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  • The Best Way to Show Affection to Your Toddler

    The Best Ways to Show Affection to Your Toddler

    One of the most important gifts that you can give to your child is a healthy sense of self-esteem. This significant inner security comes with feelings of being unconditionally loved, safe, and complete.

    Your child, very likely, has the ability to develop healthy self-esteem if the environmental conditions are supportive. Your contribution in creating these conditions is connected to your ability to show affection to your child. 

    Being able to connect and forge a bond with your child isn’t relevant only in infancy. Toddlers need such a connection too. They can’t thrive without it. Good parent-child relationships don’t just happen, they are consciously made and maintained. 

    What a Parent and Child Need

    • Sense of safety
    • Unconditional acceptance
    • Unconditional love 
    • Ability to adapt
    • Kindness
    • Compassion 
    • Empathy

    There’s no single solution to how to get this relationship right, yet there are a few powerful activities you can share with them that will communicate affection.

    If you take your time to offer your child a space of safety and love, your relationship will keep improving and getting stronger.

    Building a Strong Relationship

    1. Create tiny rituals. To create an environment of trust and respect, you can develop simple daily rituals and engage in them with your child.
    • Rituals are best mastered if they’re connected to an existing habit. For example: going to the park after lunch, morning hug after waking up, hug and run before playschool, or daddy/mommy dance when one of the parents returns from work. The options are unlimited.

    These tiny traditions shouldn’t be complex and definitely should not cost you much.

    • Simple and easy experiences that don’t require a lot of planning usually make the best and most sustainable rituals.
    1. Give lots of cuddles and hugs. Notice what your child is doing throughout the day and occasionally encourage or reward their actions with warm, loving hugs.
    • By cuddling and hugging them after a certain behavior, you support the formation of the neurological pathways that will reinforce this behavior.

    On the other hand, when your child is upset or shows intense fear, frustration, anger, or another negative emotion, this highly charged emotional expression might stress you out. The most common automatic response is to control and suppress your child’s current sentiments.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/the-importance-of-humility-in-parenting

    However, instead of following your initial instinct and causing additional emotional pain to your already-suffering toddler, it’s much better to take a moment or two to calm down, accept your child’s state, and offer a hug.

    1. Inspire curiosity. Besides being crucial for learning and intellectual development, curiosity plays an important role

    Stimulating your child’s curiosity also leads to more imagination, playfulness, creativity, and sets them up for a more satisfying future.

    • The best way to inspire this sacred sense of wonder in your child is to be curious yourself. Be a role-model and show your interest in various activities, ideas, and cultures.

    Additionally, if your child has started to talk, you can ask questions, question answers, practice and encourage active listening, pay attention to details, and more.

    • Spending time cultivating curiosity with your child shows that you care.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/parentslistentokids

    1. Carefully set limits. One aspect of parenting that is most in need of affection is the process of teaching discipline. Defining boundaries, setting limits, introducing responsibilities – all of these can be taught and introduced in a dignified, loving manner.
    • What kids look for when they learn about discipline from you as their parent is your own level of ability for responsibility. Children seek to see if you’re “walking the walk.”

    Having your toddler’s respect matters more than your strict assertion of the rules. If your little one feels that you’re dependable, reliable, consistent, and disciplined yourself, then you can be clear but gentle when you set limits, and your word will be obeyed. 

    Early childhood is a precious, luxurious period for you and your child. The more you cherish the moments of affection with your toddler, the stronger the bond between you becomes. All your child needs is your love.

  • Everything You Need To Know About Teaching Kids Resilience

    How The “Hero’s Journey” Can Teach Your Kids About Resilience

    Kids need heroes.

    I know you want to raise a resilient child. So, the best way to do this is to make sure your kids have a hero in their lives. Someone who is going to inspire them and offer a moral compass. Someone who is going to be a powerful role-model. A character who shows that life is an adventure that comes with troubles and hardships, enemies and danger, but always ends well. As long as the hero doesn’t give up, victory is possible.

    As Albert Einstein said:

    “You never fail until you stop trying.”

    Every good movie, book, or story typically has one myth in the middle – a myth called “The Hero’s Journey” that was introduced by Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero with A Thousand Faces.”

    The author aims to show to us that adventures world-famous heroes are facing aren’t far from what we’re going through in our present life, each day.

    Understanding this will support you and your child to be more persistent, patient, and resilient, just like Simba, Hercules, Luke Skywalker, and Batman. 

    The hero’s journey usually consists of 12 steps which could be divided into 3 major stages: 

    1. The first stage. This stage starts with the hero’s separation from his ordinary life. This separation happens because the hero’s boring life has been challenged by a call or invitation to adventure.

    As stepping out of one’s comfort zone is not easy, the hero hesitates at first and decides to refuse the invitation. Soon enough, he regrets that decision and then comes across someone wise and inspiring who becomes his mentor. Once the hero feels supported and guided, he is ready to take the journey.

    1. The second stage. As the journey unfolds, trials, challenges and difficulties are rising. One is more difficult than the other.

    This part carries the most significance for learning that resilience is a necessary part of any successful adventure and life in general. When the hero endures uncomfortable and painful tests and faces the strongest enemies, they often find new ways of solving challenges and adopt many shifts in mindset.

    1. The third and final stage. Steps in this stage include: reward, the road back home, the final test, and return home.

    After many battles and obstacles, the hero finally returns to their former life. From the outside, everything seems to be the same, yet it all feels very different. This is because the hero has changed and transformed through the journey. 

    Helping your child to understand the hero’s journey within a movie, cartoon, or fairytale is a fantastic way to help them develop a moral compass of integrity, resilience, and compassion. 

    This kind of storytelling contains some major resilience-forming ideas:

    • Helps children understand the importance of individual strengths
    • Introduces the benefits of learning from mistakes
    • Empowers children to make decisions
    • Recognizes the importance of being open to support 
    • Promotes qualities such as fairness, integrity, persistence, and kindness
    • Demonstrates how behaviors affect others
    • Stresses the importance of generosity 
    • Helps kids understand that life’s events aren’t random 
    • Teaches the importance of discipline in life 

    Your children will face massive change through their life, just like you did. Through that change they will gain greater insight into their identity and capabilities.

    The sooner they find out that life carries trials, tests, and difficulties, the better equipped they will be to face them. 

    With morally balanced and highly accountable heroes in your child’s immediate surroundings, your child learns to embrace change in life as they embark on their own wonderful journeys and adventures. 

    Are you ready to become that hero for your child?

    Start by identifying your current reality, recognizing the changes you need to make, and then make them in order to become a better version of yourself and a greater role-model of resilience for your child.

    Life Lessons: How the Hero’s Journey Can Teach Kids About Perseverance

    Every parent would like their child to be successful in life – a winner, an autonomous, resilient, self-confident person, who is more often happy and satisfied than not – someone who conquers everyday challenges and leaves the battle without too much scarring.

    Brilliant scientist and Nobel Prize winner, Marie Curie said, “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” 

    Yes, perseverance is what it takes to deal with life’s difficulties each and every day.

    So, how do we do that? How do we teach our children to stay persistent despite difficulties and delays in achieving success?

    • Do we set them on our lap and tell them life is hard, but they need to be strong?
    • Do we put complicated tasks on their path to see how they’ll deal with them?

    The best way to teach perseverance to kids is to read them stories. You just have to spend quality time with your child and be patient. Reading stories about heroes and even introducing them to various cartoons or movies can be more beneficial than you might think. 

    The “Hero’s Journey” is the standard template used in stories, fairy tales, and movie plots. It explains how the hero handles the situation, deals with the difficulties, solves the critical issues, and as a result, learns something new and significant. 

    Here are the beneficial, perseverance-related messages your child will get from heroic tales:

    1. Everyone is good enough to be a hero

    Most of the stories start by describing the hero’s life before the adventure begins. Here, a child will learn that heroes are common, regular, everyday people who encounter extraordinary situations.

    • Kids don’t have to own superpowers to be persistent in dealing with life. Being who they are is their biggest power.
    1. New adventures are all around us

    An adventure doesn’t have to start dramatically. Kids just have to recognize it and accept it as challenging but not impossible. Everyday life is full of simple and complicated challenges.

    • The hero’s journey explains that anything that disrupts your daily life can be perceived as a challenge.
    1. It is okay to have doubts

    You will often see heroes who have second thoughts, personal doubts, and often refuse to face the challenge at first. This teaches children that it’s okay to be scared or to value the comfort one’s hometown more than an exotic adventure. However, the rest of the story sends a message that overcoming a challenge comes with a great reward.

    1. It’s okay to receive support

    Heroes usually have their mentors. This gives children a chance to learn that it’s okay to ask for help and accept support. Perseverance is all about knowing when to give 100% of yourself, when to take a break, and when to share the burden.

    • Mentors are here to provide the reality check, show the hero how to do things, and applaud the effort.
    1. The luck is ever-changing, but persistence pays off

    Heroes in tales deal with various tests before they face the final ordeal. They meet their allies and enemies.

    This happens in a child’s everyday life too, but we don’t define those events in such a dramatic way. The child learns that even though their abilities are tested continuously, they gain deeper insight after accomplishing each task.

    1. Every journey comes with a lesson

    The outcome of the hero’s journey (be it victory or defeat) doesn’t matter that much. What counts is the fact that, through facing and enduring challenges, the hero transforms and develops. Facing his fears, the hero grows as a person, learns many things, and finds fresh hope.

    This helps children learn that being persistent pays off, even when they don’t achieve what they’ve planned. Gaining experience is just as valuable in a child’s life as succeeding.

    Planting the seed of perseverance in your child’s mind might seem complicated, but it is rather simple. Just ensure that you are there for them when they fall to validate their emotions and reward their steps forward, no matter how small they are. 

    Related: darlingsteps.com/teachkidsresilience

    Most importantly, be a person who doesn’t give up easily and your child will learn to do the same. You can be their hero!

    resilient child happy

  • How To Listen to Your Child, The Right Way

    How to Listen to Your Child, The Right Way!

    If you want your children to listen to you, it’s important to listen to them. If you’re looking for additional motivation, a recent study found that having at least one caring parent was the most important factor in helping kids to build resilience and succeed in school.

    Children were six times more likely to overcome challenges and complete their homework if they had a parent who listened to them, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics.

    While parents had the greatest influence, other research shows that the presence of any caring adult can increase positive outcomes too.

    If you want to help your kids or children in general, work on your listening skills. Try these tips for listening to your child.

    Tips for Preparing to Talk with Your Child

    You may have to lay some groundwork if you want your child to talk with you more. 

    Create an environment that encourages heartfelt talks:

    Spend time together

    Your child will be more likely to come to you with sensitive issues if you nurture a close connection. Block out time each day for family meals and sharing fun activities. Do household chores together and read stories before bedtime.

    1. Tune out distractions

    Give your child your full attention when they need to talk. Put away your phone and stop thinking about the office and mortgage payments.

    1. Work on timing

    Successful conversations sometimes depend on the setting. Let your child know that you’ll be available later if they need time to compose themselves or think a situation through.

    1. Calm down

    Similarly, you may need to cool off. It’s easy to say things in anger that you’ll regret later. Taking a walk around the block could prevent you from making a harsh comment that could stick with your child for years.

    1. Think positive

    Let your child know that you notice the things they do well in addition to the times they mess up. Talk more about making friends and learning and less about grades and unmade beds.

    Tips for Listening to Your Child

    Anyone can strengthen their attentive listening skills. Those same skills are likely to help you with other relationships too.

    Use these strategies to shore up your listening skills:

    1. Focus on interaction

    Dialogue moves in two directions. Ensure that you listen at least as much as you speak. 

    1. Let go of judgements

    Show your child that you love and accept them just as they are. You can validate their experiences even when you disagree with their choices.

    1. Drop your agenda

    Encourage your child to develop their own perspective and solve their own dilemmas. Resist the urge to do the work for them.

    1. Address underlying issues

    There’s often more to a conversation than what appears on the surface. If you think your child is overreacting or developing unhealthy patterns, you may need to dig deeper or consider family counseling.

    1. Watch your body language

    A great deal of communications is non-verbal. Use your facial expressions and gestures to show your child that you’re interested and supportive. Make eye contact and keep your body relaxed and open.

    1. Discuss feelings

    Even adults often struggle to identify and share their feelings. The more you work on your own emotional intelligence, the more you can be a role model for understanding and expressing feelings.

    1. Keep practicing

    You may find that active listening seems unnatural or complicated at first. However, your abilities will grow over time, and your family life will be enriched just by making the effort.

    Help your child to develop healthy self-esteem and communication skills by listening to what they have to say. They’ll have a brighter future, and you’ll both enjoy a closer relationship.

    Related: darlingsteps.com/ultimateguidetogrowthmindsetformomskids

    darlingsteps.com/8-steps-to-help-your-child-with-self-esteem

  • A Parent’s Guide to Asking Siblings to Babysit

    Older children have been babysitting their siblings for generations. However, it’s a decision that each family needs to make for itself.

    Of course, there are advantages to having a babysitter who knows your house rules and doesn’t need a ride home at the end of the night. On the other hand, keeping your family safe and happy is much more important than any minor convenience.

    Related: How Working Moms Manage Time Like a Pro

    Are you thinking about putting one child in charge of their brothers and sisters? Consider these factors before you make your final decision.

    Asking Your Child to Babysit Their Siblings

    Maryland is currently the only state with a legal minimum age for babysitting. Given that individual children mature at very different rates, parents may be the most reliable judges as to when a child is ready.

    Keep these tips in mind for a successful start:

    Assess the situation

    What’s your child’s track record when it comes to making decisions and following through on commitments? Do your children play well together or bicker much of the time? Plus, if children are close in age, it may be more difficult for one to exert authority.

    Make it optional

    Find out whether your child is interested in babysitting. The arrangement is unlikely to work without their cooperation.

    Set limits

    Any caregiving arrangement has to allow sufficient time for your child’s other activities, including school and socializing. Watch for any signs that they’re becoming overburdened.

    Aim for Consensus

    Discuss your plans with each family member. Ideally, the whole family will be on board. Be open to feedback and try to address any concerns.

    Offer rewards

    Some parents pay children to babysit, and others consider it part of the daily routine. If you’re not exchanging money, you can show your gratitude in other ways like special privileges or a gift.

    Preparing Your Child to Babysit Their Siblings

    The basic principles of babysitting apply whether you’re working with a family member or a professional service. Help your child to succeed in their new role.

    Use these techniques to help prepare your child for babysitting others:

    Start small

    Leave your child in charge for an hour at first. That way, they can practice before they attempt an entire evening.

    Related: End The Power Struggles NOW

    Seek training

    Babysitting classes can help any caregiver feel more competent and confident. Check with your local universities, hospitals, or Red Cross.

    Role play

    You can also teach your children at home. Present them with scenarios like a stranger coming to the door or a fire starting in the kitchen. Let them show you how they’d respond.

    Review expectations

    The process may be more informal when you’re hiring your own child, but they need to take their responsibility seriously. Go over tasks like preparing meals and enforcing bedtimes.

    Discuss discipline

    Think about the consequences for serious misbehavior. You may want to deal with it when you get home or give your child the authority to enforce timeouts or withhold privileges.

    Related: How To Discipline Your Kids

    Ban guests

    Visitors can distract any babysitter from their duties. Let your child know your policy about guests. You may also want to put limits on phone calls and social media if you think your child will have trouble concentrating.

    Provide emergency contacts

    Ensure that your children know what to do in an emergency in case you’re not home. In addition to family fire drills, leave a list of resources they can contact, including a neighbor or relative who lives close by.

    Taking care of siblings can be a useful way for older children to contribute to family life and learn valuable lessons about handling responsibility.

    Related: Prepare for an Emergency

    If your child seems mature and interacts well with their brothers and sisters, you may want to ask them to babysit on a trial basis.