing with kids fighting and making messes, or kids distracting you from your other responsibilities.

    If you’re working from home, the schools are closed, and your kids are home all day, this situation is especially frustrating.

    It can also be discouraging when you’re confronted with anger or frustration when you tell them that screen time is over. 

    What’s a good solution for moms and dads who want to limit their kids’ screen time but don’t want to lose their sanity?

    I’ll help you discover practical solutions to these difficult issues.

    You’ll be armed with tools to help your kids put the screens down and spend their time doing other worthwhile and meaningful things. You’ll also find that you have more time to spend as a family – a gift that will benefit every member of your household. 

    What’s the Problem With Screens and Why Do Kids Love Them?

    Screens aren’t evil – but in previous years, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that children five or younger only have one hour of screen time a day. They suggested that children over five limit their screen time to two hours a day.

    Today their guidelines have been shifting as they recognize that we live in a digital age where kids younger than two can access cell phones and tablets. 

    There’s no rules about how much time kids should spend on screens. 

    And if you have a day when your kids spend a lot of time on screens, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed as a parent. 

    Though we do live in a digital age, you may be wondering if your kids spend too much time on screens. Should you limit them in any way, or should you embrace the age of technology? 

    You may also be wondering why kids love screens so much, and why it can be difficult to reduce the number of hours they spend watching them. 

    Let’s take a look at why kids and adults both love screens. Next, we’ll talk about some of the potential issues with unlimited screen time, and finally, we’ll look at some of the results of limiting screen time.

    Related: Darlingsteps.com/moms-and-phone-addiction

    Why Do Kids Love Screens So Much?

    Have you ever stopped to wonder why people (kids and adults alike) become so addicted to screens?

    What makes us want to constantly check our phones, and why do we press “continue watching” on Netflix after we’ve already watched three episodes? 

    Consider television. Television has been around since the 1920s, and by the 1950s, many homes in America had a television. Over the years, television has become increasingly more popular. 

     While at one time famous actors would have felt that TV shows weren’t as esteemed as the movies, they now embrace the incredible roles they play on the small screen. With the invention of streaming services, it’s never been easier to watch the flat screen for hours on end. 

    So, what’s so appealing about television that keeps us wanting to watch? 

    Scientists, psychologists, and anthropologists have been studying the trend of binge-watching.

    They identify several key reasons why people love to crash on the couch and binge:

    1. Escapism. TV provides us a way to escape our lives and enter into new adventures and scenarios. 
    1. Writers are good at getting us hooked. TV today is all about compelling storylines and cliffhangers that captivate us. We can’t turn away because the stories are too fascinating. We always want to see what comes next. 
    1. TV watching feels good. When you’re watching TV and relaxing it just feels good. This feeling is caused by the dopamine effect, and watching TV triggers this reaction. Dr. Renee Carr, Psy. D., a clinical psychologist is quoted saying

    When engaged in an activity that’s enjoyable such as binge-watching, your brain produces dopamine…This chemical gives the body a natural, internal reward of pleasure that reinforces continued engagement in that activity. When binge-watching your favorite show, your brain is continually producing dopamine, and your body experiences a drug-like high. You experience a pseudo-addiction to the show because you develop cravings for dopamine.

    Dr. Renee Carr

    This dopamine effect happens often when we engage with screens. We get a hit of dopamine each time we get a notification from a social media app or when we get a text message from a friend. 

    These feelings make us want to keep coming back to them so we can continue getting that feeling. 

    Kids get the same dopamine effect from screens. 

    When they watch TV, they’re getting those same good feelings. They also experience the dopamine effect when they level up in a video game. 

    Besides a biological response to screens, kids are also dealing with something that some of their parents did not experience. They’re growing up in a digital age where screens are absolutely everywhere. 

    A small child is hardwired to use cell phones and tablets. It’s fascinating watching a toddler learn how to navigate a piece of technology quickly and without direction. Technology is simply a part of their childhood in a way that it wasn’t for many parents – especially parents that grew up without smartphones and the internet. 

    Learning technology is important in this day and age, and your children will benefit from understanding it. Even so, there are potential issues with not limiting your child’s screen time.

    Why Should You Limit Screen Time for Your Kids?

    Not everyone agrees on a certain number of hours that a child should spend playing video games or watching TV, but most experts agree that unlimited screen time can lead to several issues. 

    Some of these issues include: 

    • Sleep challenges
    • Obesity
    • Behavioral issues
    • Emotional issues
    • Developmental delays

    Many parents anecdotally report that kids that spend a lot of time on screens become cranky and difficult to manage. In some cases, they’re more likely to fight with siblings or dissolve into tantrums. 

    Some experts believe that one of the biggest issues with screen time is the amount of time spent on devices. While they could be doing things like learning, exercising, or developing new skills, they’re planted in front of a device instead. 

    Other studies have shown that screen time – especially for younger children – can lead to developmental delays such as delayed language skills. 

    Experts who study the effects of screens for kids note the quality of the screen time matters. 

    If your child is watching high-quality educational TV or interacting with educational games, the time spent can have positive returns. 

    Technology is going to be a part of your child’s life as our world becomes more dependent on it. The main thing is to make sure that your child is given the opportunity to spend time doing other life-enriching things as well.

    Create Beneficial Family Screen Habits

    Keeping kids from spending too much time in front of a screen works best when it’s a family decision. Kids learn from parents and older siblings, and if the older family members are on their cell phones most of the day, that’s what they will want to do also. 

    We often think that screen time should be limited for kids, but we don’t as often think about the parents as well. 

    Too much screen time can have similar negative effects on adults as it does on kids, so limiting screen time for everyone just makes sense. 

    There are a number of ways to help both parents and children lessen their time in front of screens. Here are a few practical ways to make it a family-wide plan.

    Use Apps to Limit Screen Time

    There are quite a few apps that can help you limit the amount of time that you and your kiddos spend on screens.

    If you have an iPhone or an iPad, you can use your Screen Time app to figure out how much time you’re spending on your phone on average per day. Go ahead and check how much time you spend on your phone. The results may surprise you!

    The Apple Screen Time app can also be very beneficial in helping you limit screen time. The app allows you to have a daily “downtime” on your phone when most of the apps are greyed out. You can bypass the downtime, but it’s a good reminder to put your phone down. 

    The Screen Time app also allows you to set daily limits for certain apps. For example, if you spend a lot of time on social media, you can use the app to only allow you to use them for a determined amount of time each day. 

    In addition to these features, the Apple Screen Time app can also be shared across devices. This lowers the temptation to use up a time limit on one device and simply switch to another. 

    Other apps or devices include:

    • The Circle
    • OurPact
    • AppDetox
    • unGlue
    • Qustodio 
    • Norton Family 
    • Net Nanny
    • Video game consoles like the Switch also have parental controls for limiting screen time.

    Create “No Screen” Times

    Another simple way to lower screen time is to pick times of the day when no one is using them. A common time to put away devices is during mealtimes. 

    In fact, it would be most beneficial to leave them in another room. 

    To encourage this, you can have a basket where all devices are to be placed during mealtimes. This will help reduce the temptation to pick it up and check it if you receive a notification. Unless it’s a phone call that needs to be answered, the phones aren’t necessary during this time.  

    All snaps, messages, emails, and social media notifications can be placed on hold for family time. 

    Other times of day that you might choose to put away devices and screens include:

    • First thing in the morning 
    • In the evening hours when everyone is at home (perhaps from the hours 6-9 pm)
    • On the weekends (except for phone calls or important messages) 
    • In the afternoon during homework and dinner prep
    • For older kids, set up a schedule of no screen time until after homework is finished. 
    • For younger kids, schedule screen time for after naps or later in the afternoon.

    Blocking out these times during the day or week will set boundaries between your family and screens. Knowing that a screen isn’t an option will make it easier for them to fill their time with other things. 

    What to Do With All the Devices 

    One of the things that parents say is difficult about managing screen time is the huge selection of devices available to children. There are kindles, Leapfrog pads, laptops, iPad, cell phones, video game systems, televisions, and the list goes on and on. 

    Even if you banish your child from one screen, they can easily find another. You may not even be aware that they’ve traded one for the other.

    There are a few ways to combat this issue: 

    1. Keep all devices in a particular spot. Pick a place in the house where everyone puts their portable devices like laptops, tablets, handheld video games, and cell phones. These devices can be checked out as needed, but then put back at the end of their screen time.
    2.  Bring fewer screens into the home. It’s tempting to want to buy the newest video games for our kids and equip them with fun tablets that we know they’ll love. However, each new device you bring into the home is another one that needs to be monitored.
    3.  Have one family desktop computer that is in a central place of the house. Putting it in a common area will help you keep track of who is on the computer and discourage misuse of the computer. You can easily see if they’re using the computer for schoolwork or video games, for instance. 

    These are simple methods, but they do take some thoughtfulness and even a little sacrifice. 

    Allow Kids to Entertain Themselves

    Have you ever heard the term “self-directed play” before? Self-directed play refers to playtime, where the child gets to set the terms. Instead of a parent constantly entertaining a child or telling them what to do, they let the child make their own choices about how to play. 

    It may not seem like it, but boredom can actually be a good thing! Usually, when we think of boredom, we think of our kids terrorizing the house, tormenting their siblings, or making big messes. Your kids may also whine until you give them something to do. 

    Despite this, studies have found that boredom can be beneficial and self-directed play can be great for a child’s development. 

    Let’s take a closer look at why boredom is beneficial, and how to maintain a peaceful home during child-led activities.

    The Science Behind Why Boredom is Good

    Boredom is an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes when people are bored, it leads them to make poor decisions. On the other hand, scientists have found that boredom can actually be quite useful and a necessary part of a child’s development. 

    What happens when you allow a child to be bored? Chances are they’re going to find something to do. They don’t want to be bored, so they’ll work to change their circumstances. Children are naturally creative and imaginative. You don’t have to trick them into playing or entertaining themselves. 

    An article in Science Daily covered a scientific study conducted by Dr. Sandi Mann. In the study, Dr. Mann discovered that boredom can make humans more creative. Dr. Mann asked participants to complete a boring writing task for the study. After they completed the task, she noted that the control group was notably more creative. 

    Dr. Mann also had an opinion about children and is quoted saying: 

    Unlike so many parents today, I am quite happy when my kids whine that they are bored. Finding ways to amuse themselves is an important skill.

    Here are some good things that can come from boredom

    • Daydreaming
    • Creativity
    • New hobbies
    • Relaxation
    • Innovation
    • Conversations
    • New interests
    • Discovery
    • Beneficial screen habits

    This all sounds great, but what is child-led play, and how do you keep your child from making poor choices when they’re in control of their play?

    What Does Child-Led Play Actually Mean?

    Many people wonder what child-led play looks like in practice. Does it mean ignoring your kids all day? Does it mean letting them do whatever they want?

    The answer to the question varies by child, age, and location. For example, a ten-year-old child in a rural area may have more freedom than a three-year-old child in an urban one. The ten-year-old may be allowed to play outside freely in the country, but a three-year-old in the city probably doesn’t have the same opportunity. 

    That being said, child-led play does not mean that a parent does nothing. It just means giving kids the freedom to explore and entertain themselves. 

    Use these strategies to help your child grow in playing independently:

    1. Give them uninterrupted playtime. It’s good for parents to interact with their kids and encourage learning, but sometimes it’s good to let them think things through on their own.
    2.  Instead of always asking them to identify colors, shapes, sounds, and so on during playtime, let them choose how they want to play and what they want to discover. The more they’re able to play independently, the more peaceful your home will be.
    1. You don’t always need to provide feedback. Children look to adults for the right and wrong way to do things. When it comes to morality or things that can harm a child, it’s the parent’s job to direct their child. Naturally your job as a parent is also to teach them important life skills.
    2.  In some areas, it’s okay to let a child come to their own conclusions. For example, if your child paints a picture, you may feel the need to critique it. Instead, allow them to tell you about the picture. Comment on the things you see but avoid telling them if the picture is good or bad.
    3. You may be surprised by how much they open up when they’re able to tell you about the thing they created instead of just waiting for your approval.
    1. Provide your child with materials and toys that can be used in a variety of ways. Children can be immensely creative when it comes to playtime. Give your child a baby doll, and they will care for it, play with it, and come up with interesting scenarios for its life.
    2.  Still, some toys are more conducive to child-led play because they have so many possibilities. A baby doll may remain a baby doll in a child’s mind, but a cardboard box has the potential to become many things.
    3. Provide your kids with toys and materials that they can use in many different ways. Blocks, legos, playdough, string, sticks, and rocks can be turned into almost anything.  

    Teach Good Habits to Keep Boredom From Turning Into Chaos

    You know the scenario. You’re washing the dishes in one room, and your children are actively destroying the rest of the house. There are toys everywhere. They used markers on the wall, and there’s a mystery stain on the carpet. Putting on the TV would have been way easier. 

    Allowing your kids to be bored or giving them the opportunity to self-direct their own playtime does not mean abandoning them. 

    It doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want and then wringing your hands in frustration at the results.  

    Let’s talk about how you can keep child-led activities from turning into a nightmare. Screen time can be a bit of relief for parents, but you can absolutely be productive without turning to a tablet. 

    One of the most concrete ways to do this is to establish good habits with your kids.

    Here’s how: 

    1. Teach kids to clean up after themselves. Start young with your kids. Teach them that when they get something out, they have to put it away when they’re finished.
    2.  Make it easy to clean up. Make cleanup easy by having specific places for their belongings. Open-top bins are a perfect landing place for things like building blocks or loose toys.
    3. Set boundaries. Teach your children from a young age what is and isn’t appropriate in your home. Have reasonable, age-appropriate expectations and enforce reasonable consequences. Be consistent with your consequences, so they know what to expect.
    4.  You can even discuss expectations and consequences with your child during a time when things are calm, and they aren’t in trouble. Get their input into how they want to improve in areas like listening and responsibility.
    5. Children like limits and they also like feeling like they are active participants in their own life.
    6.  Use goal or responsibility charts. Instead of constantly reminding your children to clean up their room, have a chart on the wall that they can see. On the chart, have a checklist of things you’d like them to do each day. For little ones, you can use pictures instead of words.
    7.  Their responsibilities may include cleaning up toys, making their bed, and putting away laundry. As they finish them, they can check the item off the list. Without needing to say anything, you can see if they’re doing what you’ve asked.  

    Good habits take time to develop. 

    It won’t be an overnight success, just as it takes time to establish new good habits as an adult. However, the effort you put in will produce good results as time passes. These are habits that your child can take well beyond childhood.

    Now, let’s look at parent-led activities. These are things you can set up for your kids or do with your kids that will help them limit their screen time. 

    Activities to Do Instead of Screen Time

    You kicked your kids off the iPad, and now they’re looking to you for what to do. You’ve started allowing the kids to play independently, but you still want some great alternatives to screen time in your arsenal. Remember, weaning off-screen time is harder at the beginning, but it gets much easier over time. 

    Having as many alternative ideas in your back pocket as you can is a great step in reducing family-wide screen time.  

    We’ll go through the many different activities that you can do and the benefit that they have for your kids and your family.

    Spend Time Outside

    You’ve heard that kids should spend more time outside, but why is it so important?

    According to the Child Mind Institute, children are spending so much time indoors that it has turned into a national crisis. A name was even given to the crisis called “nature deficit disorder.” 

    That may sound silly, but children are indeed spending far more time inside on technology and far less time outside in nature. 

    The average American child is said to spend 4 to 7 minutes a day in unstructured play outdoors, and over 7 hours a day in front of a screen.

    Child Mind Institute

    That statistic seems unbelievable, but when you pair that with another statistic from Common Sense Media, it starts to make sense. 

    Common Sense Media reports that the average American child age 8 to 12-years-old spends 4 hours and 44 minutes on screens each day, and the average teenager spends 7 hours and 22 minutes. 

    That study does not include time spent on computers for school.

    If your child wants to spend the majority of their time indoors, consider these great reasons to get them out into nature:

    • Going outside helps kids develop confidence. 
    • Time outside leads to lower levels of stress and anxiety.
    • Spending time outside helps with cognitive development. 
    • Nature-time helps develop sensory skills.
    • Playing outside provides exercise.
    • Time outside in nature uplifts mood. 
    • Outside time may help grow a stronger immune system.

    If you live in the city, take your kids to the local park or visit state or national parks. If you live in a rural area, you may be able to do many of the same things right in your own backyard. 

    Arts and Crafts Time

    Arts and crafts have certainly had their time to shine recently. You may have heard of makers movement, and there may be maker spaces popping up in locations near you.

    But have you stopped to wonder why kids are encouraged to participate in arts and crafts? Is it just to pass the time, or does the art of making something actually hold real value?

    The fun news is, even if your kid isn’t a little Picasso, creating art is wonderful for their mental health and development.

    Here are some of the best reasons why you should encourage your kid to try their hand at arts and crafts:

    • Develops fine motor skills
    • Helps with bilateral coordination
    • Promotes creativity
    • Gives kids a way to express themselves
    • Helps kids think critically and learn how to problem-solve
    • Teaches other things like colors, shapes, and textures

    Giving your kids time to do arts and crafts doesn’t have to be complicated. There are thousands of ideas for crafts on the internet, but if crafting is not your thing, don’t fret. Just give your kids paper, glue, scissors, and something to color with. They’ll come up with something to do with very little direction from you.

    Have Real Conversations With Your Kids

    Just taking the time to talk with your kids is immensely beneficial. Make some dedicated time to set down all cell phones and devices and have real conversations with your kids. Talking to your kids from the time they are babies on up into the teenage years can do a lot to grow your relationship, and it can also help with development. 

    Here are some great reasons to make time to talk with your kids (even when they’re babies):

    • Helps with language development
    • Develops critical thinking
    • Grows their vocabulary
    • Helps kids work through their emotions
    • Teaches them compassion and sensitivity
    • Develops social skills 
    • Helps kids understand both verbal and nonverbal communication
    • Helps with brain development

    As your child gets older and is able to communicate through language, it’s extremely important to have real conversations with them. It grows your relationship, offers a safe place for them to share their thoughts, and helps them learn how to better communicate with those around them.

    Spend Time Playing With Your Kids

    In addition to letting kids have time spent in independent play, it’s also good to spend time playing with your kids. It’s not every parent’s favorite thing to do, but it will mean a lot to your child. 

    Playing with your kids also helps them in a variety of ways, including:

    • Developing social skills
    • Regulating emotions
    • Lowering stress 

    Playtime with your kids also encourages bonding. Studies show that spending time in imaginary play with your kids releases the hormone oxytocin – which is known as the “bonding chemical.”

    One of the best reasons to play with your kids is that it’s just downright fun. It’s something they will enjoy doing that isn’t plopping down in front of a TV.

    Encourage Kids to Write Their Own Stories and Make Their Own Games

    If your kids are sad because they can’t catch up with their favorite TV characters or because they can’t play their favorite game on their tablet, tell them to come up with their own games and stories. 

    Here are some advantages to creative writing for kids:

    • Helps with self-confidence
    • Encourages self-expression
    • Helps with communication skills
    • Teaches kids to problem solve
    • Writing about characters can help kids develop emotional intelligence. 

    Children that make their own games and stories will also be equipped with another way to entertain themselves. When they finish writing a story, let them read it to the whole family. If they’ve come up with a new game, try to make time to play it with them. Their confidence will soar as they realize that they can make their own fun.

    Teach Your Kids to Help With Cooking and Chores

    There are only so many hours in the day to keep up with the mountains of responsibilities that each parent has. 

    One way to keep your kids off screens and still remain productive is to include them in the work of the home. 

    When kids are little, it’s easy to think that they can’t help. Little kids often want to help unload the dishwasher or sweep the floor. You know they won’t do a great job, so you may tell them to go play.

    Instead of counting them off as too little, see this as an opportunity to plant seeds. Those little helpers will one day be bigger and much more capable. 

    The next time your toddler wants to dump out your basket of clean laundry, take the time to teach them how to fold a washcloth. They’ll probably try to fold other clothes too. Even if you have to re-fold them after they’re done, helping you will bring them joy. 

     As they get older, they will develop the skills to do it right, and it will already be part of their normal routine. Some studies show that small children want to help without any thought of a reward. It’s built in them to want to do what their parents are doing and be a helpful part of it. 

    Here are some really good reasons for including your kids in household chores:

    • Builds confidence
    • Teaches kids necessary skills like how to cook and clean
    • Encourages a sense of responsibility
    • Teaches a sense of community in the family
    • As the kids get older, the workload is shared

    Plan Family Outings

    You don’t have to spend a lot of money to take the kids out. Pack a lunch and take a trip to the local park. Take trips to the local library or visit a museum in your area. To save money, you can also purchase annual museum, zoo, or other entertainment venue passes, so you can make it a regular part of your year. 

    Consider these activities:

    • Visit a local historical site.
    • Take your kids fishing.
    • Ride bikes on a local trail.
    • Visit a local planetarium or travel to a place where you can see the stars well at night.
    • Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or adopt a highway – find ways to serve the community with your kids.
    • Go to the farmers market.
    • Visit a local beach.
    • Take your kids geocaching.
    • Look for a new playground to explore.
    • Go bowling or roller skating.
    • Take the family camping.
    • Make a picnic and go to the park.Incorporating These Tips Into Your Life

    With anything new that you try, there will be challenges.

    As you start to wean your kids from screen time, you may be challenged with anger or confusion. They likely won’t understand why you’re trying to make this change. 

    If they’re old enough, have an open conversation with them about why you’re doing things differently. Let them be part of the solution. Ask them what they think will be the best way to cut back on their own screen time. 

    Next, try one piece of advice at a time. Choose one app that you can use to help slow down the family screen time. Pick one new activity to do as a family. Start with one hour a day of unstructured playtime. See how these things fit (or don’t fit) into your family routine.

    If one screen-limiting tip just doesn’t seem to work, try another one. You may not be a family that loves craft time, but it may make sense for your family to spend more time outside. 

    Do what works best for your family. 

    As your kids spend less time on screens and more times doing other things, you will be amazed at the ingenuity of your children. In addition, as the family spends more time together and less time on screens, you will see your bonds growing stronger. 

    Finally, understand that technology is nearly inescapable these days. Many jobs depend on technology in order to run. Your kids should be learning how to use technology, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for them developing these skills as well. The takeaway is to offset their screen time with other things that are important for their growth.

    Be patient with yourself and your kids during this transition and reap the rewards!

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